Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

chainrustyI love to collect variations on phrases, such as the "X is the new Y." "Orange is the new black," "Breakfast is the new lunch," "Forties are the new thirties," "Halloween is the new Christmas," or-and I was inspired by this one for Happier at Home-"September is the new January." (I started this happiness project in September, instead of January, because September also seems like a good time for a fresh start.)

I came up with my own fill-in-the-blank phrase, "___ is a good servant but a bad master." I've been thinking about different ways to fill in the blank, and I've asked people for their suggestions. It's a very thought-provoking list.

Money is a good servant but a bad master

Technology (includes Facebook, Twitter, email…)

Alcohol

Caffeine

Habit

Television

Anger

Food

Ambition

Planning

The flesh

Ego

Leisure

Productivity

What would you add? I don't know why I get such a big kick out of lists like this, but I do.

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PlayFamilyHouseornamentIn my new one-minute video book trailer, I list "Ten ways to be happier at home." Some of those suggestions are serious, and some are goofy (to my surprise, my suggestion regarding purple has turned out to be fairly controversial). Here's another list of ways to be happier at home-or, at least, they've made me happier at home.

One of these items is important enough to be listed in both places. Can you guess which one?

1. Get enough sleep.

2. Embrace good smells. No cost, no calories, no energy, no time-a quick hit of pleasure.

3. Cultivate a shrine.

4. Accept yourself, and expect more from yourself.

5. Give warm greetings and farewells. I was surprised by how much this resolution changed the atmosphere of my home.

6. Abandon your self-control. Well, this one really works for for my fellow abstainers, not moderators.

7. Remember the Sixth Splendid Truth: The only person you can change is yourself.

What else would you add to the list?

The photo

rubberbandsEvery morning, first thing, to help myself wake up (it is 6:00 a.m., after all), I spend a minute or so stretching. This isn't a rigorous or carefully designed set of stretches - more the kind of desultory stretches that we did in my seventh-grade P.E. class before running laps around the gym.

I touch my toes, I do some straddle stretches, I twist left and right, etc. I do this not for any scientifically based reason (in fact, from what I read, it seems that this kind of stretching may not always be a good idea), but because it helps me feel awake and energetic. This easy, simple habit makes me feel much more alert and comfortable in my body.

I pay particular attention to my neck, because I have a history of pulled muscles in my neck. I actually think to myself, "Wake up, neck!" as I turn my head from one side to the other, then move my head forward and back. Again, for very unscientific reasons. A friend told me that he'd heard (note: high probability of urban legend) that

HAHfinishedbookmineWarning: blatant self-promotion to follow! You've been warned!

My new book, Happier at Home, comes out in a few weeks-on my wedding anniversary, which seems auspicious for a book about happiness at home. If you read this blog, I hope you'll consider reading it. "Um, why should I buy your book," some people have asked nicely, "when I can read the blog for free?" Other people have asked, "I read The Happiness Project; is this book more of the same?" Here are some reasons to read Happier at Home:

1. One smart friend who has read both said she thought the blog was process, the book was conclusion. The ideas in the book are presented in a more distilled, thoughtful way, and the book framework allows me to tell longer stories and explain more complicated ideas.

2. On the blog, I write about whatever subject interests me that day, so it skips from topic to topic. The book is organized by subject matter: Time, Possessions, Parenthood, Body, Marriage, Neighborhood, etc. If you're

dawnnewyorkOf all the changes in my daily routine wrought by my happiness project, one of the most fundamental is that I get up at 6:00 a.m., every day. And I get up at 6:00 a.m. every day, even on weekends and vacation, because I love it. I get an hour to myself, at my computer, before my family wakes up for the day. It's quiet, the light is dim, and the world feels very serene.

I love this time so much that I would get up at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m., but that would mean that I'd have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m., and I just can't live life that way. I'm fuddy-duddy enough as it is.

From what I hear, one of the most common happiness challenges is lack of time for something important. People want to exercise, or work on a novel, or meditate, or read for pleasure, and they just can't fit it into their day. I absolutely know the feeling.

But here's what I've noticed. For many people, the end of the day is a pleasant interlude of free time, when work is done, the office isn't e-mailing, the

BlueberriesForSalRecently, I made a list of some of my favorite lines from classic children's picture books. This is my favorite kind of thing to do. I love quotes, and I love picture books. In fact, my children's literature reading groups once had a splinter-group meeting to discuss picture books, and I'm going to suggest that we do it again.

Truly great picture books are engaging at any age, beautiful and beautifully written, and yet we don't think of them as something we would seek out as adults. And when we think of enjoying "art," it's easy to imagine going to a museum-but the pleasure of art comes in many forms, and the art of picture books is a delight. Also, at least for me, reading picture books brings back many happy memories, and that's a happiness-booster, as well.

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"My mom says some days are like that. Even in Australia." - Judith Viorst, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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"The moon is high. The sea is deep. They rock and rock and rock to

InternetLibraryPeople talk a lot about the happiness risks of the internet, such as how online shopping or celebrity news can suck away our time, or how Facebook can foster comparison with other people.

The internet amplifies aspects of human nature, so I try to watch out for its bad effects. But I also remind myself of how happy the internet makes me! I try never to take it for granted.

For instance, I'm often haunted by some quotation or anecdote I read somewhere, someplace, in the past. When I read it, it didn't strike me as important, but now for some reason I desperately want to re-read it. So often, with just a few bits of information, the internet locates what I'm looking for, to my immense relief.

For instance, when I was doing my research for Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill, I came across an anecdote in a diary related to World War II. I loved it - but I lost it.

I'd read so many wartime diaries - from where did this story come? I was sure that I'd copied the

grade fI have a very tough time being criticized, corrected, or accused - of even the smallest mistakes - and I react very angrily. I've wrestled this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for my daughter to make a mild comment such as, "You forgot to remind me to bring my library book," to set me off. "What do you mean…it's not my responsibility…I didn't know Wednesday was Library Day…" etc., etc.

More and more, I see the connection between perfectionism, control, and anger. Zoikes, how I struggle to keep my sense of humor and light-heartedness! Here are some of the strategies that I try to use to accept criticism. If I manage to use them, they never fail me, but I don't always manage to put them to work.

1. Listen to what a critic is saying. Really listen, try to understand that point of view, don't just nod while I formulate my retorts. Accept just criticism.

2. Don't be defensive. This is the