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    Blog Posts by HowAboutWe

    • The Case For Polyamory

      by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      Many singles are actively on the hunt for an exclusive, long term relationship (LTR, for those of you who hate actual words). There are also those among the ranks of the unattached who would prefer to remain so. They are comfortable dating multiple people at one time. Fed up with having only two options -- attached or alone -- they are exploring the possibilities of what lies between.

      Related: 5 Things Women Say That Make Men Crazy

      There are also those who have found a way to enjoy the best of both options -- a long term, loving relationship and multiple partners. They often refer to themselves as "polyamorous" or "poly," and there are currently about 500,000 reported relationships of this type in the US alone. Despite its frequency, polyamory is far from being widely recognized as a valid life-choice. (As I write this article, spell-check fails to recognize "polyamorous" as an actual word.)

      I became curious about how people in

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    • What The Hell Does "Quietly Dating" Mean?

      By Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      It seems that every time I turn on the internet these days, some celebrity is "quietly dating" someone. Am I the only person who finds this term ridiculous?

      Related: 6 "Psycho" Things That Women Do That Are Actually Pretty Reasonable

      For example, there is much speculation that Drake and Rihanna are "quietly dating." What would that even mean? Holing up with their college sweatshirts and Chinese delivery like in the "What's My Name" video? Study dates at the library? Hanging out at the local daycare around naptime? Does Drake still live with his parents and Rihanna has to sneak in through the window after they fall asleep? (That's cute to think about, right?)

      Related: 9 Sexy Things Guys Find Sexy About You That Have Nothing To Do With How You Look.

      "Quietly dating" may imply that two celebrities are in a pre-exclusive relationship which would be difficult to explain to the press. Maybe they're dating multiple people and fear some kid

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    • The 5 Signs You're A Filler Girlfriend

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      I have a lot of straight male friends: guy friends who invite me to movies, to plays, who take me to dinner with their bosses, who call me on Tuesday nights when they want to get out of the house, who bring me to weddings, who GChat with me all day. I'm not dating any of them, but it recently dawned on me: I'm their "filler" girlfriend.

      These guy friends are never all single at the same time: usually only one or two of them is unattached at any given moment. This means I spend a huge amount of my free time with the single ones, and see the attached ones every few weeks for dinner.

      The 9 Types Of Pre-Exclusive Relationships

      About every 10 months or so, the rotation changes: a guy who was in a relationship will break up, while a different bachelor will settle down. I'll reconnect with the newly single one ("Why'd we stop hanging out so much? I missed you!" he'll naively say), while the other guy will probably spend the next six months happily cocooned

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    • 6 Things Girls Shouldn't Wear On The First Date (If They Want A Second One)

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      My guy friends read a post on "10 Things Guys Shouldn't Wear On A Date" --which meant that last night I was subjected to a LONG list of what girls should never wear on first dates.

      Some of their suggestions are obvious. Some I disagree with. And some I've definitely been guilty of in the past.

      From the mouth of babes boys...

      9 Things Guys Find Sexy About You That Have Nothing To Do With How You Look

      1. Harem/Hammer pants
      Ok, I can see how guys would maybe not find this the most attractive look. I was a little surprised to see this on the list though--how often do girls actually wear these on dates?

      2. Sneakers This made the man list, too: Apparently no one should wear sneakers on dates. But women's sneakers can be really cute! Some adorable Converse? Keds? As a woman I hate this rule! But maybe everyone should save the sneakers for later on in the relationship...

      Five Sneakily Telling Questions To Ask On A First Date

      3. Too Much Jewelry
      How much

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    • 10 Things That Should Always Be In Your Purse On A Date

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      Sometimes I feel bad for guys, because they don't get to carry bags containing their vital possessions at all times. They're limited to pockets and wallets, whereas women get to make full use of the Boy Scout motto, "Always Be Prepared!"

      Are you always well and truly prepared for anything when you go on a date? Make sure you stuff your purse with these ten things.

      1. Tissues

      ESPECIALLY if you live on the East Coast, where a walk outdoors may at any given moment turn your nose into a faucet. Sorry to be gross, but seriously: Sniffling does not make for a good first impression.

