1. My real name isn't Mama, Mom, Ma, Mommy or any version of it.
2. My super-human mom powers don't include being able to see or hear what they're doing when they're not in front of me. I don't have eyes behind my back. I just get lucky at guessing and it keeps them in check.
3. Sometimes I don't really want to eat my vegetables and want to go straight to dessert. More cupcakes, please!
4. I sometimes watch iCarly when they're not home. That Gibby kid is funny, and I don't know about you, but Sam is a much better actress than Carly.
5. My feet grew an entire size bigger after having kids. Yeah, mama's a freak like that.
6. I sometimes go to the bathroom just to read a magazine or play Sudoku and have "quiet Mommy time".
7. My hair used to be naturally super-shiny and stick straight before having them. Now I have a ball of frizz that can only be tamed with a flat iron.
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