Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

Voltaire is the great thinker responsible for the observation, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good."

I've found this precept to be extremely useful with my happiness project. Instead of pushing myself to an impossible "perfect," and therefore getting nowhere, I accept "good."

This sounds sensible enough, you're thinking, but how does it actually work in real life? Here are some examples:

-- I floss sometimes. Not every day. Sometimes.

-- I don't push myself in exercise. I have friends who, I suspect, secretly scoff at my mild work-out routines. But because they never exercise except to push themselves to the max, they never go, and I've been exercising consistently since high school (Hear are some more tips for sticking to an exercise routine.)

-- I don't call, I email. When I told someone about my April resolution to send my friends birthday emails, he said, "But you should call! A call is much better." True, I admit. But I hate the phone, and I

Dorothea Brande was an American writer and editor, well known for her books Wake Up and Live and Becoming a Writer (a useful resource for writers, by the way).

In Wake Up and Live, she suggests twelve mental exercises to make your mind keener and more flexible. These exercises are meant to pull you out of your usual habits and to put you in situations that will demand resourcefulness and creative problem-solving. Brande argues that only by testing and stretching yourself can you develop mental strength.

Even apart from the goals of creativity and mental flexibility, Brande's exercises make sense from a happiness perspective. One thing is clear: novelty and challenge bring happiness. People who stray from their routines, try new things, explore, and experiment tend to be happier than those who don't. Of course, as Brande herself points out, novelty and challenge can also bring frustration, anxiety, confusion, and annoyance along the way; it's the process of facing those

I hesitate to disagree with the immortal La Rochefoucauld, but I think he was wrong when he wrote, "We are always bored by those whom we bore."

Not always (though I often remind myself of this observation when I'm feeling bored by someone else). I think that sometimes we find a topic so interesting that it's easy to lose sight of the fact that it might not be interesting to someone else. And most of us want to make a good impression and avoid boring other people.

Unless you get a truly enthusiastic response from your interlocutor-which is possible-be very wary of recounting…

1. A dream.
2. The recent changes in your child's nap schedule.
3. The route you took to get here.
4. An excellent meal you once had at a restaurant.
5. The latest additions to your wine cellar.
6. An account of your last tennis game.
7. The plot of a movie, play or book-in particular, the funny parts.

What do these subjects have in common? The listener has nothing

I've been thinking a lot about my eating habits lately-probably because summer is approaching, with its shorts, bathing suits, and sundresses.

Here are some guidelines that I've been trying to follow, with various degrees of fidelity:

1. Wear snug-fitting clothes. How I love wearing yoga pants every day! But they are just too comfy.

2. Buy food in small containers. Studies show that people give themselves larger portions out of larger boxes, so I don't buy that economy box of pretzels.

3. Make tempting food inconvenient-put cookies in a hard-to-reach spot, set the freezer to a very cold temperature so it's hard to spoon out ice cream, eat wrapped Hershey's kisses instead of M & Ms.

4. Order the appetizer size.

5. Use smaller plates, bowls, and cutlery. I often use my four-year-old's little plastic Disney Princess plates.

6. Dish food up in the kitchen, and don't bring serving platters onto the table (except vegetables).

7. Pile my plate with

Want to be happier? These ten tips aren't the most essential tips for being happy. Instead, as I wrote about in the magazine Real Simple last year, these are strategies that might not necessarily seem obvious to people.

1. Don't start with profundities.
When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger.
I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

Feeling energetic is a key to feeling happy. Studies show that when you feel energetic, you feel much better about yourself. On the other hand, when you feel exhausted, tasks that would ordinarily make you happy-like putting up holiday decorations-make you feel overwhelmed and blue.

So here are some tips for giving yourself an energy lift.

1. Exercise-even a quick ten-minute walk will increase your energy and boost your mood. This really works! Try it! Here are some tips to sticking to an exercise routine.

2. Listen to lively music.

3. Get enough sleep. If the alarm blasts you out of a sound sleep every morning, you're not getting enough-and it matters.

4. For some people, taking a 10-30 minute nap is a big help. I can't nap, myself, but my father has been known to take three naps in one day.

5. Act energetic. Research shows that when people move faster, their metabolism speeds up. Acting energetic will make you feel more energetic.

6. Talk to friends.

You can make yourself happier - and this doesn't have to be a long-term ambition. You can start right now. In the next hour, check off as many of the following items as possible. Each of these accomplishments will lift your mood, as will the mere fact that you've tackled and achieved some concrete goals.

1. Boost your energy: stand up and pace while you talk on the phone or, even better, take a brisk ten-minute walk outside. Research shows that when people move faster, their metabolism speeds up, and the activity and sunlight are good for your focus, your mood, and the retention of information. Plus, because of emotional contagion, if you act energetic, you'll help the people around you feel energetic, too.

2. Reach out to friends: make a lunch date or send an email to a friend you haven't seen in a while. Having warm, close bonds with other people is one of the keys to happiness, so take the time to stay in touch. Somewhat surprisingly, it turns out that socializing boosts

One of the most important strategies of my Happiness Project has been keeping my Resolutions Chart. It provides accountability, it prompts me to review all my resolutions once a day, it gives me the gold stars I crave -- when I manage to follow my resolutions.

I love reading other people's resolutions, their personal commandments, their to-do lists, and a thoughtful reader sent me the link to the daily decalogue of Pope John XXIII. Pope John XXIII was pope from 1958-1963 and was known as "The Good Pope."

It's interesting to see that this list emphasizes taking each day as it comes. This mindset can be hugely helpful. Instead of allowing yourself to become overwhelmed and discouraged by imagining how hard it would be to keep your resolutions for the rest of your life, you just take it day by day (or Bird by Bird for you Anne Lamott fans).

Alcoholics Anonymous follows this same approach - emphasizing "one day at a time" to keep a difficult change manageable.

So here