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    Blog Posts by HowAboutWe

    • The 9 Types Of Pre-Exclusive Relationships

      by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be "If they're not your significant other, then what the hell are they?" Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don't have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here's a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting.


      1. OGBC (On-Going Booty Call)
      Sex and sex only. Whenever you're both down. For as long as you can remain essentially strangers. You've probably never seen your OGBC before midnight. Related: How Much Do You Drink On A Date
      2. FWB (Friends With Benefits)
      The most infamous of all PXRs, the FWB relationship is rarely ever as uncomplicated as either party pretends it is. The promise of a "no-strings-attached" deal with a person who you actually enjoy hanging out with is just too sweet, though. So, we keep acting like we're emotionally invincible until we ruin a perfectly good friendship. 3. TLKNG (Talking)
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    • The First Date: How To Turn Small Talk Into Real Talk

      by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe.com

      Do you go on a lot of boring dates? Dates that never really go anywhere because you never get beyond the chatty "getting-to-know-you" stuff? Is it sometimes hard to tell if you even like the person because you didn't really talk...about anything?

      Well, according to psychologist Dan Ariely, this happens because this is the way you want it.

      "We found a general trend supporting the idea that people like to maintain boring equilibrium at all costs," writes Ariely in a recent AskMen article. "When people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from."

      Related: 10 Ways To Deal With Your Partners Sexual Past

      Ariely is referring to a recent study of online daters in which he observed trends in the subject matter of messages on dating sites (which he generally found to be BOOOORING). He then forced these

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    • How Do "The Rules" Measure Up, 15 Years Later?

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      I was nine years old when The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mister Right was first published in 1995, but I still remember the buzz it caused. 15 years later, how well have The Rules stood the test of time?

      The Top Ten Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

      1. Be A Creature Unlike Any Other
      Uh, ok. How, exactly? Well, Fein and Schneider have a few suggestions for us. For example, we should try pausing between sentences! Dressing demurely! Breathing slowly! Walking briskly!

      Right. So next time you go to a bar, just wear a long skirt and a sweater, walk briskly to someone, say something, pause, take a deep slow breath, say something again, and wait for the magic to happen.

      Verdict: Ridiculous. Don't try this at home, girls.

      Related: 6 Things Girls Shouldn't Wear On A Date

      2. Show up to parties, dances, and social events even if you do not feel like it.
      If you're actively looking for someone to date (or, sure, marry, I

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    • Online Dating 101: You Don't Have To Respond To Everyone

      by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      One of the tough things about online dating is also one of the nicest: You can't possibly go out with everyone on the site who shows interest. You'll notice that people have viewed your profile. You'll receive notifications that people are "intrigued." People will send you messages and ask you out. You can't be expected to reciprocate all of this attention.

      Online Dating 101: Say It With Pictures

      Give yourself a break and remember that, because the stakes are much lower online, people don't necessarily expect a response from everyone they approach. It's good to give people a chance, of course, but if you know you're not interested from the get-go, there's no need to say anything at all.

      Online Dating 101: Don't Let Your Grammar Do The Talking

      If you're concerned that you're hurting people's feeling by not responding to their heart-felt, sincere missives, consider this: no response at all is often better than outright rejection.

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    • Online Dating 101: What To Do When You're No Longer Interested

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      You've been messaging back and forth with someone, and after a while you realize, nope, you're not really interested in this person. They, however, continue to message you. Awkward waters to navigate, right?

      This is why dating online is awesome and slightly less pressure than, say, trying to hit on someone at a party. Everyone you talk to on a dating site is presumably talking to other people as well, and willing to go on lots of dates in order to find the right person.

      Related: Online Dating 101: Is Your Facebook Page Ready For Love?

      So whereas at a party, it might be rude to abandon the guy or girl you've been talking to in favor of someone else, online, it's sort of part fo the game. If it's not gonna be a good fit, better for both parties to move on to the next option.

      Online Dating 101: Definitely Don't Photoshop Your Picture

      Depending on how many messages you've exchanged with someone, it may be acceptable to just stop responding. The Fade

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    • Online Dating 101: The Worst Thing To Bring Up On A First Date

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      One of the questions on the HowAboutWe Dating Profile asks what your "First Date No-Nos" are, and many people seem to think that bringing up an ex is the absolute worst thing you can do on a first date. A recent survey seems to corroborate this: 67% of singles think an ex is the worst thing to mention.

