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    Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

    • 6 Tips for Battling Loneliness

      By Gretchen Rubin | Healthy Living – Thu, May 19, 2011 3:15 PM EDT

      Loneliness2Loneliness2The more I've learned about happiness, the more I've come to believe that loneliness is a terrible, common, and important obstacle to consider.

      A while back, after reading John Cacioppo's fascinating book Loneliness, I posted Some counter-intuitive facts about loneliness, and several people responded by asking, "Okay, but what do I do about it? What steps can I take to feel less lonely?"

      I recently finished another fascinating book, Lonely -- a memoir by Emily White, about her own experiences and research into loneliness. White doesn't attempt to give specific advice about how to combat loneliness, but from her book, I gleaned these strategies:

      1. Remember that although the distinction can be difficult to draw, loneliness and solitude are different. White observes, "It's entirely reasonable to feel lonely yet still feel as though you need some time to yourself." Loneliness feels draining, distracting, and upsetting; desired solitude feels peaceful, creative, restorative.

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    • Suffer...for Fifteen Minutes.

      By Gretchen Rubin | Healthy Living – Wed, May 18, 2011 3:16 PM EDT

      2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month's theme is Time. Last week's resolution was to Re-evaluate your mantras. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

      This week's resolution is to Suffer for fifteen minutes.

      Suffer_for_15_minutes.MP3_for_Audio_Podcasting


      If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
      Do you have trouble sticking to your resolutions? Turns out it really does matter.
      Get rid of things that don't work.
      Photographs make me happy, but they're also making me miserable. (Notice that this post was from three years ago.)

      Have you ever had a similar experience -- having a task so huge and daunting that you just couldn't bear to begin it? What strategy did you use finally to tackle it? And am I the only one who has been haunted by my gigantic archives of

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    • Have You Joined or Started a Happiness Project Group? If Not -- Do You Want To?

      By Gretchen Rubin | Healthy Living – Tue, May 17, 2011 4:25 PM EDT

      Chairs-in-circleChairs-in-circle

      One of the happiness-project resolutions that has added most to my happiness is my resolution to Join or start a group.

      Being part of a group is a terrific way to make new friends, deepen existing friendships, have fun, create a sense of belonging, and spend time thinking about a subject that interests you. It sounds odd to talk about "efficiency" in the context of friendship, but belonging to a group is a very efficient way to build and strengthen relationships (especially if you're pressed for time).

      I've heard from lots of people who want to launch or join groups for people doing happiness projects together, so I created the starter kit, to help them get the ball rolling. (If you want a copy, email me at grubin at gretchenrubin dot com.)

      In answer to my plea, many people already in Happiness Project groups completed the survey about their groups. (If you're in a group and haven't filled it out, please take a second to answer these six quick questions!)

      Thanks to

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    • Watch the CBS Sunday Morning Segment on Happiness.

      By Gretchen Rubin | Author Blog Posts – Mon, May 16, 2011 3:15 PM EDT

      Last week, CBS Sunday Morning did a segment on happiness -- and included me! It was a lot of fun.

    • MollyJongFastMollyJongFast

      I'm so happy for my friend, the incomparable Molly Jong-Fast. Her new novel, The Social Climber's Handbook, just came out. It's a delicious, dark, biting story about some characters here in New York City -- one of whom has a big, crazy secret. The novel is very funny, and at the same time, also extremely acute in its observations about people. I raced through it.

      I've known Molly for a long time, but nevertheless, I was eager to corner her to get her answers to some questions about happiness.

      Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
      Molly: Reading books to my kids, meditating. Watching TV is so relaxing for me. I just love it. I also love reading a great book. I sometimes need to turn my brain off and this how I do it. Which is not to say that I am so smart, just to say that I am totally and utterly obsessive and that sometimes I need an out to all that obsession.

      What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when

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    • Are You Always Late? 7 Tips To Arrive On Time.

      By Gretchen Rubin | Work + Money – Thu, May 12, 2011 3:53 PM EDT

      RunningthroughairportRunningthroughairportFeeling as though you're always running twenty minutes behind schedule is an unhappy feeling. Having to rush, forgetting things in your haste, dealing with annoyed people when you arrive…it's no fun.

