Blog Posts by BounceBack

The world is divided into two groups of people: those who think it's OK to date a friend's ex, and those who believe it's completely off-limits. When you and your friend are both in the "OK" camp, it can work if they date your ex, or you theirs. When you and your friend are both in the "off-limits" camp, it's great - it simply doesn't happen, because you both agree it's not a good move.

However, when you're in different camps, and a friend dates your ex (or vice versa), this can lead to big trouble - anything from awkward social interactions to permanent rifts within groups of friends. While many would say the ideal solution is to avoid run-ins completely, in many cases it's just not possible, especially when there are overlapping friends, locations, and events. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to be prepared.

(*A note here: of course, there are varying degrees of seriousness - a former fling may be less of a big deal than a serious relationship, and if we're talking

By Samantha Scholfield, BounceBack Dating Expert

Dating is hard. It's also annoying, self-esteem crushing, and time-consuming. But it can also be amazing, self-confidence boosting, and simply so much fun. Dating is about more than just finding a partner - it's a good way to meet new people, work on your social interaction and communication skills, and experience new things.

When you begin dating again after a relationship ends, it's very easy to bring residual thoughts and actions from the past to the forefront, which can often keep that tiny spark from igniting into something more. Here are 5 common mistakes that we make in dating, yet don't even realize we're making them:

1. Tunnel vision.

Don't limit your dating pool to your normal "type." Branch out of your dating comfort zone and give a chance to those you haven't previously considered (think age, looks, profession, location). You just might be surprised as to whom you meet and fall for.

2.

By Samantha Scholfield, BounceBack Dating Expert

After a bad breakup, there is a natural inclination to go for the opposite of whatever personality type / habits / profession / appearance you were just dating. After all, if it didn't work with your ex, finding someone else who shares none of their attributes seems like a good bet. As I discovered, taking this to heart can often lead to non-ideal results.

I once went out with this guy who was extremely artistic. He played the guitar and was the lead singer is his band. He painted. He would write poetry. He wore flip flops year round. He was, in a word and at that time in my life, pretty much perfect. Unfortunately for me, his artistic nature also came along with a propensity to completely disregard plans and live entirely spontaneously, including spontaneously meeting and going out with other girls who also thought he was perfect. I figured out pretty quickly that this wasn't going to work for me.

In response to Mr.

Thanks to today's technology, it's easier than ever to reach out and touch someone. Send an email. Call a cell phone. Send a text. Post a message on their Facebook wall. Anything short of telepathy is possible.

Having so many communication methods can be a problem when it comes to a breakup. It can be too easy to stalk an ex through Facebook, leave angry text messages or accidentally drunk dial your ex's number. Post breakup, it's important to cut all technical ties with your ex to avoid accidental communication and help create space moving forward.

Here are some links that must be severed as a first step to getting over your breakup:

Phone - This is an easy one. Keeping your ex's phone number within close reach can lead to disaster. Drunk dialing is an all-too common side effect of one too many beers or bottles of wine post breakup. The messages you leave, or conversations you have, can be very embarrassing come morning. Alcohol aside, who hasn't accidentally dialed the

Berger's breakup Post It on A breakup is a serious, earth-shattering moment that in most cases leads to a long road of emotional recovery. So, why did Berger think it was even REMOTELY OK to break up with Carrie Bradshaw... on a Post-It? Guess what Berger - it wasn't. And it's still not.

Before we get to our Top 10, let's acknowledge first that there are serious long-term marriages and relationships that end horribly, with lying, infidelity, abuse, and even breaking the law - and that those breaks are significantly more intense than what we're talking about here. This list covers the ways to break up with someone that movies are made of, the ones that you can pass along to friends with the "can you believe!!!???" disclaimer, and the ones that hopefully, someday, you'll look back on and laugh about.

We asked our BounceBack members, who have been through some of the worst breakups and divorces we've ever seen, to tell us the worst ways they've been left to pick up the pieces and move on.

Some stories

January and the New Year have always been about making resolutions, and the arrival of Spring is no different. Spring is and has always been about renewal, rebirth, and welcoming the new - and we can't do that unless we create space by removing the old, the negative, the stagnant... hence the phrase "Spring Cleaning." And it's more than just cleaning house - this is a time to clean our bodies and minds as well.

We only have a certain amount of space in our minds, hearts, and even our schedules. When we spend our time thinking, doing and reacting to things in the past or even anticipating the future, we are not focusing on the present. Think of your mind the same way we think of our closets. There is a common rule of thumb that for every one new item of clothing you buy, you donate two items. It's even harder to follow this rule when it comes to commitments - it's hard to say "no" and often times you'll find yourself juggling a million commitments at one time. This approach,

You know the scene: You've just been through a breakup or divorce. You walk into your house and the first thing you see are your ex's shoes by the door. Raise your eyes and there are the photos. Her toothbrush is next to the bathroom sink. His favorite beer is in the fridge.

If you're dealing with a fresh heartbreak, it can be tempting to leave traces of your ex around. For one thing, it sustains us in a state of denial, and denial feels safer than reality. The day we take her clothes out of the closet, we're admitting that it's over; it's a gesture heavy with the symbolism of an ending that we believe we cannot bear. The familiarity of these reminders is also comforting in an odd, backwards way. Mostly we know that we've lost him, but having a photo of him on the nightstand helps us feel as if we haven't lost him entirely, not yet.

But here's the thing: it's hard enough that non-material reminders of the ex are all around - in restaurants, mutual friends, TV shows.

Written by BounceBack Dating Expert Samantha Scholfield

After a break-up or any other sort of change in your life, how you feel about yourself is one of the things that can take the biggest pummeling. To start putting power back in your piggy bank of self-esteem, try any (or all!) of the things on this list. You get bonus points for doing something you haven't tried before or that you're slightly nervous about, because every time you successfully do something outside of your comfort zone, you're reminded that you CAN do it and that you're a capable, kick-ass human being.

If you're feeling like flying solo to a class, retreat, trip, whatever, you get the added benefit of putting yourself in a situation to meet some great new people, which is always a plus when you feel a hole in another part of your life. If you're feeling social, bring a friend or five along and get reminded of the good things: great friends, laughter, sunshine. When you go away for a weekend and