Blog Posts by HowAboutWe

Girls vs. Sex and The CityBy Jenifer Jonson for HowAboutWe

In the first season of "Girls," twentysomething ingénue Marnie lays out the "hierarchy of communication" between men and women:

"Texting is one of the lowest forms of communication on the totem of chat. You have Facebook at your lowest, before that there's Google chat, texting, email, and a phone call. Face-to-face is of course ideal, but is not of this time."

Plus: New Dating Book you Can't Afford to Miss

Hearing this, I, a 39-year-old mother of 3 who until recently hadn't been on a date in 15 years, found myself screaming "YES" at the television.

I'm one of those people who met a man in college, married him, had 3 kids, and moved to the suburbs. Even before my marriage, I was always the one looking for a meaningful monogamous partnership. Dating was simply a means to that end. And once I became a wife and mother, I wasn't exactly keeping up on the singledom trends.

But now, fresh after a divorce, I find myself in some strange bubble. I'm the Rip

Equala, the By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe

There's a new app on the market that claims to be a "gamechanger" in the realm of modern-day dating, though perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a "gamechanger" in the realm of somewhat sad internet stalking. The app's developers are in fact so sold on its effectiveness that the press release they sent had the subject line, "No More Steak Dinners!" Because now you can use music, not Outback Steakhouse, to win a man?

Plus: 7 Types of Guys That Won't Make You Happy

Equala, available on iTunes and Android, apparently connects to your Facebook account and…somehow? gathers the music tastes of all the men you like (assuming, of course, that you're already friends with them on Facebook).

After that, you just follow these steps (quoted from the press release):

Get familiar with his top jams. Listen [to them] yourself (or at least, pretend to)

Pretend to listen to music? AKA look up the lyrics online? I dunno.

Plus: New Dating Book you Can't Afford to

By Alison Vingiano for HowAboutWe

Men, we're gonna save us all some time and just say it now: at some point, you will have to watch a chick-flick with your significant other. Given this reality, we decided to arm you with a few that you'll actually enjoy.

You can follow Alison Griffin Vingiano on twitter and tumblr.

Hugh Jackman deals with his stalker.By Kayt Sukel for HowAboutWe

In recent weeks Hugh Jackman made headlines when he was confronted by a stalker as he left a gym in New York City. Katherine Thurston, 47, followed the actor from his home to the gym, where she chased him with an electric razor (reportedly full of her pubic hair) and repeatedly declared her love. It wasn't the first time Thurston had accosted Jackman-he and his family reported seeing her outside their home, as well as his children's school.

Plus: 10 Things Not to Do in the Bedroom

Many news outlets wanted to focus on the hilarity of the situation. But the important question in this situation is, what causes someone to stalk? Sure, Hugh is a tall and handsome celebrity, and some of us might follow him around for a minute to snap a photo. But what is happening in the mind of a person who goes to such lengths to repeatedly follow a celebrity to work, break into his or her house, and even threaten his or her family?

Plus: Here Is Where We Get Honest About

Living together is still a big deal.By Melanie Berliet for HowAboutWe

Last fall, my boyfriend was in the process of moving when my landlord decided to kick me out (I'd spent thousands of dollars to renovate the apartment she technically owned, all without her permission). On the upside of eviction, I saw a message: The universe wants me to live with my boyfriend-in a place furnished with dimmers and proper faucets so I won't have to hire an unlicensed electrician and plumber to install them. My boyfriend agreed.

Plus: The Sexiest Things Shakespeare Ever Said

Some might call this "sliding, not deciding" to cohabit. But even after living alone for ten years, I didn't feel compelled to spend hours weighing the pros and cons of moving in together. If anything, since my divorcé of a boyfriend had already gone down the traditional relationship path, I was excited to "live in sin." It was something new for both of us. I didn't view it as all that serious, or some giant leap toward engagement.

To me, shacking up provided the

Are BFFs the new spouses?By Glynnis MacNicol for HowAboutWe

The longest relationships I've ever had have all spanned over a decade. They've been meaningful, intense at times, and deeply, deeply rewarding.
They've also all been with friends.

When I first arrived in New York City, a transplant from Canada without a single NYC number in my phone (actually I didn't even have a cell phone) I met three women who have had a larger impact on my life than anyone else.

Plus: Let's Get Honest About Whether He Likes You Or Not

Those friendships shaped the usual roller coaster ride that is your twenties: break-ups, job losses, late rent checks, evictions, diabolically ill-conceived nights out, and countless moves into fifth-floor walkups. In my thirties, we have supported each other through weddings, family crises, marriage, and children.

These relationships are as close to unconditional as I can hope to find, and they will continue throughout my life. It's not hard for me to imagine meeting these women for happy hour

It's impossible to truly know.By Ryan Dodge for HowAboutWe

Max wasn't fazed when Katie*, the woman he'd been dating for a few weeks, casually mentioned that she didn't plan on having children. While Max has always known that he wanted to be a father, he was only 25 at the time and still in business school-it's not like he wanted to be a father now. He was happy to put the matter aside and enjoy what at that point was still just a fling.

Plus: Is Anyone Ever Truly 'Ready' for Cohabitation?

During the first few years of their relationship, Katie's desire to remain child-free came up occasionally, but Max says he "never took it as a fundamental precept of her life philosophy, an unyielding commitment that she had." And as she grew closer to Max and his large, happy family, her stance gradually softened. "Never" became "if," which eventually became "when." Max and Katie have now been together for six years and plan to start a family together at some point in the not-too-distant future.

Thomas,

Breaking up becomes a numbers game.By Jo Piazza for HowAboutWe

I have historically been a bad breaker-upper. In my twenties, I subscribed to the wisdom of Bryan Brown's Doug Coughlin, the wizened old bartender in "Cocktail," that "all things end badly, or else they wouldn't end."

Plus: Is Anyone Ever Truly 'Ready' for Cohabitation?

Not everyone is as fatalistic as I am. In fact, a new trend of breaking up has emerged: couples are deciding to be not only civilized about their impending splits, but punctual. They're planning ahead and setting a date for their breakup (sometimes going so far as to put an actual date in the calendar), and then enjoying their final days together before ushering in a clean break.

Sound too good to be true? Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. In the right circumstances, a planned breakup can be the result of a meaningful and honest conversation in which both parties are fully honest with themselves and each other. Realistic goals are made, expectations are set, and then