Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

Stone tablet

One of the most challenging-and most helpful and fun-tasks that I've done as part of my Happiness Project is to write my Twelve Personal Commandments. These aren't specific resolutions, like make my bed, but the overarching principles by which I try to live my life.

It took me several months to come up with this list, and it has been very useful for me to have them identified clearly in my mind. It's a creative way of distilling core values.

To get you started as you think about your own commandments, here are my Twelve Commandments:

So how do you come up with your own list?

Consider phrases that have

A new Secret of Adulthood:

SofABurnEnergy

I'm really having fun with the site Pinterest, which allows you to pin the images that interest you onto a board (get it? "pinterest"). Check out the site, check out my boards. If you'd like to get an invitation to join, just email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com, and I'll send you one.

* Sign up to become a Super Fan, and from time to time, I'll ask for your help. Nothing onerous, I promise! I so appreciate the support and enthusiasm of the Super-Fans.

Turn-off-bulb

Recently I video-posted about the Pigeon of Discontent, "I can never get to bed on time." A few readers rightly pointed out that while I emphasized the importance of having a "bedtime," I didn't address the challenge of actually getting yourself to turn off the light when it's time for bed.

That's a very important question. Since I've started my Happiness Project, I've become more and more convinced that sleep is vital to happiness and energy. (Here are fourteen tips on getting more sleep.)

If you want to get more sleep, but have a hard time getting yourself to turn out the light, try these strategies:

1. First things first: give yourself a specific bedtime. Most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep every night, so take a look at your wake-up time, and do the math. Even if you don't regularly go to bed at your bedtime, knowing, "Well, it's midnight, so I'm two hours past my bedtime" might help prod you to bed.

2. Don't wait until you feel sleepy to think "Hey, maybe it's

2012 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2012 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2012 a happier year -- and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we're also plagued by the Pigeons of Discontent.

For the first month of the Pigeons of Discontent videos, my friend Maria helped me out. This was a fun experiment, but we couldn't really get that format to work properly, so I'm switching back to doing the videos solo.

This week's Pigeon of Discontent, suggested by a reader, is: "I can never get to bed on time."

Give yourself a bedtime.

See the happiness mug on the table beside me? That was a birthday present from my sister a few years ago. She finds great happiness-related gifts.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
A secret to more happiness and energy? Give

Partly as an intellectual discipline, partly for fun, I often push myself to answer tough, conclusory questions, such as "If you had to pick just one thing, what's the key to happiness?" or "What are the ten most common myths about happiness?"

The other day, I asked myself: If I had to state the central challenge of living a life of happiness, in a single sentence, what would it be? This sentence, I decided, would be a good candidate:

SofAAcceptmyself

As Flannery O'Connor observed in a letter, "Accepting oneself does not preclude an attempt to become better."

How about you? What's your suggestion for a one-line summary?

* On the BMW Guggenheim Lab, Jon Cotner writes about the Spontaneous Society, a walk he leads through New York City neighborhoods, in which participants try to promote friendly exchanges among strangers. Interesting.

* Want a happiness quotation in your email inbox every morning? Sign up for the Moment of Happiness. Subscribe here or email me at

Zenrock

Just about anyone who has ever put off a troublesome task is familiar with one of my Secrets of Adulthood: Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.

When there's some chore you just don't want to tackle, every other chore seems alluring. As a friend told me, "My apartment is never cleaner than when I have a writing assignment due."

In Roy Baumeister and John Tierney's fascinating book, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, they suggest the "Nothing Alternative" to this problem. That is, if you want to get yourself to do something, make the alternative to that task to do nothing.

This rule was inspired by the habits of writer Raymond Chandler. Chandler set aside at least four hours each day for writing; he didn't force himself to write, but he didn't let himself do anything else. He wouldn't let himself read, write letters, write checks-nothing. He summed up: "Two very simple rules, a. you don't have to write. b. you can't do anything

Clusterofballoons

In The Levity Effect: Why it Pays to Lighten Up, Adrian Gostick and Scott Christopher make an interesting argument that "levity" is an extremely effective tool for helping people to work better. An atmosphere of light-heartedness, it turns out, helps people pay attention, eases tensions, and enhances a feeling of connection.

When I read this, I thought, "Well, levity would be tough for me, I'm not particularly funny, and I'm not particularly outgoing."

But what the authors mean by "levity" is really a sense of lightness. It's less about being funny and more about being able to have fun and see the humorous side of everyday situations-especially difficult situations.

Ah, I thought, I'm trying! The Ninth of my Twelve Commandments is "Lighten up." When I posted sticky notes with key phrases all around my office and apartment, the one I put in the master bathroom read, "Tender and light-hearted."

Gostick and Christopher include a quiz about workplace levity. Looking at

Paris2

Assay: Recently, when I was rereading Gertrude Stein's The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, I was very struck by this observation about the French poet Guillaume Apollinaire:

The "quality of keeping people together" seems an important and rare attribute, and although it doesn't come naturally to me, I'm trying to do a better job of it myself, and also to appreciate more the work of the Apollinaire-ish types whose efforts benefit me.

This quality has been on my mind since the sad occasion of a memorial service of a friend. I knew her in a work context, but at the service, I realized from