Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

Are you a tortoise or a hare?

I love paradoxes, parables, koans, aphorisms, fables, and teaching stories of all kinds. Lately I've been thinking of the Fable of the Tortoise and the Hare.

In the familiar fable by Aesop, the tortoise and the hare run a race. The hare is so confident that he'll win that he takes a nap, and while he's asleep, the tortoise's regular, plodding pace allows him, the slower competitor, to cross the finish line first.

I'm not using "tortoise" and "hare" exactly as Aesop did, but it's a handy frame of reference. Here is my question: Are you a tortoise or a hare when you approach a large task?

A Tortoise prefers to work more days, for fewer hours-three hours a day for seven days. Slow and steady.

A Hare prefers to work fewer days, for more hours-seven hours a day for three days. Bursts of effort.

There's no right or wrong way, but just whatever system works better for you.

I myself am a Tortoise. I like working every day, but I

Happiness interview: Hilary Reyl.

The brilliant (and gorgeous, not that it matters) Hilary Reyl has been a friend of mine since college, and I'm thrilled that her fabulous debut novel, Lessons in French, has just hit the shelves.

It's a coming-of-age story, and all such stories touch deeply on happiness. It draws somewhat on Hilary's own adventures in France - and from her love of all things French (for instance, her husband is French).

If you'd like to read what USA Today had to say, click here-also an Oprah pick as one of "7 dreamy novels set in the most romantic city in the world."

I wanted to ask Hilary some questions that focus directly on happiness.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Hilary: Reading. Every time I give myself over to a book, I wonder why I don't do it more.

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?

This question is the crux of my novel,

Assay: With all modesty, I do think my Four Categories of Personality may be one of my finest contributions to the study of human nature. Right up there with my abstainer/moderator split and under-buyer/over-buyer distinction.

In a nutshell, under this scheme, people fall into one of four categories-Upholder, Questioner, Rebel, Obliger-depending on how they respond to external rules and internal rules.

Upholders respond to both inner and outer rules; Questioners question all rules, but can follow rules they endorse (effectively making all rules into inner rules); Rebels resist all rules; Obligers respond to outer rules but not to inner rules. To read more, go here.

I'm still refining this idea, and I'd be very interested to hear people's thoughts on my further analysis.

One important question is: what is the main desire or motivation driving the people in the four categories? Here's what I currently believe. Does it ring true to you?

Upholders wake up and think,

Happiness interview: Christine Koh and Asha Dornfest.

Two friends of mine have just come out with a terrific book, Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More by Doing Less. It's particularly thrilling for me to hold this book in my hands, because I remember talking to them about it when it was still just the beginning of an idea they were playing with. And here it is, out in the world.

It's a great guide for anyone who wants to have a happy home life, by keeping things simple, calm, and in tune with family values.

Asha is the force behind the terrific site Parent Hacks - "forehead-smackingly smart tips that help you simplify family life, save money, and have fun." Christine is the founder and editor of Boston Mamas - "a lifestyle portal for families in Boston and beyond."

I wanted to ask them both about their thoughts on happiness.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Christine: Running or some kind of physical

At the recommendation of a friend, I read Blake Snyder's Save the Cat: The Last Book on Screenwriting That You'll Ever Need. She told me that while she wasn't writing a screenplay, the book was extremely helpful for writing any kind of story.

She's right, it's a fascinating look at storytelling, and it also includes some terrific exercises to foster creativity. This kind of playful thinking is fun. It's fun to mess around with ideas, to have new thoughts, to come up with a great idea. It might even inspire you to write a screenplay or start a novel.

Blatant self-promotion: in The Happiness Project, I talk about my experience of writing a novel in a month, inspired by the book, No Plot? No Problem!, written by Chris Baty, also the founder of National Novel Writing Month. Yes, I wrote a novel as long as The Great Gatsby in thirty days. (Actually, I've written three very bad novels, all safely locked in a desk drawer.)

Sometimes creativity exercises are a bit boring -

Over the weekend, I read David Rock's very interesting book, Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long.

One strategy particularly struck me: if you're feeling a negative emotion, you can work to reduce it by labeling it in one or two words. Note, however, that thinking or talking at length about the emotional state tends to intensify it - while simply observing and labeling it helps to quell it.

I do this myself, instinctively. I find myself thinking, "I'm overwhelmed" or "I'm frazzled" or "I'm feeling defensive" - and it's odd how calming it is. Just putting a label on a feeling helps me to master it.

For those who enjoy reading about what's happening in their right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex and elsewhere, Rock explains how brain function accounts for this phenomenon.

How about you? Have you ever tried a strategy like this - and did it work?

Also ...

• Lots of great material on

Happiness interview: Richie Norton.

I heard about Richie Norton's new book, The Power of Starting Something Stupid when a friend told me about it - and what a great title, right? It reminds me of my resolution to Enjoy the fun of failure. As his book reveals, Richie has done a a lot of thinking about creativity, innovation, and risk-all of which can be important to a happy life-so I was interested to hear what he had to say.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Richie: I have to list three, because each is equally as, um, happifying- surfing, laughing with my beautiful wife, and wrestling on the trampoline with my boys. (In no particular order.)

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?

I've always had a fairly optimistic disposition, but something I've learned over the years is that while optimism is certainly important and praiseworthy, it is often superficial and lacking in

One of the patron saints of my Happier at Home project, Samuel Johnson, wrote, "It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery, and as much happiness as possible."

One "little thing" that can be a source of unhappiness is boredom. Waiting in traffic. Waiting for the subway. Doing the dishes. Waiting in a doctor's office. Listening to your thirteen-year-old talk through her different clothing options for the day.

Here are seven tips to re-frame the moment; even if you can't escape a situation, by re-framing your emotions about it, you can transform it.

- Put the word "meditation" after the activity that's boring you. (This is my invention.) If you're impatient while waiting for the bus, tell yourself you're doing "Bus waiting meditation." If you're standing in a slow line at the drugstore, you're doing "Waiting in line meditation." Just saying these words makes me feel very spiritual and high-minded and wise.

-- Dig in. As they