Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

Blowing-bubbles

My children make me happy for many reasons, of course. But it strikes me that one reason that they make me happy is that they encourage me to engage more deeply with the physical world.

Left to my own instincts, I'd drift absent-mindedly through the apartment, reading, writing, and eating cereal for dinner every night. Through my daughters, I become much more alive to ordinary pleasures-the comfort of our weirdly soft fleece blanket, the vanishing sweetness of cotton candy, the textures and colors of the Play-Doh, scented markers, and velvety pipe cleaners left scattered around the kitchen.

I'm trying to push myself to enter more deeply into childish pleasures. I love blowing bubbles, but I haven't blown bubbles in a long time. I delight in looking at new boxes of Crayons and magic markers, but I almost never do any coloring myself. I've never used our cunning set of animal stamps.

I do make good use of food dye and sprinkles, however. I use any excuse to pull out our

Carlrichards

Happiness interview: Carl Richards.

I initially got to know Carl Richards's work because he and I share the same literary agent, which creates a fellow-feeling akin to having gone to the the same high school. I was very interested in his writing (and drawing), because he often addresses the connection between happiness and money, which is one of the most complicated and emotionally charged subjects within happiness.

One thing I particularly admire about Carl is his ability to sum up large issues in simple, powerful sketches. Seeing a problem that feels very complicated distilled into a napkin-sized drawing helps me understand the essentials.

His book, The Behavior Gap: Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things with Money, has just hit the shelves. It's about the "behavior gap"-the distance between what we should do and what we actually do.

I was very interested to hear his thoughts about happiness.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you

Packing-boxes

One of my key realizations about happiness, and a point oddly under-emphasized by positive psychologists, given its emphasis in popular culture, is that Outer order contributes to inner calm. More than it should.

After all, in the context of a happy life, a messy desk or house is a trivial problem-yet I've found, and other people tell me they feel the same way, that getting control of the stuff of life makes me feel more in control of my life generally. (Even if this is an illusion, it's a helpful illusion.)

But as much as most of us want to keep our home, office, car, etc. in reasonable order, it's tough. Here are some myths of de-cluttering that make it harder than it needs to be.

Myths of Cluttering:
1. "I need to get organized." No! This is not your first step! Don't get organized.

2. "The more organized I am, the better." I fully appreciate the pleasure of having a place for everything, and perhaps counter-intuitively, I find it easier to put things away

2012 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2012 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2012 a happier year -- and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we're also plagued by the Pigeons of Discontent.

This week's Pigeon of Discontent, suggested by a reader, is: "How can I keep myself from being overwhelmed by big projects?"

Being overwhelmed by big projects.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Frustrated? Stuck? Put yourself in creativity boot camp.
Get rid of things that don't work.
Why I decided to put together a photo album that wasn't as good as it could have been.

I hope you enjoy the new format. It's still evolving, so bear with me while it's taking shape.

You can post your own Pigeon of Discontent at any time; also, from time to time, I'll make a

Before_sunrise

Assay: It has been years since I saw the movie Before Sunrise, but I often find myself thinking about a snippet of conversation from the movie. I finally went back to look up the exact words.

The movie is about two twenty-somethings (Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy) who meet on a train in Europe and the one night they spend hanging out together.

I've never forgotten this scene, because I know exactly what both of them are talking about.

On the one hand, I often have a strange feeling of dress rehearsal, of

Pileofroughdrafts

As a writer, I've learned that one of the most important things I do is to declare a project "finished." This resolution sounds easy, but I find it very, very difficult to do.

In particular, it's hard to say "Finished!" when I'm writing a book, because I love to edit. I tinker, I cut (oh, how I love to cut), I re-organize. I add more facts, more studies, more examples. I think of better choices of verbs. I put a word in, I take it out, I put it back, I take it out again. My work is very, very heavily edited. But at a certain point, I have to be finished.

In fact, I've realized there are actually several mini-finishes before the big finish.

First is "beginning, middle, end." That's when I finish the rough structure of the book. That's big.

Next is "no gaps." That's when I've filled in all the blanks, all the notes to myself to "Fix this." At this point, the book looks finished (but in fact, it will continue to change dramatically). Also, at this point, the book's

Conorgrennan

Happiness interview: Conor Grennan.

I met Conor Grennan at a book event in Canada-he was there for his book, Little Princes: One Man's Promise to Bring Home the Lost Children of Nepal, and I was there for The Happiness Project.

Conor's book-which came out in paperback this week-tells an amazing story. At age 30, when he was volunteering at an orphanage in Nepal, he realized that the children there weren't orphans, they were trafficked. He put himself on a mission to reunite these lost children with their families, and he managed to get many of them back to their families, after years of separation, fear, and privation. He also founded Next Generation Nepal, an organization that continues to help trafficked children.

That day, we had a chance to talk only for a few minutes, but I could tell that Conor had many interesting things to say about happiness, so I was very pleased to get the chance to interview him.

What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Cookie_jar

Quiz: Are you a moderator or an abstainer?

In honor of many people's New Year's resolutions-"Eat more healthfully," "Cut out sweets," "Lose weight," and the like-I'm re-posting this quiz, to help you determine whether you're a moderator or an abstainer. When I figured out that I'm an "abstainer," it helped me tremendously in terms of eating better.

Often, we know we'd have more long-term happiness if we gave up something that gives us a rush of satisfaction in the short-term. That morning doughnut, that late-night ice cream.

A piece of advice I often see is, "Be moderate. Don't have dessert every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you'll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan."

I've come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the moderators. They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying