Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

One February, I happened to stop by a friend's house around Valentine's Day, and I saw how she'd set the table for a holiday breakfast. Nothing too elaborate, but very decorated and fun - heart-shaped placemats, some candy, sticky-pads in the shape of hearts, etc. She explained that because of her family's schedules, they have a tough time eating dinner together, so she uses breakfast as a time to celebrate.

I thought that this was a FANTASTIC idea. Festive, easy to set the table the night before, easy to schedule, lots of happiness bang for the buck. I vowed that I would copy her - but for a variety of reasons, this morning was the first time I had a real opportunity to set up a holiday breakfast.

I had a lot of fun creating it. My kids often eat peanut butter on toast

One source of unhappiness for people is feeling out of control of their spending - and this is a problem that's far more widespread now than it was a year ago. Feeling regret about having bought something is a very unpleasant sort of unhappiness.

Being an under-buyer, as opposed to an over-buyer, I don't generally have much trouble avoiding overspending. I have more trouble prodding myself to make the effort to buy things I actually need.

Nevertheless, even with my under-buying ways, I sometimes come home with something I didn't really need to buy. Stores use extremely clever strategies to winkle customers into making purchases. Here are some strategies to make sure you don't make purchases you regret:

1. Be wary of the check-out areas. There are lots of enticing little items here; ask yourself if you really need something before you add it to your pile. How many times have I picked up a jar of Balmex?

2. Get in and get out. The more time you spend in a store, the

My three-year-old hates being told "No" and "Don't," and she's also one of those kids who immediately does exactly what you ask her not to do, so I've had to develop some strategies to get the "No" message across without unleashing the very behavior I want to stop.

I realized that although she doesn't want to hear "no," my daughter responds very well to certain kinds of explanations. While "It's not healthy," "We don't have time," and "I don't want to buy that" don't work very well, other justifications for saying "no" are more effective:

1. "It's for safety." For some reason, my daughter wisely accepts safety as an absolute directive, so I invoke it whenever possible. For example, I characterized the "no slamming doors" rule as a safety rule, not a noise/behavior rule. "When people slam doors, eventually, people get their fingers smashed. So for safety, no slamming doors."

2. "That's just for decoration." We can walk into a store crammed with treats or gimcracks, and

One of my Twelve Commandments is "Lighten up," and I have a lot of resolutions aimed at trying to be a more light-hearted parent: less nagging, more laughing. We all want a peaceful, cheerful, even joyous, atmosphere at home - but we can't nag and yell our way to get there. Here are some strategies that help me:

1. At least once a day, make each child helpless with laughter.

2. Sing in the morning. It's hard both to sing and to maintain a grouchy mood, and it sets a happy tone for everyone-particularly in my case, because I'm tone deaf and my audience finds my singing a source of great hilarity.

3. Get enough sleep yourself. It's so tempting to stay up late, to enjoy the peace and quiet. But morning comes fast. Along the same lines…

4. Wake up before your kids. We were so rushed in the morning that I started getting up half an hour earlier than my children. That means I can get myself organized, check my email, post to Slate, and get my bag packed before they get up.

Hah. It's really quite preposterous for me to offer up a tips list on this subject. A tendency to fly off the handle is one of my most disagreeable and persistent traits, and something I battle with - largely unsuccessfully - every day. For me, anger is the most tempting of the seven deadly sins. At best, you could describe me as "edgy."

This list shows the strategies I try to use to keep myself patient and mild-mannered, but I certainly can't claim that they've been wholly successful. I still lose my temper far too often; however, I do think I'm doing a better job than I would be if I weren't following these tips:

1. Pay attention to my body. Being too cold, too hot, and especially being too hungry, makes me far more irritable.

2. Don't drink. I basically gave up drinking because alcohol makes me so belligerent.

3. Acknowledge the reality of other people's feelings (usually this arises with my husband or daughters). Instead of snapping back answers like "I don't

I posted before about tips for knowing if you're boring someone and tips to avoid being a bore. But while it might be fairly easy to avoid topics that are likely to bore someone, it's much harder to figure out what to say if you want to be interesting. Making polite conversation can be tough.

"So where do you live?"
"Chelsea."
"Really. I live on the upper east side."
"Great…"
Painful silence.

Here are some strategies to try when your mind is a blank:

1. Comment on a topic common to both of you at the moment: the food, the room, the occasion, the weather. "How do you know our host?" "What brings you to this event?" But keep it on the positive side! Unless you can be hilariously funny, the first time you come in contact with a person isn't a good time to complain.

2. Comment on a topic of general interest. A friend scans Google News right before he goes anywhere where he needs to make small talk, so he can say, "Did you hear that Justice Souter is

Being happy at work is, of course, quite related to how much you like your job, but there are small steps you can take to boost your mood. Maintaining the comfort of your body, sprinkling a few small pleasures throughout your day, using your time wisely - a little thought can mean a lot more happiness at work.

As Samuel Johnson observed, "It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery, and as much happiness as possible."

Your work space:
1. Check for eyestrain: put your hand to your forehead in a salute. If your eyes feel relieved, your space is too bright. When I got my three monitors (an investment which makes me ecstatically happy, by the way), I had to turn down their brightness levels because the glare was terrible.

2. Get a good desk chair and take the time to adjust it properly.

3. Sit up straight - every time I do, I instantly feel more energetic and cheerier.

4. Indulge in a modest splurge, i.e., consider

One of my worst faults is my tendency to "snap" - to react sharply, in a minor but harsh way. This trait clouds my happiness and the happiness of everyone who feels the lash.

The conventional advice for mastering your temper is to "Count to 10" before reacting. My problem is that, in the difficult moment, it never occurs to me to count to ten.

Figuring out ways to control my snappishness is one of my chief goals for the Happiness Project. To try to rein it in, I've tried everything from the Week of Extreme Nice to hypnosis.

I also came up with a set of questions that kick into my brain (sometimes) in time to affect my behavior.

If you're about to lose your temper, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I at fault? I hate to be criticized or to be in the wrong. Often, I'm angriest when someone is chiding me about something that I am, indeed, guilty of. When I'm about to hit back, I remind myself to accept criticism politely, if grudgingly.

2. Will this solve