I don't know about you, but when I'm worried about money, it's really hard for me to focus on anything else, whether it's work, my friendships, or my relationships. In fact, I spent this past weekend knee-deep in receipts and credit card statements, determined to get a better hold on my finances-and sticking to a budget. I made some cuts, including cancelling my gym membership and relying on the kindness of free passes given out by health clubs, deals offered by yoga centers, and good old-fashioned pavement pounding.
With my finances in such a flux, it's almost a relief to NOT be in a relationship. So many of my married friends are having money meltdowns on a daily basis-and they're not alone. Apparently, 23% of couples say they work together to plan their financial lives.
But, there is hope. Here, six ways to make sure your relationship isn't ruined by finances.
1. Go for a goal
Figuring out your financial goals may sound daunting, but it's nothing to dread: Sit down regularly to
Blog Posts by Redbook
- Redbook | Work + Money – Mon, Aug 3, 2009 10:02 PM EDT
I don't know about you, but when I'm worried about money, it's really hard for me to focus on anything else, whether it's work, my friendships, or my relationships. In fact, I spent this past weekend knee-deep in receipts and credit card statements, determined to get a better hold on my finances-and sticking to a budget. I made some cuts, including cancelling my gym membership and relying on the kindness of free passes given out by health clubs, deals offered by yoga centers, and good old-fashioned pavement pounding.Read More »from Economy Getting You Down? 5 Ways to Keep Money Stress Out of Marriage
- When the officer asks if you know why you were pulled over, feign ignorance. Admitting your blunder only gives him confirmation that he should write you a ticket.
- Avoid the classic traffic excuses. Stay away from old standbys like "I'm late for work," "I was following the flow of traffic," or "I have to go to the bathroom." He's heard them - and ignored them - a thousand times before.
- Create a human connection with the officer. "You only have a small window of time to turn on the schmooze - and that's from the moment the officer approaches your car to the time he returns to his vehicle with your license and registration," says Wallace. Use that interval wisely: "Look the officer in the eye and give an explanation that evokes empathy." Try "My child is at day care, and I have
- Redbook | Love + Sex – Wed, Jul 29, 2009 10:27 PM EDT
Everyone's got one . . . a celebrity couple crush, I mean! Whether you pine over the presidential pair of Mr. and Mrs. Obama or get fluttery over the flaming hot Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, following the ups and downs of your celeb couple crush is always fun. Personally, my favorite celebrity couple is by far Jennifer Westfeldt and Jon Hamm-even though they're anything but tabloid fodder. Super talented, super cute together, and they've been together for 10 years. . But, whether the stars you love have less-than-ideal romance records, they're still great sources to learn from.Read More »from Who's Your Fave Celebrity Couple Plus 5 Love Lessons to Learn From the Headlines
Protect Your Relationship from the Outside World
Thanks to reality TV, there are countless examples of couples that have opted to share a little TMI (too much information) with the public, from basic bodily functions (hello, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson) to the pouty he-said-she-said of every little fight.
Read more about how to stop TMI getting in the way of true love
Don't Get Blinded by Romance
Read More »from How Often Do You Do Itâ€”the Surprising Truth
Because one of my jobs is to blog about sex and relationships, I'm hardly a good control subject to answer this question. Because I think about sex a lot. Most of the time it's in the abstract-what will make a good blog article? Is that really something people can do? What?-but occasionally, my daydreams go into the hot-and-heavy territory (I used to have the dirtiest daydreams in college in my Moral Philosophy class-what does that mean?)
Click here to read about how often real women think about sex!
But, thinking about it and doing it are two different stories. And, while I'm not about to share my getting busy routine with the world, REDBOOK found plenty of women-2,500-who were! Here, the behind-the-bedroom-door truth:
How Often Do You Have Sex?
35% Once or twice a week.
5% Once a day - at least!
25% Three to six times a week.
19% Two or three times a month.
10% Once a month or less.
6% I don't have a sex partner right now.
How often would you like to have sex?
43% Three to
- Redbook | Summer Kids – Mon, Jul 27, 2009 9:28 PM EDT
I don't know-call me frisky, but I feel like there's something so liberating about the weather (finally!) being warm. From dining al fresco (even if it is just leaning up against your local ice cream shop) to being able to stargaze after the sun goes down, the great outdoors makes everything a little bigger, a little brighter, maybe even a little more romantic.Read More »from 9 Ways to Have a Summer Fling (with the guy you've already got!)
12 Things Men Find Really Romantic
Here, to get started, is a list of sexy-summer activities. What do you think? What have you done?
