By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
DEAR WHYS GUY:
My ex-boyfriend passed away yesterday at the age of 24. We were together for three years, and he was my first love. We had a very ugly break up four years ago. My now-husband (of six months) does not understand why I am upset and grieving the loss. It is creating a lot of turbulence in our new marriage. What should I do?
Related: "Why Don't I Like My Own Child?"
DEAR REDBOOK READER:
Sorry to hear about your ex. 24 is too young to go.
As for your husband, I can understand why he is upset. It must be hard to feel like you're in competition with a ghost.
Related: 30 Days to a Better Husband
Have you talked to your husband about why you're so upset? More importantly, have you asked yourself why you're so upset? Is it because he was so young? Are you sad for his family? Is it because you feel like a a door on your youth closed with his passing?
Or are you lamenting what might have been or things left unsaid?
It's fine to have all those
Blog Posts by Redbook
- Redbook | Love + Sex – Mon, Jul 18, 2011 7:26 PM EDT
By Aaron Traister, REDBOOKRead More »from Dear Whys Guy: “My New Husband Doesn’t Understand Why I’m Grieving the Death of My Ex”
By Kayla Miller, REDBOOK
Kyle, 30, and Courtney, 29, have been engaged for six months. Every once in a while, Courtney suggests they go out to dinner rather than stay in and cook. Kyle usually doesn't want to go out and would rather save money by staying in, since he usually foots the bill. Kyle reluctantly agrees to go out to dinner but thinks Courtney should pay because it was her idea. Who's right?
He says: It was her idea to go out, so why should I be paying for something that wasn't my idea? If she would pay for her meal, I wouldn't mind splitting it 50/50.
Related: What He Secretly Doesn't Want in Bed
She says: He never wants to go out anymore, so when we do, I feel like he should be the gentleman and pay for the entire meal. We're going to be married soon so isn't his money my money?
- Kyle should pay. It's tradition.
- Courtney should get with the times and offer to split the bill.Read More »from Settle an Argument: Who Should Pay for Dinner?
By Jeanie Davis, REDBOOK
A little sniffle. A slight cough. "I don't feel good," says your child. But how do you really know: Should this kid stay home, or go to school?
With cold symptoms, fever (or lack of it) helps determine the answer, says Steven Parker, MD, director of the division of behavioral and developmental pediatrics at Boston Medical Center, and an expert moderator for WebMD's message boards.
"If there's no fever, it's generally OK to send the child to school," Parker tells WebMD. "It's likely a cold, and school is probably where your child got it in the first place. If your child feels pretty good otherwise, then it's fine to send the child to school."
But when in doubt, Parker says you should always call your pediatric provider for advice.
Also, if your child frequently claims to be "sick" but is fine on weekends, that's a sign of other issues. "There may be trouble at school," heRead More »from Your Child: Too Sick for School?
By Judith Newman, REDBOOK
There's a good chance that your child is, right now, making his own Harry Potter broomstick out of a stick he found in the backyard...and he might prefer it to the pricey vibrating plastic version you were thinking of buying him. Childhood experts and those who have studied the stressed-out are weighing in on the ways we can help our children reclaim simpler pleasures. Here are a few of their suggestions for slowing down and getting a little balance back into kids' lives:
Related: 5 Dresses Every Woman Should Own1. Embrace the joy of goofing around. If you live in an area where you can let your child run amok with his friends outdoors, let him; if you don't, remember that just hanging with friends and neighbors indoors can be great too. I've recently adopted an open-door policy with the parents and kids in my building: The result sometimes necessitates that I wear earplugs and swill wine on a Saturday afternoon when the hordes descend, but the Read More »from 6 Ways to Let Your Kids Be Kids
Books? Check. Backpack? Check. Pens, pencils, paper, markers, binders, etc.? Check. Feng Shi? Checcccccc...What? That's right. Your back-to-school list isn't complete until you've added Fortune and Luck to the mix. All children are affected by their environment, so a room arranged with feng shui in mind will certainly help contribute to a positive and well-adjusted kid. And isn't that exactly what we wish for when the proverbial bell is about to ring in a new school year?
Related: 13 Picks to Perk Up Your Family RoomRead More »from 5 Ways Feng-Shui Makes a Better "Back-to-School"
The following are some ideas that can and will impact your children's study habits, their feelings of fitting in, and their sense of security. Raise their GPA and their "chi" at the same time!