      Related: The Six Words You Should Never Utter On A First Date

      The same survey has a runner-up which can make your date just as uncomfortable: bringing up a medical condition or illness.

      Online Dating 101: Google Yourself

      Some medical conditions are necessary to bring up right away -- this is fine as long as you do it in a relatively composed, casual manner: relay the pertinent details (anything your date NEEDS to know), and change the topic as soon as possible. You can go into it in more detail eventually, but for now, keep it light.

      But other, less pressing medical conditions should definitely not come up over dinner or bowling: your IBS, bunions,

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    • Online Dating 101: Keep It Fresh

      By Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      So, you signed up for an online dating site and completed your profile. Six months ago. Something must have changed since then, right? So why doesn't your profile reflect that?

      Related: Online Dating 101: Say It With Pictures

      Did you cut all your hair off? Post a pic. We want to see how awesome you look. Did you go backpacking in Thailand? Tell us about it. New job? Congratulations! Make sure to update that in your basic information. Just had the best Bloody Mary of your life? Post the brunch spot as a date.

      Related: Online Dating 101: Uh, Definitely Don't Photoshop Your Profile Picture

      An online dating site is not that different than a social network, really. When something new happens in your life, whether it's earth shattering or not, it's okay to tell people about it. Updating your profile regularly keeps you invested in your dating life and keeps your head in the game. And just like with a bold new hair color or some fresh new

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    • George Clooney Is Single Again: Win Him Over In 7 Steps

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe

      Oh happy day! The most dashing man on the planet is single again, which means it's time for any interested girls to really up their dating game. Are you smooth enough to win over George Clooney if he should happen to walk into a room? These things take preparation.

      Look, at HowAboutWe, we don't encourage people to be anything but themselves. Everyone who's ever seen a teen comedy knows that you should never change yourself for a man.

      But this isn't a man we're talking about.

      This is Clooney.

      Some drastic measures might be necessary.

      Related: How To Be The Girl That Gets Noticed

      1. Be A Brunette

      Historically, Clooney has shown a preference for brunette women. In fact, we haven't seen him with a blonde since he starred in "One Fine Day" with Michelle Pheiffer. If your locks are anything lighter than chestnut, you might want to go a shade or two darker. You can always dye it back once you're happily installed in his villa on Lake Como.

      2. Become an

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    • The Crazy Things Guys Do On Facebook

      By Brady Tripp for HowAboutWe.com

      Last week, we talked about some Facebook practices women indulge in - none of which were very surprising to any men who have close female friends - and it's raised an interesting question, which is: do men have any similarly stalker-ish/passive-aggressive-ish tendencies on The Facebook?

      Related: The Crazy Things Women Do On Facebook

      Definitely, I say…but in different ways. And I don't know that I'd call all of them crazy, because I maybe possibly have and will likely again indulge in some of them myself.

      Here they are:

      1. Seeing if she matches my 3am memory - Thank you, facebook, for sparing us 21st-century men the traumas of our fathers, which was setting up a date with a girl late late late on a Friday night, only to discover upon meeting her for said date (in better lighting?) that she does not exactly match my recollection. Now we can look up that new name on the interweb Saturday morning and reassess if needed. (*Also valuable for checking

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    • Online Dating 101: Leave Sex Out Of It

      by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      Maybe you're not looking for a long term relationship. That's fine. Maybe you're not even looking for short term dating. Okay. You're just here to get laid. Cool. There are other sites out there for you. Just Google your intentions and you'll find a cornucopia of hook up services, ready to click. Please go there now.

      Related: Would You Ever Date A "Never-Nude?"

      For the rest of you, who are looking for soulmate, a bowling partner, or something in between, we're glad to have you. We also understand that, while you may be on a dating site to go out on dates, you're interested in sex, too. It's cool. Everybody is. Sex and dating go hand in hand.

      Related: 5 Perfectly Good Reasons You Might Be Single

      Because we can assume that most people on a dating site are, in fact, interested in having sex at some point, we can safely say that there is absolutely no reason on earth to mention sex in your profile, or (please please please no) in a

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