1. Spread out a blanket and stargaze.
2. Make out in the back row of a movie theater.
3. Share a milk shake.
4. Get cozy in a rowboat at the local lake.
5. Steal away for a park-bench lunch together on a workday.
6. Enjoy carnival games on the boardwalk (then have some fun under the boardwalk).
7. When you get home from your day, kiss like you've been apart for a month.
8. Wear matching flip-flops.
9. Dedicate an entire day to being naked together.
Any more to add to the list?
The other day, I noticed my bank account balance seemed a little higher than usual, not down to the precipitously low number it can sometimes dip down to right before a pay check comes in. Why was this? Did I get some windfall check I didn't remember depositing? Did I have some ATM fairy-godmother helping me out?Read More »from Love Don't Cost a Thing? Really?
No. I haven't been dating.
Even if I'm only paying for a beer or a glass of wine, dating is expensive. It's cab rides and a round of drinks and buying a new just-in-case dress. It's a bagel the next morning if I've had more than two glasses of wine (whenever I drink, I need heavy carbs the next AM to even seem halfway normal) and it's grandly offering to pay.
While I've cut back in some ways-I definitely no longer get a new wardrobe for a date-the $15 manicure or the $10 taxi adds up. I've also found-and I'm wondering if this is true for you-that men are much less willing or eager to pay on a date. This is something I'm actually fine with. I know a lot of people disagree,
When I was twenty, my best friend at the time got married. Her husband was seven years older and was in the army and had just gotten back from a tour and I COULD NOT understand why she was marrying him-she was so young!Read More »from Did You Ever Let a Guy Come in the Way of a Pal?
I also felt jealous and betrayed. I was single and confused and not sure what I was doing with my life, and she was getting married and seemed so happy. I wasn't very nice to her at all, she didn't put me in the wedding party (rightfully so!) and even though I went to her wedding, I wasn't as nice as I could have been.
We lost touch after that and she moved, but our parents remained friends. She had a baby this year, and I sent her a present, she sent a thank you, and we began slowly reconnecting via e-mail.
She and I really did grow up together. We would walk to school together, would carpool, and would spend hours talking. I went on her family vacations, we worked at the same summer job-a lot of time spent together, which is why I'd like to keep that channel of
You know how in movies and TV shows, it's the girl who has the one-liner zinger, combined with a condescending glare, who ends up having a guy fall at her feet? Think Sandra Bullock's character in The Proposal. Think about the way Meredith acted toward McDreamy in the first episode of Grey's Anatomy. Think any movie that takes place in a high school. The girl every guy wants is usually the one who makes the guy cringe the most, who publicly embarrasses them, who wants it to be as obvious as possible that she does not like the guy.Read More »from Why Do we Think the B*tch Always Get the Boy?
Then, it turns out she actually does like the guy, but just doesn't know what to do with her feelings, so it comes out in a funny one-liner.
Anyway, I'm wondering-do you have any REAL-LIFE examples of when a bitchy comment, gesture, or or glare actually works as a flirting technique?
The other night, I grabbed a glass of wine with my friend Annabelle. She's smart and pretty and funny and self-assured, and has the annoying tendency of unleashing
A friend of mine recently received a semi-panicked phone call from her ex. Apparently, he'd made a pork tenderloin, and, not wanting to throw the juice or the remaining, inedible pieces of meat into the trash, threw the remnants down the toilet, flushed, and-SURPRISE-clogged it.Read More »from The Unsolvable Mysteries of the Male Mind
He tried using water to unclog the pipes. He tried using a plunger. He even tried using a coat hanger to fish the pieces of meat out (and keep in mind that this is a man who lives in an apartment that has a sink, we're not talking about someone living in a remote cabin in the woods!) and then finally, he called his ex. Who told him to call a plumber.
We love men, but-admit it-sometimes, in their quest to get things taken care of with as little fuss as possible, they can go overboard. I once dated a guy who, instead of using pillowcases, put t-shirts on his pillows. All of his pillows had little sleeves-that way, he didn't have to worry about cleaning his bed linens. Another friend of mine once dated a man who
- Redbook | Work + Money – Wed, Jun 10, 2009 5:11 PM EDT
Obviously, if you've been following this blog, you know that I'm not getting married anytime soon. But I do have a lot of friends who are currently engaged and in the process of planning their weddings, and this is a question that's recently come up in a spate of conversations-I think especially with this economy.Read More »from How do You Tell a Pal They're Not Invited to a Wedding?
How do you let a pal know that they're not on the guest list to a wedding? We're talking about the people these girls genuinely enjoy having in their lives-the office buddies, the girls they meet up with for girl's nights, the ones who are in the orbit of their social circle-but who aren't their nearest and dearest and who-especially when you add in the plus ones-bring the total guest number to over the number they're comfortable with.
It's definitely happened to me before-and I think the thing that hurt the most about not being invited was more the fact that the bride didn't tell me herself, but waited for a friend to let me know. Honestly, it IS an awkward convo, but I so