As NBC cuts O'Brien a venom-flavored severance check, measure his reportedly $40 million deal against the parting gifts for CEOs, celebrities, and Cheney to see if Team Conan will make it out alive. Some of the top buyouts are below, with even more at Esquire.com.
(What Does the Future of Late Night Look Like? Find out here.)
1. Chevy Chase (1993)
The Loot: $12 million (three of which he claims to have returned to Rupert Murdoch)
The Lowdown: When Fox decided to break into late night, it had the perfect candidate for a talk-show host: Dolly Parton. After she turned them, Conan's potential new network settled on an underrated Conan impersonator. Five glorious weeks of The Chevy Chase Show ensued.
The Aftermath: While his A-List days are an ever-fading memory, at least Chase is enjoying a more consistent run on NBC. Community looks like it'll last a whole season!
2. Dick Cheney (2000)
The Loot: $20+ million
The Lowdown: A man cannot run a defense contractor and the United States at the
Blog Posts by Esquire.com
- Esquire.com | Work + Money – Wed, Jan 20, 2010 7:05 PM EST
As NBC cuts O'Brien a venom-flavored severance check, measure his reportedly $40 million deal against the parting gifts for CEOs, celebrities, and Cheney to see if Team Conan will make it out alive. Some of the top buyouts are below, with even more at Esquire.com.Read More »from 5 Famous Contract Buyouts Conan (and You) Can Learn From
- Esquire.com | Work + Money – Fri, Jan 15, 2010 9:17 PM EST
In a sprawling discussion of his past and our common future, the former president compares his administration's early years with Obama's and talks about what he believes - in health care and next year's midterms - is about to happen. Or, you can head straight to Esquire.com and read the full transcript.
ESQUIRE: Based on your considerable experience in this area given your work in disaster relief after the South Asian tsunami, what do you project will be the recovery commitment by us and other nations after the acute crisis passes?(Check Out Esquire's Speculative Timeline of all that Will Happen in 2010)
BILL CLINTON: Well, first of all, I think we've got a week or ten days more where we're going to be digging out the living and the dead. Presumably by then we will have reconstituted the United Nations system. Keep in mind - let me back up and say that Edmond Mulet, who is the deputy secretary general for peacekeeping, was the predecessor of Mr. Annabi down in Haiti.Read More »from Bill Clinton on the Haiti Tragedy: An Exclusive Esquire Q&A
The Book of Eli star is "Miss Midwinter Pick-Me-Up 2010" in Esquire's new issue, and she's got some revealing thoughts on celebrity, too
1. She's not sure what to make of Megan Fox.
"She has a tendency to say absurd s--- and then see what happens. I hope she's fully consciously aware of what she's doing, because if she is, she's brilliant."
2. She wants a better class of paparazzi.
"Sometimes I'll get paparazzi, but it's only because someone else was here before me, and I'm like, 'Crap, I got the leftovers.'
3. She's not buying the gossip on plastic surgery.
One site alleges Kunis had a nose job, even though the before and after photos look identical. "Where are my boobs? If I were going to get plastic surgery, I'd get some real work done."
4. She hates talking about Ashton Kutcher's romantic prowess.
"Journalists will ask, 'Is he a good kisser?' It's no longer a cuteRead More »from 6 Things You Don't Know About Mila Kunis
- Esquire.com | Fashion – Tue, Jan 12, 2010 10:42 PM EST
Believe it or not, Monday's steroid "revelation" will somehow avoid going down as the top celebrity surprise on record. How many "duh" moments do you remember? Check out all 10 at esquire.com.Read More »from Duh! Celebrity Confessions Even Less Surprising than Mark Mcgwire's Steroid Use
The Top 5 Unsurprising Celebrity Apologies:
1. Whitney Houston:
She scored seven straight number-one singles (and that was before "I Will Always Love You"). Then Whitney married Bobby. She started missing performances. Worse, she started showing up on the reality show Being Bobby Brown, where Mr. Brown discussed reaching in her butt to help with a particularly trying "dookie bubble." A 2002 interview found Whitney asserting that "crack is whack," but in 2009, she opened up on Oprah's couch, saying her erratic behavior might be connected to her heavy drug use.
2. John Edwards
By the end of 2007, the National Enquirer had asserted Democratic presidential candidate (and husband of terminally ill Elizabeth) had an affair with campaign documentarian Rielle Hunter. Edwards decided to take bold
- Esquire.com | Work + Money – Mon, Jan 11, 2010 7:14 PM EST
Everyone's talking about Blago's "I'm blacker than Barack Obama" quote from Esquire's new issue. But what does it really mean? Find out below to see what he was talking about, and head to Esquire.com to find the rest of Blago's must-read quotes.Read More »from 5 Behind-the-Scenes Moments at Home with Former Illinois Gov. Blagojevich
1. "It's such a cynical business, and most of the people in the business are
full of s--- and phonies, but I was real, man - and am real. This guy, he
was catapulted in on hope and change, what we hope the guy is. What the
f--- ? Everything he's saying's on the teleprompter. I'm blacker than Barack
Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a
little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it
all growing up."
