Blog Posts by The chicks at TotalBeauty.com

Dear Photo Editors: The jig is up. People are onto you and your maniacal ways. So, what do you say you step away from the Photoshop stylus so we can talk?

Attaboy.

For years, we avid consumers of media have feasted upon your offerings of the beautiful people. Countless photos of an ageless Madonna, a svelte Tyra Banks, a flawless J. Lo have seeped into our collective consciousness and done a major number on our self-esteem.

Related: Are Kim Kardashian's Curves Actually Attainable?

You've been chided in the past for brushing and tweaking images of genetically blessed, bronzed, Amazonian models to levels of ridiculous perfection -- but did that stop you? Ha.

You put stars' heads onto other people's bodies, whittle away at waistlines, re-position hands and legs to near contortionist proportions all the while hiding behind the claim that it's "art" and that people want to see "perfect images."


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Last night was not a good night. Well, not for me and my body issues anyway.

That's because last night CBS ditched its geriatric fans to accommodate hot-blooded men of all ages. Yes, it was the much-anticipated night where perfect Brazilian bombshells take to the stage decked out in little more than wings and million dollar bras.

And, while I joke (kinda) about hating those Angels because they're so flipping hot, I'm here to let you in on a little secret. I've been made privy to a whole slew of their sexiest beauty secrets. I'm not talking body tips here. I know my limitations. But I do have an inside track on how the girls -- including Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Miranda Kerr, and Lily Aldridge -- get their hair and makeup so damn sexy.

Related: 9 Tips to Faking a Toned Body

My stubby little legs and WonderBra'd boobs and I were backstage during the taping of the show to uncover exactly how the models got their heads runway ready. Like the production itself,

Say what you want about Lady Gaga, but the girl's got staying power.

That and she must never sleep.

Since last August when Barneys let slip that she'd be their celeb curator for the holiday season, fans have been clamoring to get a glimpse at what would come out of Gaga's Workshop. So far, we've seen toys, apparel, and confections. Today, the day her latest "Vanity Fair" cover hits stands, was the big reveal of her new, totally-nuts-yet-oh-so-cool nail art.

Related: The 2011 Nail Polish Awards

tkDesigned in partnership with her own nail guru, Naomi Yasuda, and manufactured by Kiss, Gaga's four press-on nail kits come with 24 nails in different sizes and everything you need to apply them. Of course, they're supremely limited and, at $45, pretty spendy. But remember that Barneys is donating a generous 25 percent of every purchase to Gaga-chosen charities, so that should help make you feel less guilty for grabbing some.

totalbeauty

Inspired by Gaga and also at

Do you clock hours watching "Cake Boss" utterly flabbergasted by how Buddy and his guys create their masterpieces? Ever walked a mile inside a Joann's or Michael's picturing all of the awesome things you could sew, scrapbook, needlepoint, or paint if only -- wait, what's the stumbling block again? -- oh, yeah, if only you had talent?

Yeah, me too. I've made peace with the fact that I'm arts and crafts-challenged. And I'm fine with it -- especially because I've figured out a way to sublimate. I simply swap the cut up bits of paper and fancy crochet needles for makeup -- lots of pretty makeup -- that, despite my inherent lack of craftiness, I happen to be quite adept at applying.

Related: 7 Hottest Fall/Winter 2011 Makeup Trends

The thing is, I've gotten complacent with my signature eye makeup look. And even though I can pull off a smoky eye in 5 minutes flat, during the holidays I find myself clamoring for something more festive. After all, this glitzy, done-up

Is it normal to have a panic attack at the nail salon?

OK, I'm exaggerating. But a few weeks ago, I found myself staring at the floor-to-ceiling wall of polishes and a massive case of indecision took over. (Granted, that freak-out was way more mellow than the one I had after reading this story on the 12 secrets your nail salon doesn't want you to know, but I digress.)

Here's what happened: As I tried to dial into the color I wanted -- red, pink, turquoise? -- I found at least 10 different brands with nearly identical shades in each hue. Which one would be the shiniest? Which would last the longest without chipping? After all, I don't have money to get a mani every other day. I needed to know which brand would make my $15-plus-tip mani worth it. I needed to know the best freakin' nail polish out there.

Related: 12 Nail Care Products That Will Transform Your Hands

Sadly, I ended up choosing this polish that chipped in less than a day. Happily, that experience

I'll never forget the first time my boyfriend saw me using my beloved Shu Uemura eyelash curler. I was putting on my makeup in front of the full-length mirror in our bedroom when he walked in and actually let out an audible shriek.

"What kind of torture device is that?!" he asked. It was one of those things I blew off immediately (kind of like his nudging about why I need 47 pairs of jeans or have five pots of this amazing lip gloss scattered around our apartment). But if I'm honest, his question about my go-to makeup tool did make me pause. Was my eyelash curler some kind of torture device -- or do most women, like me, consider it a necessity?

Turns out I'm not the masochist my man pegged me to be: A whopping 82 percent of our Facebook fans also use these pinching little terrors daily.

Related: 13 Makeup Tools You Shouldn't Live Without

If you're not one of those women, check out these surprising ways to make your eyes look more open without a curler. For those

Forget the parade, the football, the small talk with relatives I see once a year. For me, Thanksgiving is about one thing: the food.

When faced with a table bursting with creamed corn, candied yams, and mashed potatoes, I eat until I can't possibly shovel another spoonful of stuffing or turkey into my mouth. And then I have a slice or two of pie (come on, there's always room for dessert, right?).

Related: 7 Snacks That Won't Make You Fat

Of course, when I have to slyly unbutton my jeans under the table and pretend to play "doctor" with my little cousins after dinner because it means I can lie down for a few minutes to digest, I make a silent vow to never -- ever -- eat pecan pie again.

And yes, it's a vow I promptly break when I spot half of that pie among the fridge full of leftovers the next day.

Rather than succumb to the usual post-Thanksgiving gorge fest this year, I asked culinary nutritionist Diane Henderiks, RD, for some easy ways to make over my leftovers.

If you're anything like me, you'll be driving to your Aunt Barbara's house for Thanksgiving. You'll have three bored, restless kids in the backseat (thank God for built-in DVD systems and headphones) and a husband who refuses to use the GPS because he "knows the roads better than some machine." Good times.

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At some point you'll pull into a pit stop so the kids can empty their tiny bladders -- again. You'll walk into the convenience store and into a black hole of candy, chips, beef jerky, nachos, hot dogs, and other nutritionally devoid options. What to do? Pop a can of Pringles and gulp down a slurpee? Or muster every last modicum of self-restraint and snatch up a snack that won't leave you with a serious case of buyer's remorse?

Yeah, option two is not the popular (read: easy) way to go. So, to help us all resist the processed, high fructose evil that lurks in such situations, I begged celebrity dietitian, Ashley Koff, RD,