Blog Posts by HowAboutWe

Doing Small Things Now Will Save You From Divorce Later. Here's Why.By Kayt Sukel for HowAboutWe

You know the old saying: "Little things mean a lot."

The saying is rarely more true than when it comes to relationships: little things can actually do a great deal when it comes to upping your satisfaction with your partner.

Do you hold hands with your spouse while watching TV? It's been linked to the release of oxytocin-and improved relationship outcomes. Have you worked to add a little variation in the bedroom? It's been linked to happier marriages. Have you taken a course to learn how to communicate more effectively? Yep, you guessed it-that helps, too.

Plus: 12 Signs You're Probably Being Too Picky

But how do all these small interventions actually work? How is a few minutes of holding hands now doing so much to keep marriages from falling apart down the road?

Earlier this month, Eli Finkel, a social psychologist at Northwestern University, published a study in the journal Psychological Science suggesting that just 21 minutes a year can dramatically

Will you get stood up in your city?By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe

New Yorkers may be cold, abrasive snobs, but at least, at least, they are half as likely to stand someone up on a first date than the heartless flakes that reside in Los Angeles. According to a new iPhone app called "Let's Date," which surveys daters within the first 15 minutes of the date, Los Angelenos get stood up 10% of the time, a little over 5% more than the rest of the country. (Let's pause here to note that if there's anyone who deserves to be stood up, and there isn't, but if there were, it would definitely be the guy or the girl who stops to take a survey on their phone to rate their date 15 minutes in.

According to HowAboutWe data, folks on the West Coast are also way more likely to go on outdoor and fitness dates - if you've got [amazing weather], flaunt [amazing weather] - than their East Coast counterparts, who are prone to spend most of their first dates at bars.

So, all of this corroborates a theory I've been quite certain of for a long

You may have heard that White Castle, the fast food chain famous for its sacks of burgers, goes all-out for Valentine's Day. More than 400 White Castles nationwide are transformed into "Love Castles," complete with tablecloths, candles, and printed menus. So what's it really like for couples spending their Valentine's Day at this most unique of burger joints? We sent reporter Justin Silverman to survey the scene at a Brooklyn Love Castle.

Writing about sex?By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe

A new type of personal essay has emerged on blogs lately, have you noticed? It involves young, female bloggers describing their sexual encounters in graphic detail, with nearly absurd levels of emotional detachment. Cat Marnell did it for Vice. Lenina Lilic did it for Gawker, in an essay that, while not poorly written, certainly doesn't fall under the category of "daily news media and gossip." XOJane seems to have practically made it a subcategory. Describing weird sex with someone you have no affinity for is becoming a literary device.

The leitmotif of these essays is clear: look how self-aware we are of the fact that having casual sexual encounters doesn't make us feel sexy, doesn't make us feel loved, doesn't make us feel less alone. And yet we continue to do it, in an act of sexual nihilism that seems to fly in the face of our mothers' hard-fought sexual liberation. ("Sure, we can have sex whenever now. Who cares? It's meaningless.")

Plus: Guess

Valentine's DayBy Melissa Wall for HowAboutWe

Valentine's Day! Two words that evoke a tsunami of reactions, ranging from frothing hatred to fervent anticipation. Whether you cannot WAIT for Feb. 14th to shower you with velvety layers of pink goodness, or whether you find it more odious than a Kardashian mid-pregnancy sex tape, there is one inescapable truth about this controversial day: It is coming, and there is no way to stop it.

Given this fact, there is really only one path forward: we may as well enjoy the hell out of Valentine's Day, in whatever way we find most appealing. Perhaps that involves a solo last-minute trip to Aruba. Perhaps it means plunging yourself into a vat of dark chocolate. For many people planning to celebrate with a significant other (yours truly included), the day involves a good amount of stress and planning-planning what to do, planning where to go, planning how to fit said plans into your week, and then stressing about whether you're doing enough for your partner, or

Trojan Safe Rides TaxiBy Melissa Wall for HowAboutWe

Did you know that, according to Nielsen data, condoms sell better the week of Valentine's Day than any other week of the year? Trojan certainly does, which is likely why they've dubbed February National Condom Month.

Whether or not you're contributing to this mid-winter sex surplus, you can still benefit from it if you live in New York City. On Valentine's Day, three "Trojan Safe Rides" taxis will be roaming downtown Manhattan, offering free rides to anyone who's lucky enough to hail them (they will make you take a quiz about sexual health, but that's never a bad topic to learn more about). The cabs will be operating from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., and they'll be sticking primarily to Greenwich Village and the NYU main campus (so no free rides to Harlem, alas). If safe driving is your worry, fear not: a Trojan rep will administer the sex ed quizzes, so cab drivers won't be distracted (or at least, any more distracted than usual).

Plus: Don't Panic! We Have the

Brian Donovan, Author of

Brian Donovan doesn't do things halfway. When the comedian and writer, who has written for the likes of Vh1, Thought Catalog, Comedy Central and NPR, found himself single and unhappy about it, he went looking for his next love story with a vengeance. Over 100 online dates later, he emerged with enough material (and emotional baggage) to write a book. Thus was bornNot A Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters, which is currently #1 in the Love & Romance section of the Kindle Store.

Given that we have a certain pointed interest in online dating, we reached out to Brian to get the story behind the story.

For this book you went on many, many dates and had many, many bad experiences. What kept you going, made you leave the house on that 85th date? Was it the book? Was it habit? An unshakeable desire to meet your soulmate? None of the above?

I know this is the sort of preposterous thing that Tom Hanks would say to Meg Ryan in a movie and make everyone throw up in

Be a Valentine's superhero.

By Ben Pomeroy for HowAboutWe

So you've got a date for Valentine's Day. Lucky you! Now what? There's a truckload of pressure to nail this holiday, especially with someone new. The evening needs to be romantic, memorable, original, authentic-I could go on, but I'm starting to give myself a panic attack.

Let's face it, Valentine's day can be a minefield. Everything from the cheesy bouquets to the reservation scrum to the underwhelming prix fix meal. Don't get me wrong-you should do the work to honor the woman you love. But it's easy to fall into the trap of societal expectations, and wind up spending a lot of time and money to have someone else's idea of a romantic night.

Fear not-that won't be your situation this year. The best table in town on Valentine's Day will be at your apartment. It'll be memorable, unique, authentic, etc. plus no fighting for a parking space, battling the cold, dealing with slow service, or shelling out a fortune. I promise.

Plus: The Best Way