(Who paved the way for Blago's behavior? Find out here.)
2. "David Axelrod called me the day after John Kerry lost to Bush - Wednesday -
and he said, You need to think about running for president in 2008. A new
face from the Midwest to challenge Hillary Clinton. He used to
- Esquire.com | Parenting – Thu, Dec 24, 2009 7:18 PM EST
Suddenly, children are all over the house. Somehow, for a couple hours, you're in charge of keeping them occupied. But, with the right activities, turns out it's not all that hard.Read More »from The Best Ways To Entertain Kids This Holiday Season
Ages 0-1: You will not be responsible.
Ages 2-4: Play the game in which they close their eyes and you tap a different part of their face every time, generating incomprehensible but undeniable mirth.
Ages 5-6: Ask them to show you stuff. At this age, they're learning new tricks every day. Writing cursive. Making a sandwich. Peeing their name in the snow. Encourage them to show off. Act impressed.
Ages 8-10: Take them sledding, or at least sliding around the backyard. Bad sleds: garbage bags, doormats, Esquire back issues. Good sleds: trash-can lids, flattened cardboard boxes, actual sleds.
How do you entertain your kids? Post your advice below for other readers.
And for even more tips, including when to pop in a DVD, head to Esquire.com >>
- Esquire.com | Healthy Living – Thu, Dec 24, 2009 7:05 PM EST
From the snow-shoveling heart attack to the never-ending swine flu, the best doctor we know staves off end-of-the-year calamities. Because the holidays can kill you, Dr. Oz has stepped in to offer last-minute, life-saving tips for the days ahead.Read More »from Health-Care Reform to Use at Home This Holiday Season
Which bad-health ruts should I avoid while eating and drinking during the holidays?The first is lack of sleep. You've got parties to go to, family to visit, you're not sleeping in your own bed - it wears you down. I avoid sleeping aids if I can, so instead try an old trick: naps. Even 20 minutes in the afternoon can make a huge difference in your energy level. Second is alcohol. Calories, hangovers, and mood swings generally do not make for merriment. At the same time, a hot toddy can make all the Bing Crosby music easier to deal with. What can I say? Drink in moderation. And alternate each drink with a glass of water. The third is exercise. Each morning, before anything else, do a quick and simple workout.
Do people really have heart attacks
On this month's cover of Esquire, we have JFK, RFK, and Ted Kennedy as you've never heard seen or heard them before. Plus: head to Esquire.com for the complete Kennedy wisdom, an ominous Obama connection and a gallery of rare Esquire covers featuring the family. But, first, 10 secrets from Camelot:
10. I had a sit-down with my dad. He said, "Now, Teddy, you have to make up your mind whether you want to have a constructive and positive attitude and influence on your time. And if you're not interested in a purposeful, useful, constructive life, I just want you to know I have other children that are out there that intend to have a purposeful and constructive life." -Ted Kennedy, spring 2009
9. Did you ever make it with my father? ... Well, that's one place I'm in first. -John F. Kennedy, according to Marlene Dietrich, after having sex at the White House, 1962
8. Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person between Nixon and the White House. -JFK,Read More »from 10 Secrets of the Kennedy Dynasty Uncovered
Because Hollywood won't stop forcing crap into our busy holiday schedules. The ingredients for a modern Christmas film - one worth remembering, at least - may surprise you. (To read more Hollywood coverage from Esquire, click here.)
By S.T. VanAirsdale
As you find yourself boozily immersed in awkward conversation at holiday parties this month, try an experiment: Ask your new acquaintances what their favorite Christmas films are. I'll bet farthings to fruitcakes that you'll get a list no longer than a handful of predictable standards: It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, Miracle on 34th Street, Scrooged, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and maybe Elf or Bad Santa from folks who haven't seen any or all of the first five. Then, once that topic is exhausted (it won't take long), ask the same strangers to name the worst Christmas movie they've ever seen. (Speaking of movies, here's how you should entertain kids this holiday season.)
And watch the list expand. Read More »from Why Aren't There Any Good (New) Christmas Movies?
- Esquire.com | Author Blog Posts – Tue, Dec 1, 2009 9:21 PM EST
This morning, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, who snuck into Obama's State Dinner, were interviewed on the Today Show. But that couple is nothing compared to our list of real party crashers, who pushed boundaries beyond Pennsylvania avenue. See our top five below:Read More »from 5 Party Crashers Who Did More Than Slip Past Secret Service
1. Larry Eustachy
While coaching the Iowa State basketball team, Eustachy developed a coping mechanism for tough road losses: crashing student parties at the winning school. While this was unusual behavior for a coach from a rival program (not to mention a man in his mid-40s), both Larry and the coeds he encountered seemed to enjoy themselves, as documented in this photo. Others at Iowa State were more uptight than Coach Larry, and the publication of the snapshots led to his resignation (plus $960,000 in severance).
2. Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious & Nancy Rotten
The Sex Pistols always knew how to liven up a gathering (e.g., renting a boat to cruise the Thames blasting their version of "God Save the Queen" during Elizabeth II's