      Related: The 5 Signs You're A Filler Girlfriend

      2. The Very Basic Things You Personally Feel You Need To Look Pretty

      Personally, I am totally against reapplying makeup. You want to look nice when the date first starts, but also you are a real person and not some constantly made-up doll, and also you should be applying makeup so that it lasts the whole evening, and also, too

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    • How Important Is Money In Dating?

      By Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      The role of money in dating has been a hot topic as of late. Whether it's exploring gender biases around paying for dinner (or embracing them gleefully) or worrying about long-term financial stability with a partner, fewer and fewer people seem to condemn such concerns as shallow and unromantic.

      Like it or not, how much we make affects how we date. And people are starting to talk more openly about it.

      So, we want to know what you think. How important is income in choosing a partner? Take a few minutes, fill out our survey, and get your voice heard on the matter.



      The Date Report is the companion blog to HowAboutWe.com, a dating site that makes it fun and easy to go on awesome dates. How it works: 1) Invent fun dates. 2) Ask people out. 3) Do something awesome, together. Sign up for free here. Don't forget to join us on Twitter and Facebook -- and download our brand-new app here!

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    • 10 Things Women Ask Themselves Before Sex

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      What do women think? Mainly "Alriiiiiight!" But also, a few other things.

      We don't think ALL these things, EVERY time we have sex. But these are definitely things that run through our heads before having sex with someone for the first time. Until we, you know, get swept up in things....

      1. What will my number be after this and do I care?
      Mostly, we don't care, and I've never known a girl to STOP a hookup for fear of what her number will be. But it DOES occur to us!

      What Sex Is Really Like For The Modern Man

      2. Should I shower, or, uhm, freshen up?
      Again, not as big of a deal for guys, but since women are, you know, anatomically different, this is a major concern. Will a quick trip to the bathroom kill the mood, will we be too anxious if we don't? (Note: THIS "Ask A Dude" post from The Hairpin did NOT alleviate any anxiety in this matter)

      3. Am I going to get pregnant?
      Did we take the pill this morning? Is the condom on right? Did we take EVERY

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    • The 9 Types Of Pre-Exclusive Relationships

      by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe

      One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be "If they're not your significant other, then what the hell are they?" Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don't have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here's a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting.


      1. OGBC (On-Going Booty Call)
      Sex and sex only. Whenever you're both down. For as long as you can remain essentially strangers. You've probably never seen your OGBC before midnight. Related: How Much Do You Drink On A Date
      2. FWB (Friends With Benefits)
      The most infamous of all PXRs, the FWB relationship is rarely ever as uncomplicated as either party pretends it is. The promise of a "no-strings-attached" deal with a person who you actually enjoy hanging out with is just too sweet, though. So, we keep acting like we're emotionally invincible until we ruin a perfectly good friendship. 3. TLKNG (Talking)
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    • The First Date: How To Turn Small Talk Into Real Talk

      by Scott Alden for HowAboutWe.com

      Do you go on a lot of boring dates? Dates that never really go anywhere because you never get beyond the chatty "getting-to-know-you" stuff? Is it sometimes hard to tell if you even like the person because you didn't really talk...about anything?

      Well, according to psychologist Dan Ariely, this happens because this is the way you want it.

      "We found a general trend supporting the idea that people like to maintain boring equilibrium at all costs," writes Ariely in a recent AskMen article. "When people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from."

      Related: 10 Ways To Deal With Your Partners Sexual Past

      Ariely is referring to a recent study of online daters in which he observed trends in the subject matter of messages on dating sites (which he generally found to be BOOOORING). He then forced these

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    • How Do "The Rules" Measure Up, 15 Years Later?

      By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com

      I was nine years old when The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mister Right was first published in 1995, but I still remember the buzz it caused. 15 years later, how well have The Rules stood the test of time?

      The Top Ten Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

      1. Be A Creature Unlike Any Other
      Uh, ok. How, exactly? Well, Fein and Schneider have a few suggestions for us. For example, we should try pausing between sentences! Dressing demurely! Breathing slowly! Walking briskly!

      Right. So next time you go to a bar, just wear a long skirt and a sweater, walk briskly to someone, say something, pause, take a deep slow breath, say something again, and wait for the magic to happen.

      Verdict: Ridiculous. Don't try this at home, girls.

      Related: 6 Things Girls Shouldn't Wear On A Date

      2. Show up to parties, dances, and social events even if you do not feel like it.
      If you're actively looking for someone to date (or, sure, marry, I

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