Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

thereseAssay: My spiritual master is St. Therese of Lisieux, so when a thoughtful reader emailed me about Heather King's 2011 memoir, Shirt of Flame: A Year with Saint Therese of Lisieux, I was thrilled-and astounded that I hadn't heard about it yet. I'm always trying to get my hands on more St. Therese material, plus I can never resist a good "year-of" memoir.

I couldn't wait to read Shirt of Flame, and I found it fascinating, for many reasons. One passage struck me in particular.

In the study of happiness, I'm always fascinated and moved when I see a person choose to react in a way that boosts happiness or love or forgiveness, when circumstances made that choice difficult.

In her spiritual memoir Story of a Soul (which was one of the book-club choices for this month, by the way), St. Therese gives many examples about this from her own life-for instance, the moment of her "complete conversion," where she acted selflessly by showing a greedy joy in her Christmas presents. In

fellowship-ringI really work on paying attention to the clues my self is giving myself.

For instance, I think of myself in the third person. That allows me to manage myself better.

I also follow the resolution to Pay attention to my "tells." (A "tell," in poker, is an action or expression that serves as a clue to whether a person has a good hand or bad hand; without meaning to, you "tell" what you've got). A few years ago, I finally noticed that I have two very obvious "tells" that indicate that I'm feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

First, I need about three extra hours of sleep each night.

Second, I hanker to re-read some of my favorite works of children's literature. Notice, I say "re-read," because when I'm in this mood, I don't want to read anything new. I want to re-read something I already love. That way, I get the pleasure of reading without the special effort and suspense of reading a book for the first time. I can really savor the details. (Along the same lines, a recent

sarahbbHappiness interview: Sarah Bryden-Brown.

I've met so many terrific people through the world of blogging, and one great friend is Sarah Bryden-Brown. Everyone who knows her jokes that if Sarah makes a suggestion about something you should try, or something you'd like, or something that might be helpful to you, you run out and follow that suggestion the next day, no questions asked. She knows a tremendous amount and is extraordinarily generous and creative about helping others.

She has worn many hats, and one of her current excellent adventures is Camp Mighty, where people build happiness by creating a "life list" and connecting with other people to help achieve those goals. To sign up to find out more, go here.

Gretchen: What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?

Sarah: That I can make it happen.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?

Worrying about what other

pen-and-paper-writingI love lists in every form, whether by me or by other people. I was crushed to realize that I'd missed the Morgan Library's recent exhibition, Lists: To-dos, illustrated inventories, collected thought and other artists' enumerations. I really wanted to see that.

I was enchanted to see Phil Patton's piece in the New York Times on Our Longing for Lists. The piece was illustrated with the image of Johnny Cash's to-do list (which, by the way, reportedly sold at auction in December 2010 for $6,250).

Here's the list. On a sheet printed with the words, "Things To Do Today!" Johnny Cash wrote:

In the section marked NOTES at the bottom, he wrote

I was gratified to see that Johnny Cash follows one of my Secrets of Adulthood: Every to-do list

HAHpile3lMy new book, Happier at Home, comes out soon, zoikes. So brace yourself, here comes some promotion!You've been warned.

If you read this blog, I hope you'll consider reading Happier at Home. "Um, why should I buy your book," some people have asked (or if they didn't ask out loud, they probably thought), "when I can read the blog for free?" Other people have asked, "I read The Happiness Project; is this book more of the same?" Here are some reasons to read Happier at Home:

1. One smart friend who has read both said she thought the blog was process, the book was conclusion. The ideas in the book are presented in a more distilled, thoughtful way, and the book framework allows me to tell longer stories and explain more complicated ideas.

2. The Happiness Project is broad and lays out general principles; Happier at Home goes deeper into the one particular area of life that, at least for me, is the foundation of happiness. My sister, in fact, says she likes Happier at Home better

HAHwithbirdhouseSheriSilverI can't quite believe this, but today is the publication day for my book. As of today, Happier at Home out in the world, available for sale at bookstores near you.

I vividly remember the moments when I've had the idea to write each one of my books. I can tell you exactly where I was, whom I was with, the quality of the light, how I got the idea.

For this book, I was unloading the dishwasher on a Sunday afternoon. My husband was watching golf in the next room; my daughters were playing Restaurant.

Suddenly, I was hit by an intense wave of homesickness. I felt the way I did when I went to summer camp for the first time. Homesick-but why? I was standing in my own kitchen! I was homesick, I realized, for here and now-a kind of prospective nostalgia for this time of life.

That emotion was so puzzling, and so strong, that I began to think seriously, for the first time, about the idea of "home" and its relationship to happiness. Before long, I'd vowed to do another

leahodzeepsteinHappiness interview: Leah Odze Epstein.

I know the delightful Leah because Becky, one of her close friends growing up, was one of my college roommates. From time to time, Leah would come to stay with us-which was always a great treat, because she's so much fun.

I lost track of her for years, but then we connected again here in New York. One thing that makes me happy is when a person from the past reappears…it makes me feel that the past isn't lost. (The days are long, but the years are short, etc.)

Leah, with Caren Osten Gerszberg, has the blog Drinking Diaries-a blog about "women and drinking, from celebration to revelation." Leah and Caren also-just this week-published Drinking Diaries: Women Serve Their Stories Straight Up, an anthology of essays by women about their experiences with alcohol. The book is very thought-provoking, and covers a wide range of stories about drinking, not drinking, and the role that alcohol plays in life.

I was very interested to hear

tinypresentskeyboardBy some odd coincidence, two readers emailed me to ask for the link to this post, an Assay about "small treats," so I decided to re-post it today:

I've been thinking a lot lately about the importance of small treats, small pleasures. They're fun to experience, of course, and I think they also have a very important role to play in happiness.

When we feel depleted and drained, and when we have no time or energy devoted to the things that give us pleasure, we start to feel exhausted, resentful, and angry. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

But it can be surprisingly hard to think of what little treats you want to give yourself. So many pleasures come at a cost: cookies cost calories, movies and books take time and focus, a museum costs the price of a ticket. It's good to have a list of treats and pleasures that have a very low cost in time, energy, or money.

For instance, I've become obsessed with the sense of smell, and I love the fact that a good smell can