Blog Posts by Redbook

My husband of three years and I separated six months ago. After a lot of debate, I've decided to start dating again. We won't technically be divorced until New Jersey tells us we are, so is it wrong for me to put myself out there? - A.J., 32, Freehold, NJ

Related: How to Have a Better Relationship


It's not wrong if you're upfront about your situation. If you meet someone you like, you owe it to him to let him know that you're separated but not divorced. This gives him the chance to decide whether he wants to continue seeing you. Even if you feel 100-percent certain that the divorce will happen, the other person has to decide for himself if he's comfortable with that.

Related: The 18 Most Annoying Male Habits Explained

As for your own mental state, keep the debate going. You may start dating and think, Wait, maybe I'm not ready for this. You can change your mind. Almost all of life's big transitions involve three steps forward and two steps back. Keep this in mind as you start to

by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

DEAR WHYS GUY:

I've been talking to a guy for two months and seeing him for a month. He seems very interested and has sent me lunch and flowers, picked me up from work, and driven hours to my company and home just to see me or give me a kiss. The problem is that he only comes to my 'hood. He never takes me to his work, home, or even neighborhood. He lives in Manhattan, and I live in Brooklyn. Is he hiding something? -Janie

Related: How to Have a Better Relationship

DEAR JANIE :

If it's only been a month of dating, I wouldn't sweat it too much. A month is nothing when you're getting to know someone. After a month of hanging out with my wife Karel, I don't even think she knew my last name. But even though there were huge gaps in our knowledge about each other, it all worked out, and we were married a year after we met.

Related: The 18 Most Annoying Male Habits Explained

But it feels a little like you're asking me to see the future, and as my bookie, Angry

by Nicole Yorio, REDBOOK

Half the battle of having a hot date night is actually having a date night at all. Here's how to make it happen.

1. Snag a sitter - fast. Mom's busy, your standby teenage neighbor has a new boyfriend - now what? Go to sittercity.com or seekingsitters.com. Both sites post reviews from other parents and list babysitters who have CPR training. Or call your local YMCA to ask about nighttime programs for school-age children.

Related: How to Have a Better Relationship

2. Have "dessert" first. If you tend to conk out after dinner, have sex before your date, suggests Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women. Ask the sitter to arrive early so you can "get ready." "It'll relieve the will-we-do-it tension," he says. "And men feel more connected and talkative after sex." Women too!

Related: Get-Close Secrets for You and Your Guy

3. Cure we-can't-afford-it syndrome. Skip the pricey dinner and do coffee and dessert instead, suggests Lindsey

by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

DEAR WHYS GUY:

Do guys really think women look better without makeup? - Redbook reader

Related: How to Have a Better Relationship

DEAR REDBOOK READER:

I really do think women look better without makeup. However, when Karel read this, she told me I had no idea what I was talking about, and that what I think is "no makeup" is actually "natural makeup." I'm not sure what natural makeup involves, but Karel is probably right on this one.

Related: Get-Close Secrets for You and Your Guy

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Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at redbook@hearst.com with Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.

More from REDBOOK:

• 18 Most Annoying Male Behaviors Explained
  

My husband is very handy and will do anything for anyone - except at home. I understand that he works hard and is tired at the end of the day. So am I, but I still fix dinner and do laundry, etc. I don't ever ask him to help with the housework, but I do ask him to do little fix-its. He always tells me he'll do it Saturday, then never does. It's very annoying that he won't ever help out. How can I let him know how much this bothers me in a tactful way? - S.H., 28, Salt Lake City

Related: How to Have a Better Relationship


Forget letting him know that it bothers you. He already knows. He knows and, I hate to say it, he doesn't much care - because whatever little fix-it you want him to do, there's always going to be another one down the pike. Unless the house is on fire, there really is no reason for him to hop to. The only thing that has a prayer of working is to turn your way of thinking completely around. Forget what he doesn't do and focus on what he does do.

Related: The 18 Most

by Jessica Smith, REDBOOK

Asparagus is one awesome veggie! At only 4 calories per stalk, asparagus is high in vitamins A, B and C, and also contains potassium, which can help counter sodium in the body, says Christen Cooper, a Registered Dietitian and owner of Cooper Nutrition and Communications in Pleasantville, New York.
Not to mention, did you know that asparagus is also presumed to be an aphrodisiac as well?
Get cooking with asparagus today with our top 5 favorite recipes:

1) Quick Asparagus Crêpes An elegant way to serve the stalks, these crepes are delicious and will impress guests (but are super quick and easy to make).

2) Asparagus Tart Turn asparagus into the main course with this quiche-like recipe.

3) Asparagus and Gruyère Omelet Add a vitamin boost to your typical egg breakfast with this elegant omelet.

4) Thai Salmon with Roasted Sesame Asparagus Sex up your asparagus side dish with this delish recipe..

5) Prosciutto-Wrapped Asparagus This delicious combo of

I have been with my husband for 17 years. We have a teenage son and a great relationship. For the last five months I have been talking to a coworker (he's also married) who works in a different state. At first it was harmless flirting, then calls and texts, then petting during work-related visits to each other's branches. I just got back from a trip to his office. This time things went further than we expected, and it shocked us both. We started to have sex, but about two minutes in, the reality hit us and we stopped, swearing it would never happen again. I don't understand what is going on. I adore my husband and don't want to leave him. But I cannot get past being so desired by someone that it defies all we know is right. I am not speaking to this man anymore on a personal level - strictly business - but how do I make sure this doesn't happen again? Is something missing from my marriage? Why am I not feeling more remorse? Please help.
- R.H., 37, Dallas

Related: How to Have a Better

by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

DEAR WHYS GUY:

Why won't men say they're sorry? "I'm sorry you're upset" doesn't count! - Redbook reader

Related: How to Have a Better Relationship

DEAR REDBOOK READER: We're stubborn. Saying sorry is admitting we're wrong and that we take responsibility for whatever is blowing up in our relationship or our life. In fact, the wronger I know I am, the less likely I am to say, "I'm sorry." Chalk it up to the "man of the house" hangover, but many of us still struggle with the idea that our word is no longer the final word. We are a generation of guys who saw that our grandfathers, and in some cases our fathers, never had to apologize to their wives for anything, even when it was obvious to everyone they were wrong. Progress is hard. Um, sorry.

Related: Get-Close Secrets for You and Your Guy

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Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer