Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

Now I have a new appreciation for my good fortune in not having had much experience with hospitals-so far. As I was reading these memoirs--mostly about cancer--I made note of the bits of advice I read on how to cope with a serious illness. It seems a bit offensive, or at least overly simplistic, to sum up these profound experiences in a tips list, but the writers themselves seemed eager to try to help others learn from what they went through. So here goes:

 For long periods of suffering, take it day by day. Don't anticipate.
 Being gregarious and upbeat wins you more attention from the staff. This isn't fair, but it's true.
 A lot of living goes on in the course of dying. Don't postpone things-like seeing friends-until you're "doing better." You may never do better.
 If a friend is sick, show your concern. Don't assume he or she will know, or will ask for your help. Caring silently from a distance looks like denial, or lack of concern, to the ill person.

In marriage, or any partnership, chores are a huge source of conflict. How do you get your sweetheart to hold up his or her end, without nagging?

 It's annoying to hear a hectoring voice, so suggest tasks without words. When the Big Man needs a prescription filled, he puts his empty medicine bottle on the bathroom counter. Then I know to get it re-filled.

 If you need to voice a reminder, limit yourself to one word. Instead of barking out, "Now remember, I've told you a dozen times, stop off at the grocery store, we need milk, if you forget, you're going right back out!" Instead, call out, "Grocery store!" or "Milk!"

 Don't insist that a task be done on your schedule. "You've got to trim those hedges today!" Says who? Try, "When are you planning to trim the hedges?" If possible, show why something needs to be done by a certain time. "Will you be able to trim the hedges before our party next week?"

 Remind your partner that it's better to decline a task than to

Most people understand that it's a pain to be disorganized. Disorganized people spend a lot of time hunting for their keys; they have to order a replacement birth certificate; they know they must have a dozen hammers, because it's always been easier to buy a new one than to locate one in the house.

Often, however, people don't realize how disorganized they are. Are you? Take this quiz.

At a minimum, you should know exactly where to find these possessions (assuming, of course, you own them-and you should):

Paradoxically, studies show that over time, people who diet tend to gain more weight than people who don't diet. Here are some non-dieting tips for eating better that have worked for me:

1. To have a tastier salad without adding calories-yes, this sounds crazy, but it really improves the flavor-sprinkle a packet of Equal or any artificial sweetener on it. Don't laugh, try it!

2. Never eat anything at a children's birthday party. If you have kids, this rule is crucial.

3. Eat smaller portions. At a restaurant, order an appetizer for your entree, ask for an appetizer portion, or leave 25% of each serving on your plate. Studies show that while cutting fat, eating more fruits and vegetables, and increasing exercise all help people lose weight, the single most effective change is to trim portion size.

4. Never eat hors d'oeuvres. When I see that tray of crab cakes passing by, I remind myself that I'm likely to get something stuck in my teeth, spray crumbs at people while

Making polite conversation can be tough.

Exercise helps make you happy. People who exercise are healthier, more energetic, think more clearly, sleep better, and have delayed onset of dementia. They also get relief from anxiety and mild depression, comparable to medication and therapy.

But even when you acknowledge the tremendous benefits, if you're not already exercising regularly, it can be hard to adopt the habit. I managed to change myself from a natural sloth to an enthusiastic exerciser by using all these tricks:

Never skip exercising for two days in a row. You can skip a day, but the next day, you must exercise no matter how inconvenient.

DON'T link exercise to weight loss as a way to motivate yourself. Although it's quite true that people who exercise regularly are far more likely to keep weight off, you'll find yourself justifying missing your run by turning down two Saltines. And if you don't lose weight easily (who does?),

1. Last thing before going to bed, tidy up the house. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but if you do it every night, this one habit can dramatically improve your environment.
2. Always keep keys, wallet, phone, etc. in your bag, and what's more, in the same place in your bag; don't put them down on a counter or anywhere else.
3. Keep plenty of cash in the house.
4. Put envelopes to be mailed, library books to be returned, or videos to be returned by the front door.
5. Don't leave the bathroom, bedroom, or kitchen without making sure that all drawers and cabinet doors are closed.
6. Sing-even for just a minute-when you wake up.
7. Take a few minutes to stretch.
8. Always, always, always make the bed.

When I was procrastinating about launching this blog, I found some suggestions that helped me get it done. If you're having trouble accomplishing a task, try these tips:

1. Write down your goal.
2. Make a long to-do list to give yourself a feeling of progress as you work toward a distant goal.
3. Break your main task into smaller, more manageable tasks, and begin by doing whatever is easiest. If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ere long be suprised to find how little remains that we cannot do. Samuel Butler.
4. Set a deadline.
5. Don't give up if something interferes with your deadline.
6. Ask advice and support from knowledgeable people.
7. Get familiar with other people's work, so you don't reinvent the wheel.
8. Sometimes it helps to keep the stakes low at the beginning, so you feel less worried about making a mistake; sometimes it helps to keep the stakes high from the beginning, so