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Amazing advice from real married couples and people who have seen, studied, and lived really good love. By Brittany Burke and Melissa Walker, REDBOOK.
Don't try to change what you fell for
"Remember that every trait you love about your mate has a corresponding not-so-lovable flip side. So if you adore them for thinking outside of the box, don't beat them over the head for not fitting in with the Joneses. Embrace what's unique. That's worth more than all the Joneses in the world." --Kerry Ehrin, writer and producer for NBC's Parenthood and Friday Night Lights
Cut the apron strings, already
"After 30 years of helping couples buy and sell real estate, I've learned that how involved the in-laws are is a good predictor of happiness. If either spouse listens to their parents' opinion instead of their partner's, I know I'll get that house back as a new listing soon, when the divorce is final." --Barbara Corcoran, real estate mogul
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By Kayleigh Donahue, REDBOOK.
1. Shampoo before you dye. The old idea that it's best to color your hair when it's dirty? Not true. Whether you're hitting the salon or coloring at home, "dye will absorb best when hair is freshly washed, so there are no oils or product buildup standing in its way," says colorist Rita Hazan, who works with Jessica Simpson.
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2. Wash less often--but with the right stuff. Every time water seeps out of your strands' cuticles, it takes dye molecules with it, resulting in dulled-down color. Now, shampoos and conditioners for color-treated hair are targeting this very problem--like the new formulations of John Frieda Sheer Blonde, Brilliant Brunette, and Radiant Red color-protecting shampoos and conditioners ($6.50 each). The shampoos help trap water molecules before they can do any damage, while the conditioners contain a special silicone that locks dye in and water out.
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Skipping family dinner and talking about money in front of your kids are nothing to feel guilty about, says Bruce Feiler, author of The Secrets of Happy Families. Let's move on from these supposed mommy-musts. By Ava Feuer, REDBOOK.
Parents should devise punishments
You're the adult, and you're in-charge, but that doesn't mean that families should be dictatorships. "There's abundant research that shows nothing is run top-down anymore - not companies, not sport teams, nothing," says Feiler. When children pick their own rewards and punishments, they learn to take ownership over their actions, which is ultimately what you, the parent, want. Feiler's family holds a weekly meeting at which they vote on a few things to work on during the week ahead. Recently, they decided that everyone should get a reward for not yelling - more minutes of iPad time - and a punishment for not listening - less iPad time. "Our kids are actually stricter than we are, and that's a common thing," he says. "We're
Since we have neither the time nor money to visit a spa every week, we rounded up the next best thing: insiders' secrets to capturing that special glow at home. By Holly Corbett, REDBOOK.
Make your own kitchen-cabinet exfoliant
Skin-cell turnover slows as you age, potentially causing your face to look dry or washed out. Combat that by mixing up this easy, at-home exfoliating cleanser twice a week: Combine 1 tablespoon superfine sugar (to help slough off dead skin cells), 1 tablespoon pure olive oil (to moisturize), and 1 tablespoon honey (this cleansing ingredient has anti-microbial properties to kill pimple-causing bacteria), says Ann Taylor, an aesthetician at the Spa at Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz, NY. "Apply with gentle, circular motions for two to three minutes, rinse with warm water, and follow with your favorite hydrating cream," says Taylor.
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Supplement with D3
Many people who are low in this vitamin, a shortage
13 million American children will be bullied this year. We all want to stop it, and these women prove that we can. By Alison Storm, REDBOOK.
Bullies will only do what bystanders allow: Houston mom Trish Morille saw this firsthand when her daughter was in elementary school. "We ran into some of her classmates at a park," Trish, now 50, recalls. "One girl called my daughter mean names. The others started piling on insults. The adults looked away: No one said anything! We left the park--and the bullying eventually ended--but I wish I'd known the best way to help my child." Ten years later, in March 2010, when harassment drove a local second-grader to jump off a school balcony, Trish and her friend Sarah Fisher sprung to action. "It was our wake-up call," says Sarah, 48. The two moms created +Works (which stands for Positive Works, positivethinkingworks.org), a nonprofit that runs an anti-bullying program in schools. Kids and adults learn that bullying is more than the mean kid on the
Telling Vogue that your 1-year-old is your best friend, as Beyonce just did, is definitely the diva version of wearing half of one of those "Best Friends" necklaces. (Celebs: Not really like us.).
I'm going to assume, given Blue Ivy's status as, you know, a baby, that Beyonce means she loves that kid, that there's no one else she'd rather see at the end of the day, that this little girl, above all other people, makes her mom smile. (Hey wait! Celebs: They are like us.) She doesn't mean that Blue Ivy is the person who she turns to for advice, who she cries to when she's upset (mean lip-synch haters), or who she goes out with after a great day at work (see: the Superbowl). Right? Because I'm sure Blue Ivy is amazing, but I'm not sure I'd trust a toddler's opinion on eyeliner.
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Someday, though, like when Blue Ivy can actually talk, Beyonce might rely on her daughter for any or all of those things. And if that happens when this little girl is
Your former husband doesn't have to be your best pal, but thanks to a shared history and intertwined future as parents, it's worth working to replace screaming matches with civility. By Holly Corbett, REDBOOK.
Acknowledge your pain
In order to move on, you have to let yourself feel the loss and grief of divorce. "Befriending your ex is a process and a relationship that takes time and effort," says Judith Ruskay Rabinor, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of, Befriending Your Ex After Divorce. "It's about starting over and making a conscious, effort to let go of past hurts, wounds, and beliefs." In addition to talking things out with a therapist or loved one, Dr. Rabinor recommends listing in a journal the many losses you're facing. (Think: loss of financial support, loss of a partner to lean on, loss of your ex's extended family). Naming your losses helps you process the pain by understanding all of its parts more clearly, says Dr. Rabinor.
Try some anger management
Divorce can
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It happens - the baby cried all night; your husband refused to stop snoring; worrying about a friend kept you awake. But thanks to these expert tips, no one has to know that your snooze-time was seriously compromised. By Ava Feuer, REDBOOK.
Get moving
Exercise may be the last thing you feel like doing when you're dragging, but even six-to-ten minutes of aerobic moves and stretching can increase blood flow and circulation to the face, says celebrity dermatologist Dr. Ava Shamban. "You're going to get some warmth up there and get a little bit of blush going." Knee lifts, jumping jacks, and sit-ups followed by a few downward dogs are just what the doctor ordered.
Banish under-eye bags
"Caffeine is amazing to help reduce under-eye puffiness because it's a natural diuretic, meaning that it pulls fluid out of your system," says Dr. Shamban. To give your skin a jolt, store tea bags seeped in water in a Ziploc bag in your fridge, and apply to eyes for approximately 20 minutes. Then, return
