Blog Posts by BounceBack

The Texting Rules
By Elliot Yoo for BounceBack.com

Much has been said and written about the role of texting in relationships and rightly so. In today's age it is growing increasingly rare, almost impossible, to find a couple who doesn't text each other on a regular basis. But with this new form of communication comes new social rules and expectations, ones which don't always match up from person to person. Furthermore, because of the loss of things like body language and voice intonations, texting often means messages get misinterpreted and lost in translation which can lead to all sorts of unsavory problems. At the end of the day texting can be and is a useful tool, however learning when it's ok to use it, and when it's not ok, could mean the difference between a successful relationship and a botched one.

WHEN IT'S NOT OK:

1) Asking somebody out on a first date - It's true that in a lot of ways the rules of dating today have become a lot more relaxed. Many couples don't even bother officially

Holiday drinks
By Lindsay Ross for BounceBack.com

As the Holiday seasons approach and a new year is on the horizon, being single or newly single can be a bit daunting. This is a time for celebration with your loved ones, and it can be tough if there's one less loved one on this year's tally. Although you no longer have a partner, you still have your friends. A good distraction from any negative feelings manifested from a broken relationship is hanging out with these friends.

Related: Obsessing Over a Breakup? Stop! Here's How...

With life as hectic as ever during the holiday seasons, try to make it a point to personally host a night with all your closest friends. Everyone can bring an hors d'oeuvre and you can supply the most important part - the cocktails! In case you need some ideas for cocktail recipes, check out whattodrink.com.

Here are a few of our favorite holiday concoctions:

Peppermint Patty

1 oz. Peppermint Schnapps
½ oz. Dark Crème De Cacao
1 tsp

dating a super fan?
By Patia Braithwaite for BounceBack.com

It's my favorite time of year, the holiday season - and that means food, friends and the approach of playoff football. While the latter may not be exciting to everyone, I'm here to provide some tips for dealing with your favorite football fanatic.

DO...

Ask questions: I know many of us grew up hearing don't bother daddy on Sundays, but I wager that its great to ask questions. With that said, be mindful of your timing. Asking about the difference between offense and defense is more appropriate during a commercial break. If you are witnessing the final 15 seconds of a tied game, you might be better off keeping questions to yourself.

Support autonomy: For some people, football is a social event -- a time to bond with friends. If your partner likes to use this time to reconnect with pals, you should try to respect that. Use the time to do something that you love as well. We all need outside interests.

Plan for the

Monogamy is a result, not a strategy
By Erin Miller for BounceBack.com

As great as relationships can be to experience, one danger people in relationships can face is a loss in a sense of direction with the self. When there is a desire to gain perspective, it's common to seek counsel from a romantic partner, but if the relationship goes sour or if there is a difference of opinion, it's challenging to remain grounded when entwined with someone else. Monogamy can be a great result of a deep connection, but it can be a poor strategy to achieve that love and trust.

Related: Have You Been Dating In Isolation?

Here is the challenge: how can you dive deeply into a relationship with someone else, while continuing to honor yourself and evolve your consciousness?

Monogamy should be a goal that results of a deeper desire to connect and not an expectation to live up to. Having a commitment to someone isn't a bad thing, but too many times relationships are made out of choices that come from repression or false ideals about love.

You Need to Be More Selfish
By Kelli Cooper for BounceBack.com

The word ''selfish'' definitely has a negative connotation, but when we strip that away, it merely implies acting in our own self-interest. To me, this is not always a bad thing. In fact, most of the time, it is not a bad thing. We are conditioned, however, to always put ourselves last and think of others first. We are expected to make other people happy before we make ourselves happy.

Related: Feeling Down About Being Yourself? 7 Things You Should Never Apologize For

To reject this idea does not mean that we should indulge in every whim without giving a thought to how our actions affect others. It does not mean that we should screw people over just to get what we want. It is vital to make the distinction between truly hurting people with our actions and simply upsetting people because doing what we want somehow interferes with what they want. This is a distinction too few people fail to make in life and it is costing them dearly. They

stacked books
By Patia Braithwaite for BounceBack.com

Okay, perhaps "change your life," is a bit too dramatic, but - let's face it -- books are powerful. Those collections of words and thoughts can help us find answers (or, at the very least, better questions). Whether it's for you or someone you know, here are a few great books to help us answer old relationship questions and (possibly) ask new ones: 



The Power of Now & A New Earth 

By Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle is Oprah's right-hand man, but don't let that dissuade your from reading his works. One particularly difficult night, after contemplating suicide, Tolle hears a voice say "I can't live with myself." This sets him on a journey to figure out the differences between the person he is, and the person who cannot live with him. As you delve into the Power of Now & A New Earth, you begin to unravel the way our minds work against us and uncover the beauty beneath it. 



Related: Feeling Down About Being Yourself? 7 Things

What's your relationship frequency?
By Rosie Munger for BounceBack.com

"Sending a text is just not that hard." I would be a wealthy woman if I had a dollar for every time a female friend or I have said this in conversation, usually in a tone of frustration. To many of us - men and women - it seems pretty straight-forward: if you're interested, then communicate with me! However, especially in between the first few dates, interpreting the timing and regularity of communications can be tricky.

When asked whether the frequency of contact was an indicator of interest, Rich was succinct: "The more they make contact the more they are interested. No argument." Ellen agreed, also adding that directness is an indicator as well. "When Adam and I first met, he would said 'I will give you a call tomorrow morning at 11.' That was before our first date. No misreading anything there." Adam had been instantly taken with Ellen and he wanted her to be sure about his intentions.

Now, please don't fret if the person you're

Spending Holidays Alone?
By Sarah Rae for BounceBack.com

So you waited and waited, but alas, you never got your invite to spend the holidays with your partner and their family. There are many reasonable explanations, from a crisis in the family to creepy Uncle Ray and his infamous drunk Santa routine.

Of course, your mind always wants to assume: There must be something wrong with the relationship. Time to hit the brakes before the whole thing derails. What might have been going on in your partner's head?

Here are a few things to consider:

• Their family is crazy. This is why most people hesitate to bring a partner home for the holidays. You might think that if they were serious about you they would dive headfirst into incorporating you into their family. But crazy families scare away potential soul mates. Having a crazy one of my own, I know that I wanted to lay a very good foundation before my aunts and uncles met my partners, whether they were serious relationships or not.

• Your