Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

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I've posted this quiz before, but because I think it's such a very helpful thing to know about yourself, I'm posting it again. Recognizing this distinction has been one of the most important insights that I've had into my own nature-more helpful, say, than understanding that I'm an under-buyer, not an over-buyer.

A piece of advice I often see is, "Be moderate. Don't have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you'll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan."

I've come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the "moderators." They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation-and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: "Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult."

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I'm

Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we're also plagued by the Pigeons of Discontent.

This week's Pigeon of Discontent, suggested by a reader, is: "No one appreciates me."

No One Appreciates Me.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…

Taken for granted? 5 tips for dealing with feeling unappreciated.

5 mistakes I continue to make in my marriage.

Why I try not to do things for others, but instead, do them for myself.

How about you? Do you often feel unappreciated or unacknowledged? How do you deal with it? Gold stars! I crave them.

You can post your own Pigeon of Discontent at any time; also, from time to time, I'll make a special call for suggestions.

You can check out the archives of videos here.

• Facebook announced that it's making changes to help encourage people to spotlight the fact that they've

dog-treatAssay: I've been thinking a lot lately about the importance of small treats, small pleasures. They're fun to experience, of course, and I think they also have a very important role to play in happiness.

When we feel depleted and drained, and when we have no time or energy devoted to the things that give us pleasure, we start to feel exhausted, resentful, and angry. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

But it can be surprisingly hard to think of what little treats you want to give yourself. So many pleasures come at a cost: cookies cost calories, movies and books take time and focus, a museum costs the price of a ticket. It's good to have a list of treats and pleasures that have a very low cost in time, energy, or money.

For instance, I've become obsessed with the sense of smell, and I love the fact that a good smell can be enjoyed in an instant, with no cost. My latest favorite "treat," which I save for moments when I need a bit of extra comfort or reassurance,

CalendarOne of my Secrets of Adulthood--perhaps counter-intuitively--is "It's often easier to do something every day than to do it some days." I post to my blog six days a week. I take notes every day. I write in my one-sentence journal every day. Many people have told me that they find it easier to exercise when they exercise every day.

If I try to do something four days a week, I spend a lot of time arguing with myself about whether today is the day, or tomorrow, or the next day; did the week start on Sunday or Monday; etc. And that's exhausting.

If I do something every day, I tend to fall into a routine, and routine has a bad reputation. It's true that novelty and challenge bring happiness, and that people who break their routines, try new things, and go new places are happier, but I think that some routine activities also bring happiness. The pleasure of doing the same thing, in the same way, every day, shouldn't be overlooked. By re-framing, you can find happiness in activities

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I just finished re-reading Paco Underhill's fascinating book, Why We Buy: The Science of Shopping. (Note: the book has been updated, but I read the first edition, so that's what I'm discussing here.) Underhill invented the "science of shopping," and he details many ways that retailers can create environments that encourage people to buy.

As I read, I realized that much of his advice could be flipped on its head, to help people resist buying. So often, we operate on habit and impulse; by recognizing the subtle factors that promote shopping, we can turn that information to our advantage, if we're trying to shop wisely.

Many of these tips are very obvious, but as one of my Secrets of Adulthood holds: It's very important, and surprisingly difficult, to grasp the obvious.

1. Don't take a basket or cart. People who shop with a basket buy much more than those who don't use a basket.

2. Don't linger. How much time you spend in a store is one of the most important

6a00d8341c5aa953ef0168ea754b1d970c.jpgA common happiness hurdle is the arrival fallacy. We think that we'll be happy once we arrive at some destination: a new job, a new apartment, a promotion, whatever. But often, arriving doesn't make us as happy as we expect.

That's very true, and I struggle to remember it, and also to remind myself of what my father says so often: "Enjoy the process." But this week I've also been reminding myself of one of my Secrets of Adulthood: the opposite of a profound truth is also true. Just as I should enjoy the process, and not wait for the happiness of crossing the finish line, I should also do the opposite, and revel in the happiness of crossing a finish line.

Too often, I don't take the time to experience the satisfaction that comes from finishing. I turn immediately to the next thing I need to do, or the next finish line I need to cross, without pausing for a little moment of triumph.

For instance, if all goes according to plan, next Monday will mark a giant finish line for

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Happiness interview: Reid Hoffman.

Years ago, when I was just starting to blog, one of the first people I met from blogland was Ben Casnocha, who wrote a great blog about entrepreneurship, books, and ideas, and who was still in college (if I remember correctly) at the time.

He does a lot of things and has a lot of interests, so I wasn't surprised to hear that he was teaming up to write a book with Reid Hoffman, the co-founder of LinkedIn, the wildly popular social network particularly useful for business connections and job searching.

Their book, The Start-up of You: Adapt to the Future, Invest in Yourself, and Transform Your Career, just hit the shelves a few months ago and has generated a lot of buzz. It's about how to think about yourself as a start-up business: to invest in yourself, to build your networks, to take smart risks, to exploit uncertainty.

Thinking about the elements of a happy life is one aspect of doing a start-up based on yourself, so I was

Google

I love a good manifesto. I love Bob Sutton's manifesto about work, and Madame X's manifesto about money, and Frank Lloyd Wright's manifesto for his apprentices.

Somehow, I'd never come across Google's Ten things we know to be true manifesto, and I found it very interesting.

The Google site explains, "We first wrote these 10 things when Google was just a few years old. From time to time we revisit this list to see if it still holds true. We hope it does-and you can hold us to that."

Very thought-provoking. Though people might disagree