1. One of the best ways to help them assimilate into a brand-new environment (and life stage) is to create a scent-ual reminder of home and family. Start adding lavender and chamomile essential oils to their bath water, their laundry loads, and even
By Lindsey Palmer, REDBOOK
New friends, new teachers, new routines-making the transition from the lazy days of summer to the school year is chaotic for your kids and for you. Get back into the swing of things with fresh ideas from fellow REDBOOK moms who've been there, done that.
Related: 43 Ways to Look Younger
GET YOUR KIDS PSYCHED!
"Two weeks before school begins, I print up small posters with numbers counting down the days, and my kids help me decorate them. On certain days I have events planned: 14 days to go is school shopping day, 12 days to go is a special craft project, 10 days to go is an outing to the amusement park, eight days to go is a visit to the library to get a book for the school year, and so on. With all the fun anticipation, the kids get increasingly excited for the big day to finally arrive."-Jacqueline Mellor, 44, Casselberry, FL; mother to Brandon, 24, Cameron, 20, and Dylan, 11Read More »from 4 Ways to Ease The Transition for Back-to-School
Here, moms of kids with autism describe how they set their child up for success.Read More »from Smooth the Transition to School
41, mother of Ben, 10; Charlotte, NC
"New places and people made Ben anxious. So the summer before he started school, we toured the grounds many times, went to the playground, and walked through the hallways and lunchroom. I also arranged for Ben's teacher to tutor him twice a week before his program officially began, so he'd be familiar with her."
Related: 5 Dresses Every Woman Should Own
29, mother of Arianna, 7; Chicago
"Arianna had to transfer to a different school for prekindergarten. The idea of being surrounded by unfamiliar kids on the bus to school stressed her out. Since listening to loud music at home often calmed her down, I gave her a portable CD player with headphones to use on the bus. When she needed to, she would just rock out to her favorite music."
Related: 9 Ultimate Family Road Trips
38, mother of George, 7; Wellesley, MA
by Amy C. Balfour, REDBOOKRead More »from 3 Things Your Kid's Teacher Needs from You
The best way to ensure your child has a successful school year? Cultivate a positive relationship with her teacher.
Sneakers are tied, cowlicks are tamed, and a morning snack is tucked safely inside the backpack. Your smiling, well-scrubbed child seems happy, poised, and ready to meet his teacher. The question is, are you? Should you mention that patch of poison ivy creeping up his elbow? What about those medical forms - admit that you lost them? And what if your boss calls while you're powwowing - should you take the call? It's no wonder you're nervous: Your kid's teacher is the one person who spends almost as much time with your child as you do, so you want to make a positive connection. Apples, shmapples - there are five core values that will make or break your bond with your kid's teacher. Here's how to understand and maximize them.
Related: 5 Outfits Guys Secretly Hope You'll Wear
It may sound obvious, but participating in your kid's
- Redbook | Parenting – Thu, Jul 14, 2011 5:10 AM EDT
By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK
Harry Potter is as real in our house as Grandma who lives 4 states away. I came to the series late; I waited until the 7th book came out before starting the series and then read the entire thing in a week. Since then I've read it to my kids, with my kids and now my 8-year-old just finished the books on his own. But while we regularly yell "Wingardium leviosa!" at each other (hasn't worked yet but you never know), we won't be in the audience for the last movie. Why? I like to keep my kids culturally clueless, cuts down on teen pregnancy later in life. Kidding! My kids, 8, 7, 5, and 1, are too young. I may be the last parent on the planet who thinks kids should be 13 to see a PG-13 movie but there you go.
And then there's the issue that just like any adored relative, there are still some things I don't want my kids to learn from the boy under the stairs.
1. Snogging. I know it'sRead More »from Top 10 Things I Hope My Kids DON'T Learn From 'Harry Potter'
By Beth Kobliner, REDBOOKRead More »from 6 New Ways to Tame Credit Card Debt
Here's what credit card companies can and can't do-and what you must know to reduce your costs and protect your credit rating.
1. Don't take a hike. They can't raise interest rates on debt you've already racked up. The one exception: They can hike rates on these existing debts if your payment is more than 60 days late.
Your takeaway: You must pay on time. Every time.
Related: How to Get a Better Credit Score
2. Get interested in your interest rates. If your card charges you different interest rates (say, 14 percent for existing balances, and 2 percent for balance transfers), they must apply your payments to the debt carrying the highest rates (i.e., the 14 percent) first.
Your takeaway: The faster and more you pay off, the more money you save.
Related: Fast and Free Ways to Get in a Better Mood
3. Be punctual or be punished. They can't raise your rates if they find out you've been late on other credit cards or loans.
Your takeaway: A slipup on one bill