Blog Posts by Esquire.com

Now that Sandra Bullock has moved out of the house she shared with Jesse James, and Tiger Woods is finally returning to golf, we offer one man's unfiltered, unadulterated explanation. Well, maybe a little adulterated.



Head to Esquire.com for the writer's full explanation for why he cheats.

I'll tell you why I cheat. I need to. Infidelity makes me remember things. The details that expand to fill my life (my upcoming performance reviews, the aches and pains of training, the recovery of my 401(k) ) and the ones that deaden it (my guilt, my smug self-satisfaction, my fake epiphanies about my progress in this life) -all of that drops away when I look down at the naked spine of an unfamiliar woman, twisting slightly in the late-afternoon sunlight streaming onto the sheets of a Hampton Inn in some nameless suburb. This is the most absolute choice I can make. I am there on my own. Against every code, rule, and set of mores I pretend to obey. Against better judgment, against every lesson of

What should a man really say when his woman asks about that dress - or worse, whether she looks fat in it? Below are easy answers to four of the toughest questions, with explanations why they work well. Also, head to Esquire.com for even more solutions.

The Question: Do you like what I'm wearing?

The Right Answer: "You look beautiful."

Why: A little bit of ambiguity goes a long way. Leave specific criticisms to her friends. She doesn't love you for your informed opinions on culottes.

(Get Hundreds More Valentines Day Ideas from Esquire)

The Question: Do I look fat in this?

The Right Answer: "Of course not."

Why: Absolutely no other answer should be used here. Don't go off the script. Not even if she's wearing a fat suit.

(15 Cheap, Last-Minute Date Ideas... All from Esquire)

The Question: Do you love me?

The Right Answer: "I love you."

Why: They want to hear you say it. Now is not the time to be funny. Avoid "yepper" or

No matter what kind of woman you're taking out nor how serious you are, she's guaranteed to love these $100-and-under excursions - most of which will get you laid, and all of which have a gift to go with them. And for 10 more ideas, head to Esquire.com

ALSO: Take Esquire's Survey of the American Woman & Find Out How You Compare!



For the Woman You've Only Been Dating for Two Weeks: A Hot Reservation:

Why she'll like it: Cooking for her may or may not be too intimate (more on that shortly), but "going for drinks" again may lead to absolutely nothing. Middle ground: Hit OpenTable.com for a reservation at a great new restaurant - late seatings should still be available, so you'll have time to loosen up with that drink beforehand.
Don't spend more than: $100; think off-the-beaten path bistro, not the fanciest joint in town.
Goes great with: Flowers; think peonies, tulips, or gerbera daisies ($15), not roses.
What you'll get: Your first sleepover with her.

Buying a woman lingerie can be a baffling experience, but this expert guide will explain why each kind costs so much and tell the guys xactly what to get her. Click below for our beginners' guide, and head to Esquire.com for all 12 tips.

ALSO: Take Esquire's Survey of the American Woman & Find Out How You Compare!




THONG:

What it is: Oh, you know what it is. (And if you don't: A minimal panty with a thin strip of fabric running up the back that leaves the derrière fully exposed.)

Who it's best for: Girls who already own them.

The experts say: Get a one-size-fits-all thong and choose one with a flat back panel that will lie smoothly against her body without causing muffin top. Hanky Panky has one of the most popular one-size thongs available, with a thick lace waistband that hides any extra around her middle. Hanky Panky thong, $18-20

What it is: A modernized version of a full

We don't think they're cute. We think they're funny. But after an exclusive embed with the creative team for E-Trade's 'milk-a-holic' commercial, we have some secrets (and photos of babies) to reveal. Head to Esquire.com for the complete scoop. In the meantime, here are five secrets from the timeline below.


The Baby Vomits:

February 3, 2008: The most talked-about ad during the Super Bowl is a twist on the webcam: a talking (and puking) baby. Giants beat Patriots, 17-14.

The Baby Gets a Friend:

February 1, 2009: The most talked-about ad during the Super Bowl is a twist on the talking baby: a singing baby, Steelers beat Cardinals, 27-23.

Go Here to Find Out How to Bet On The Superbowl -- Even if You Know Nothing About Football

Time for a New Baby:

February 2, 2009:E-Trade commits to a 2010 Super Bowl ad which, on average, will go for $2.8 million. "We never discussed not having the baby," Myhren says. "But the third year is always the hardest year because you've seen it twice -

For every halftime "wardrobe malfunction" and CSI theme-song medley, there's been a Michael Jackson Celebrity Deathmatch and, now, Lingerie Bowl. For better or worse, they've reminded us that the world does not, in fact, revolve around Pete Townshend's nose (unless you're Roger Daltrey). Below, you'll find 5 of our favorite attempts at half-time counterprogramming; Head to Esquire.com to watch video clips and see even more memorable moments.


Fear Factor Playmates Edition (2002)

If you were to argue that this was humanity's nadir, it would be hard to disagree. Because average Americans degrading themselves for money was insufficient entertainment for the biggest TV night of the year, producers added women with a proven willingness to remove their clothes. Click here for an insanely thorough recap of the events, courtesy of NBC. ("A deserted Western town greeted the four remaining Playmates as they sauntered in on day two...")

Fate: After one too many lawsuits (rat vomit,

We spoke to Victoria Secret models for reassuring advice from four of the most beautiful women we know. Because if chocolate and one-size-fits-all lingerie are good enough for them, it's good enough for any woman. Here's one piece of advice from each woman, and head to Esquire.com for even more tips and tricks.



Behati Prinsloo: "It's always a tough thing for a guy because there's a lot of expectation. I don't think women even really realize how stressful it is sometimes. For me, I love simple flowers or anything thoughtful. You don't have to go all-out and go crazy with lingerie if you don't want to. It depends on your girl, you know? If she's into that naughty stuff, go do that, because she would expect it."

(Check out Esquire's 10 rules for avoiding Valentines Day disaster)

Marisa Miller: "Hell, no! A lot of people say they are, but I'm never going to not like flowers, but any time your guy puts in some thought and does something sweet for you, that's gonna go a long way."

Help for Haiti Now is a great way for entertainers to get involved with the greatest of causes. But just ask Jerry Seinfeld (or, better yet, Bob Dylan): Entertainers getting involved with TV pledge drives, can also be pretty entertaining. As Mr. Feel Good hosts his telethon, look back at the must-give-TV moments when other stars of various wattages helped out causes of, well, various levels of merit. Head to Esquire.com for video clips of all these telethons, and five more must-see moments.

(PLUS: Here's Why George Clooney Is One of the 75 Best People in the World)


Kanye's Dirty Hurricane Mouth

Speking of easy targets, anyone on George Clooney's latest effort has George Bush's legacy to compete with - even Dubya himself. After all, footage of the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina - and the utter ineptitude of the Bush's response - left a nation outraged, depressed, and just baffled that it was happening. Somehow Kanye managed to articulate all these feelings in ninety barely