Blog Posts by Redbook

Here, your words for the shortcuts that make modern motherhood possible. June Cleaver is rolling; we're laughing!

Dunch: (noun) When you give your kids lunch so late, it might as well be dinner.

meTunes: (noun) Listening to whatever you want as loud as you want because it's your damn car. (So what if your son can sing along to that wildly inappropriate new Eminem song?)

Cupfakes: (noun) Buying store-bought treats for your kid's class birthday, then roughing up the icing so they look homemade.

Wardrobe momfunction: (noun) When you drive your kid to school in your pajamas, wearing no bra, and the perfect skinny-jeaned PTA mom (aka: a "mompetitor") leans in to chat about the bake sale.

Swathing: (verb) Considering your kids' dip in a swimming pool as their bath for the day.

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In high school there was a girl I became best friends with, and we remained close all through school and after graduation. Then, in 1999, she and her husband were involved in a horrible vehicle accident, which left her paralyzed, with limited use of her arms and hands. I was devastated but never stopped being her friend. I visited her in the hospital as much as possible, and we talked on the phone a lot. But she'd never come to my house, and we never went out to do things. I always had to go to her house to visit, and with my young kids, that was sometimes hard. Eventually, we drifted apart. I feel guilty for letting our friendship die, but it can't just be one-sided. We haven't seen or spoken to each other in about four years, and I miss her. Is there hope for finding that friendship again?
A.Z., 35, Ossian, IA


Related: How to Handle a Mompetitor


You won't know unless you try. It sounds as if you were good friends, and as if you really did make an effort. After her accident, I'm

By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

DEAR WHYS GUY:

My boyfriend and I are taking a break. My question is, should I have make out with my boyfriend or have sex with him even though we are not exactly official, or should I give him the space he wants?

Related: The 18 Most Annoying Male Habits Explained

DEAR REDBOOK READER:

The guy in me wants to say yes. The decent person in me says no, no, no. If you keep giving it up with no expectation of commitment, then he won't feel obligated to ever be committed to you again, and it will be very hard to reestablish those boundaries. You're basically turning yourself and the relationship into a booty call thing. However, if you know the relationship is going south and you're just kinda horny, then, by all means, go for it. In short, don't try to win him back with sex, but if you want to have sex with the man for purely physical reasons and you don't really care about rebuilding, then go for it.

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I have a wonderful husband of 14 years - along with wonderful in-laws. But over the last couple of years, a problem has developed: My in-laws show up unannounced on weekends and stay for hours, oblivious to whatever activity we may be in the middle of or have planned. They don't even wait for us to answer the door! Early one Saturday, my mother-in-law came in and almost caught me in the kitchen in my underwear. If we aren't home, they'll often go sit on our patio until we come back. Even better, one weekend my husband and I left to run some errands. When we came home, my sister-in-law was in the kitchen reading a magazine! She has a spare key for emergencies, but I was shocked and extremely irritated! I love that people feel comfortable in our home, but this is getting ridiculous. How should I handle it? - E.S., 40, Wenatchee, WA

Related: How to Handle a Mompetitor


Just because you genuinely like your in-laws doesn't make your house the 24-hour drop-in center. On the other hand, just

by Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

Girls and boys are different - you might have heard? After having three boys and then a girl - I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't totally thrilled - I am amazed at how truly different they are. But I'm also amazed at some of the ways people point out these differences and try to use them to put down my boys.Just as it has become socially acceptable to make fun of men in ways that would never be tolerated if they were targeted toward women, it seems that some people think it's okay to attribute bad quirks to my boys' gender. I tried hard - honest I did! - to keep this post light and funny like my usual Top Ten lists are but I found as I typed this out that it struck a deep chord with me. Here's my list of Top Ten Things to Never Say to a Mom of Boys:

1. "This is my daughter Ryan." Taylor, Jordan, Charlie, Sam, Jo - stop taking all the boys names and making them into girls names! While it is cute and precocious to have a Myka (Micah)

By Ava Feuer, REDBOOK

A marriage and family therapist, Carin Goldstein has more than ten years of experience helping couples. But, she thinks that Prince William and Kate Middleton will need little assistance in weathering their marriage. Read on for five reasons the future king and queen of England will enjoy a long, happy marriage.

1. William and Kate's union is the result of a nine-year courtship, which began as a friendship when they first met in college. The length of their relationship has allowed for a true, intimate connection between the two, and is a strong contrast to the six-month courtship of William's parents.

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2. Several articles have reported that in his early 20's, William already knew that he would not marry before age 28 because he wanted to be absolutely sure of his future spouse, and not fall into the same shoes of his father. This mature perspective has not only allowed him to choose a

I've been married for 27 years. I love my husband very much, but I can't seem to get past something that happened. The other night while we were in the middle of making love, he called me by another name. Needless to say, that ended the lovemaking for the night. He has apologized over and over for doing it. He seems to be sincere, but I still can't get it out of my head. I don't think he's having an affair, but one never knows. Am I being too sensitive? What can I do to get over this? --J.S., 48, Detroit

Related: How to Handle a Mompetitor


You're not being too sensitive. Your man stuck his foot in his mouth at the worst possible moment and has shaken your trust, which is the basic foundation of the marriage. Way to go, hubster! Your shrugging this off with no thought to what it might mean would actually display a worrisome insensitivity on your part.

Related: The 18 Most Annoying Male Habits Explained

That said, I'd like to suggest that maybe it really was just an innocent slip of

by Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

Changing my son's diaper in the middle of a playdate was already tricky (Do I go in the bathroom? Use the floor? Carry the diaper out to outside garbage can?) but I hadn't considered the ramifications of changing him in front of my friend's four young daughters. As soon as the diaper came off, they all gathered around to stare (should've used the bathroom!).

"What is that?" the youngest said, pointing down.

"It's his penis," I said as matter-of-factly as I could manage.

"His what?!" exclaimed another sister as their mother motioned to me over their heads.

"We don't use that word here," she stage whispered. "We call it a 'peter'."

Now it was my turn to gasp, "His what?!" But the little girls were still waiting for my answer so I finished, "You know, the part that makes him a boy."

After a long silence the eldest said, "Well my daddy's a boy and he sure doesn't have one of those!"

I'm sure they won't understand for