Oh, how I crave gold stars. One of my worst qualities is my insatiable need for credit; I always want the recognition, the praise, the gold star stuck on my homework. I struggle to master my need for gold stars, because it makes me a resentful score-keeper.
Several of my resolutions are aimed at this desire, like Don't expect praise or appreciation and "Do it for myself." One of my Twelve Commandments is "No calculation" - it comes from a quotation from St. Therese of Lisieux, who observed, "When one loves, one does not calculate."
Nevertheless, for all my efforts, I have to admit that I still crave gold stars. Whether or not I should want them, I do. Here are the strategies I use to try to curb my craving:
1. Do it for yourself. For a long time, I self-righteously told myself that I made certain efforts "for the team." While this sounded generous, it led to a bad result, because I sulked when my husband or whoever didn't appreciate my efforts. Now, I tell myself, "I'mRead More »from Taken for granted? 5 tips for dealing with feeling unappreciated