Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

New-Year-2012A few times, on Facebook and Google+ and Twitter, I've posed the question: "If you could make significant progress in one area of your life by year's end, what area would you choose?"

I'm always fascinated to read people's answers. There's a wide range, and I haven't actually tallied the responses, but I reckon that the most common areas are:

- lose weight

- stick to an exercise routine

- get more organized, get rid of clutter

- more time for important relationships

- take the next steps on a big project (e.g., finish a manuscript, submit to an agent)

- get more financial control

Sometimes, the act of identifying something as a "top priority" makes it easier to see ways to make that change a top priority. Instead of a bunch of desiderata swirling around in your brain, you see one very clearly.

What would you choose, as your top priority for change by the end of the year? And you can predict my next question. Having identified that area, are there

dogtreatThese days, there's quite an emphasis on appreciating the animal side of human nature. We're cautioned to respect the power of our lizard brain, and to consider how we respond to stimuli in an instinctual way. We should train ourselves like a dog to improve our habits, say.

I agree that the animal element of human nature is a factor in everything we do.

But sometimes, I think, we overlook the ways that people differ from animals. People are powerfully moved by imagination, belief, and knowledge. They can consider the past and future. They can make changes in their behavior out of reason, in a way that animals can't do.

I had a recent experience like this. In March, I was intrigued by the title of Gary Taubes's book, Why We Get Fat: And What To Do About It, and when I flipped through it, I saw that Taubes writes a lot about insulin. Because my sister is a Type 1 diabetic, I've become very interested in insulin. So I read the book.

I finished the book in two days, and

carenostenHappiness interview: Caren Osten Gerszberg.

I got to know Caren a few years ago through a mutual friend. She's a writer who covers travel, education, and is also a co-founder of the site Drinking Diaries ("from celebration to revelation"), along with Leah Odze Epstein. They just co-edited a thought-provoking anthology, Drinking Diaries: Women Serve Their Stories Straight Up.

Caren writes often about issues that touch on the subject of happiness, so I was interested to hear what she had to say.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Caren: Reading by the fireplace. Playing Scrabble with my kids. Waking up before dawn to catch an airplane. Watching a movie in bed. Spending Friday night dinner with my family. Hiking with my two dogs and watching them lope through the woods. Rock climbing to a point where I can look at a vista and let it seep in. Taking evening walks with my husband to the Long Island Sound, where we look at the water in

thereseAssay: My spiritual master is St. Therese of Lisieux, so when a thoughtful reader emailed me about Heather King's 2011 memoir, Shirt of Flame: A Year with Saint Therese of Lisieux, I was thrilled-and astounded that I hadn't heard about it yet. I'm always trying to get my hands on more St. Therese material, plus I can never resist a good "year-of" memoir.

I couldn't wait to read Shirt of Flame, and I found it fascinating, for many reasons. One passage struck me in particular.

In the study of happiness, I'm always fascinated and moved when I see a person choose to react in a way that boosts happiness or love or forgiveness, when circumstances made that choice difficult.

In her spiritual memoir Story of a Soul (which was one of the book-club choices for this month, by the way), St. Therese gives many examples about this from her own life-for instance, the moment of her "complete conversion," where she acted selflessly by showing a greedy joy in her Christmas presents. In

fellowship-ringI really work on paying attention to the clues my self is giving myself.

For instance, I think of myself in the third person. That allows me to manage myself better.

I also follow the resolution to Pay attention to my "tells." (A "tell," in poker, is an action or expression that serves as a clue to whether a person has a good hand or bad hand; without meaning to, you "tell" what you've got). A few years ago, I finally noticed that I have two very obvious "tells" that indicate that I'm feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

First, I need about three extra hours of sleep each night.

Second, I hanker to re-read some of my favorite works of children's literature. Notice, I say "re-read," because when I'm in this mood, I don't want to read anything new. I want to re-read something I already love. That way, I get the pleasure of reading without the special effort and suspense of reading a book for the first time. I can really savor the details. (Along the same lines, a recent

sarahbbHappiness interview: Sarah Bryden-Brown.

I've met so many terrific people through the world of blogging, and one great friend is Sarah Bryden-Brown. Everyone who knows her jokes that if Sarah makes a suggestion about something you should try, or something you'd like, or something that might be helpful to you, you run out and follow that suggestion the next day, no questions asked. She knows a tremendous amount and is extraordinarily generous and creative about helping others.

She has worn many hats, and one of her current excellent adventures is Camp Mighty, where people build happiness by creating a "life list" and connecting with other people to help achieve those goals. To sign up to find out more, go here.

Gretchen: What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?

Sarah: That I can make it happen.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?

Worrying about what other

pen-and-paper-writingI love lists in every form, whether by me or by other people. I was crushed to realize that I'd missed the Morgan Library's recent exhibition, Lists: To-dos, illustrated inventories, collected thought and other artists' enumerations. I really wanted to see that.

I was enchanted to see Phil Patton's piece in the New York Times on Our Longing for Lists. The piece was illustrated with the image of Johnny Cash's to-do list (which, by the way, reportedly sold at auction in December 2010 for $6,250).

Here's the list. On a sheet printed with the words, "Things To Do Today!" Johnny Cash wrote:

In the section marked NOTES at the bottom, he wrote

I was gratified to see that Johnny Cash follows one of my Secrets of Adulthood: Every to-do list

HAHpile3lMy new book, Happier at Home, comes out soon, zoikes. So brace yourself, here comes some promotion!You've been warned.

If you read this blog, I hope you'll consider reading Happier at Home. "Um, why should I buy your book," some people have asked (or if they didn't ask out loud, they probably thought), "when I can read the blog for free?" Other people have asked, "I read The Happiness Project; is this book more of the same?" Here are some reasons to read Happier at Home:

1. One smart friend who has read both said she thought the blog was process, the book was conclusion. The ideas in the book are presented in a more distilled, thoughtful way, and the book framework allows me to tell longer stories and explain more complicated ideas.

2. The Happiness Project is broad and lays out general principles; Happier at Home goes deeper into the one particular area of life that, at least for me, is the foundation of happiness. My sister, in fact, says she likes Happier at Home better