Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

Peacock2November is National Novel Writing Month. I've never participated in the official month, but I did follow the excellent system proposed by Chris Baty in his book No Plot? No Problem! to write a novel in a month. I'm a big believer in creativity boot camp as a way to spur ideas and to get things done, and it turns out it is possible, and quite exhilarating, to write a novel in a month.

So, in honor of NaNoWriMo, I'm posting these eight writing tips from one of my favorite writers, Flannery O'Connor. Her work isn't for everyone, but I love it. In fact, I love it so much I can hardly bear to read it -- does that ever happen to you?

O'Connor's collected letters have been published in The Habit of Being. These letters are fascinating, and among other thing, include some interesting advice and observations about writing. O'Connor was a very idiosyncratic person, and this advice is idiosyncratic, which makes it more interesting than a lot of writing tips that I see collected.

1.

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month's theme is Gratitude, and last week's resolution was to Follow a threshold ritual. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week's resolution is to Make the positive argument.

Thanksgiving-dinner

For many people, the holidays are a joyous time; other people dread them. If you anticipate that you might have to spend time with difficult relatives, here are some strategies for keeping family dinners pleasant:

1. Before you walk into the situation, spend a few minutes thinking about how you want to behave. Don't just react in the moment; consider how you want to act. If you've had unpleasant experiences in the past, think about why they were unpleasant and what you could do to change the dynamics of the situation. You may just need to be more careful about getting enough sleep or giving yourself more travel time. If you want a peaceful dinner, think about how to contribute to a harmonious atmosphere. In particular…

2. Think about how topics that seem innocuous to you might upset someone else. You may think you're showing a polite interest, but some questions will rub a person the wrong way: "So do you have a boyfriend yet?" "When are you two going to get married/start a

Jars

One thing I've noticed about happiness: for me, and for most people, outer order contributes to inner calm. More than it should. In the scope of a happy life, a messy desk or an overstuffed coat closet is a trivial thing, yet I find -- and I hear from other people that they agree -- that getting rid of clutter gives a disproportionate boost to happiness.

If having a home, office, garage, car, or yard filled with clutter is such a drag on our happiness, why do we put up with it? There are many reasons, and having a clearer understanding of why you have clutter helps show you how to attack it.

Test yourself. Do you find yourself repeating these phrases, to justify keeping something that you don't use or don't even particularly like?

• Someday, I might need this
• This thing is so useful that someday I'll find a way to use it
• This thing is so useful that I can't just throw it away, but I don't know how to get it into the hands of someone who would want it
• This

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! Last month's theme was the Five Senses, and last week's resolution was to Hug more, kiss more. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This month's theme is Gratitude, and this week's resolution is to Follow the threshold ritual.

Follow the threshold ritual.

How about you? Have you found ways to remind yourself to be grateful, as you go about your ordinary day? (The most common happiness advice seems to be to keep a gratitude journal, but I have to confess, that didn't work for me.)

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
Follow a threshold ritual.
Can you curse during a gratitude meditation?
Why a hurricane filled me with gratitude.

If you're new, here's information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It's never too late to

Paris-street

Assay: The first line in Gertrude Stein's Paris France is "Paris, France is exciting and peaceful." For a moment, I was surprised by this pairing of words -- but then I realized, it's not really surprising. Paris is exciting and peaceful.

I'd been thinking along these lines about my home (no surprise, I spend a lot of time thinking about home these days, while I'm working on my next book, Happier at Home). I have what seem to be, at first, paradoxical desires for my home.

My home should calm me, and energize me. It should be a comforting, quiet refuge and a place of excitement and possibility. It should call to my mind the past, the present, and the future. It should be a snuggery of privacy and reflection, but also a gathering place that strengthens my engagement with other people. By making me feel safe, it should embolden me to take risks. I want a feeling of home so strong that no matter where I go, I take that feeling with me; at the same time, I want to find

Rear-window

One of my resolutions is to Cultivate gratitude, but I find it very challenging; I'm always searching for new ways to remind myself how precious an ordinary day is. As I've been working on my next book, Happier at Home, I've tried to find ways to remind myself of my gratitude for my home.

In the tumult of everyday life, it's very hard to stay attuned to the familiar beauty that I see constantly. One reason I like to go on vacation is that when I return, I see again, with fresher eyes, the landscape of my neighborhood.

We don't have any "views" from our apartment. We have great light, which is a real luxury in New York City (and if I had to pick between good light and a good view, I'd pick good light), but even though we face an apartment building, and another apartment building, and the top of a shaft, there are still beautiful things to see when we look out.

From our kitchen, we can see an building face that's covered with ivy. It's a great pleasure to watch the breeze

WorkplaceI'm reading Cross and Perker's The Hidden Power of Social Networks: Understanding How Work Really Gets Done in Organizations, and I was riveted by their discussion of energy. This caught my eye, because my father is always emphasizing the importance of energy, whether at work or at play -- especially at work.

Cross and Parker argue that energy is a key factor in understanding who is effective at work, and why. When they analyzed networks of co-workers, knowing whether someone was considered an "energizer" and a "de-energizer" shed a great deal of light on how networks worked, and how productive various people managed to be. Their discussion is complex, but here are some highlights.

About energizers:
-- those who energized others are much higher performers
-- energizers are more likely to be heard and to see their ideas acted upon
-- people are more willing to engage with energizers: to give them undivided attention, to devote discretionary time to them, to respond