      If you're chronically late, what steps can you take to be more prompt? That depends on why you're late. As my Eighth Commandment holds, the first step is to Identify the problem - then you can see more easily what you need to change.

      There are many reasons you might be late, but some are particularly common. Are you late because…

      1.You sleep too late? If you're so exhausted in the morning that you sleep until the last possible moment, it's time to think about going to sleep earlier. Many people don't get enough sleep, and sleep deprivation is a real drag on your happiness and health. I've become a sleep nut since I started my happiness project. Getting enough sleep is really important.

      2.You try to get one last thing done? Apparently, this is a common cause of tardiness. If

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    • Why it's time to reevaluate your mantras

      By Gretchen Rubin | Healthy Living – Wed, May 11, 2011 3:56 PM EDT

      2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven't officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month's theme is Time. Last week's resolution was to Set aside a specific time for something that's important to you. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

      This week's resolution is to Re-evaluate your mantras. (Here, I'm specifically talking about time-related mantras, but re-evaluating all your mantras is also a good idea.)

      Re-evaluate_your_mantras.MP3_for_Audio_Podcasting


      How about you? Have you found mantras running through your head -- that were actually making you kind of nuts? How did you stop them?

      If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
      Examine your heuristics.
      Face it: you have no free time.

      If you're new, here's information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It's never too late to start! You're not behind, jump in

      Read More »

    • Do You Fall Into the Trap of Overthinking?

      By Gretchen Rubin | Work + Money – Tue, May 10, 2011 2:49 PM EDT

      SpiderwebSpiderweb

      I was looking up something in Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky's excellent book, The How of Happiness, and I came across an interesting passage. (I'd marked it, so clearly I'd read it before, but I didn't remember it well.)

      Many of us believe that when we feel down, we should try to focus inwardly and evaluate our feelings and our situation in order to attain self-insight and find solutions that might ultimately resolve our problems and relieve unhappiness. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, I, and others have compiled a great deal of evidence challenging this assumption. Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that to the contrary, overthinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a person's ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative. Moreover, although people have a strong sense that they are gaining insight into themselves and their problems during Read More »

    • Join or Start a Group. And Please Answer These Six Questions!

      By Gretchen Rubin | Healthy Living – Sun, May 8, 2011 1:43 AM EDT

      Keith-Haring-UntitledKeith-Haring-Untitled

      I've written before about why the resolution to Join or start a group -- any kind of group -- can bring you happiness. I've joined or started fourteen groups since I began my happiness project, and they've added tremendously to my happiness.

      Many people have started Happiness Project groups, for people meeting to discuss their own happiness projects; they swap ideas, build enthusiasm, and hold each other other accountable for their resolutions -- which is so important for making change. (Think about AA or Weight Watchers.) In fact, here are 9 reasons why starting a Happiness Project group will boost your happiness. It's also true that just the fact of joining a group, whatever the focus might be, brings happiness.

      For people who interested in Happiness Project groups, I created a starter kit, to help get the ball rolling. Many thousands of people have requested one. (To receive one yourself, email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com.)

      I'm extremely interested in these

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    • The Mantra 'It Can Always Get Worse' Reminds Me to Appreciate the Positive

      By Gretchen Rubin | Healthy Living – Fri, May 6, 2011 2:55 PM EDT

      Piper-kermanPiper-kerman

      Happiness interview: Piper Kerman.

      I'd heard a lot about Piper Kerman's book, Orange Is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison, even before I bought my copy. I was intrigued with her story: more than ten years after agreeing to deliver a large cash payment for a drug ring, she ended up spending a year in a minimum-security prison. I was fascinated to hear what she had to say about happiness -- and how to find happiness in difficult circumstances.

      Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
      Piper: Cooking. I find the combination of the measured steps of creating a meal, along with the opportunity for experimentation and novelty, to always result in happiness - and a concrete outcome! And when I'm in cooking mode, I listen to one radio show, Little Steven's Underground Garage. When my husband comes home and hears that show blasting through the computer, he knows he'll find me in a good mood, creating something delicious.

      What's

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