Blog Posts by Rich Santos, Marie Claire

It's dangerous to look at sex as the indicator of commitment. There are several subtle signs that people care on a deeper level that have nothing to do with sex.

The jerks out there want sex, and they'll do whatever they have to do to get it, including promising commitment with sex. But all too often it turns in to casual sex with no depth in the relationship.

I've never been able to date casually, or just "sleep with" a girl consistently. It's all so "grown up" to me. Or maybe I'm just too traditional.

My recently single friend, Doug, has been playing the field with a vengeance. He's had one night stands, and casual sex with a handful of women.

From my end, I can tell he's not in to any of these women beyond sex. He recently broke it off with a girl he was sleeping with, Jenn, because he's interested in another girl (Melissa) on a girlfriend level.

Jenn was upset when he broke it off, and I wondered why she was surprised that he wasn't in to her. He

It's scary that people were lining up during the wee hours on Black Friday morning just to shop. It's a noble cause, but I'd never partake in that activity.

I wonder how many husbands were dragged along, hoping there are some lucky ones had been left behind because their wives knew they would misbehave or pout.

One sacrifice we make in dating is participating in each other's activities. In relationships, it's a given that here are various "dates" that one participant will enjoy more.

Dating is a truly selfless act, and I've struggled to make this type of sacrifice. I'm hoping that when I meet the right girl, I'll enjoy doing anything with her because it's the right girl.

This may be fairy tale - from time to time, I've heard long term couples lament the things they don't like to do that the other makes them do.

Here are some dates and activities that are often loved by one person in a couple more than the other:

Shopping

I'm a woman's worst shopping

I've written about bad foods to eat on dates, but today I want to talk about how awkward it is when there's a disconnect on food preference.

Things get weird when you go to your significant others' house for a holiday and they have a strange family recipe that freaks you out.

My family is more carnivorous than a Tyrannosaurus Rex. If anyone ever brought home a vegetarian significant other, there would be problems. These problems wouldn't occur because my family doesn't respect vegetarians. The problems would stem from the fact that my family simply doesn't have vegetarian dishes in the family recipe inventory outside of vegetable soup (I think it's even beef-based), salads, and pasta.

So, the vegetarian entering my house (cave) with my family (carnivorous cave people) would feel awkward.

Do we need to consider another person's eating habits when we are deciding if they are compatible with us? If we do, that might explain why I have so much trouble finding someone:

They say "opposites attract." Then they turn around and say it's important to have a lot in common to be compatible. Attraction is complex, because both statements are true.

It's not like two magnets coming together. It's more like puzzle pieces fitting: some things are alike, some are opposite, and they complement each other to fit together.

I've been thinking about what elements in a woman's personality must be opposite, and what things she must have in common with me. Maybe, once I meet the girl who has the right mix, things will work out.

Here is the list I've come up with:

Must Have In Common

A Love of Animals

I haven't killed a bug since I was little. I don't see why I have the right to kill, even if it's small and gross. My dream girl doesn't have to love bugs, but some women even find cats or dogs gross or annoying.

One of the cats I adopted had a sad story. His owner was a guy who was moving in with his girlfriend, but with one stipulation.

I celebrated Thanksgiving early this past weekend with my family, and I was once again reminded of how I enjoy dating during the holidays. Of course, I'm single, so it was a more acute reminder of the fun it could be to date during the holidays.

My family's traditions formed a base for my love of the holidays. Every year there was something fun to look forward to.

I put together a list that may inspire you (and me!) to go on a few holiday dates.

Here are my reasons:

My "First Love" Blossomed During the Holidays

When I was 17, my first "official girlfriend" and I started "officially dating" on December 1. She lived in a beautiful old house in Baltimore near Johns Hopkins University.

The one visual I remember clearly is the huge Christmas tree they had in the front of the house in a bay window. Because the ceilings were so high, the tree was gigantic-maybe ten feet.

She and I were sitting in the room with the Christmas tree, chatting. She was wearing a

I'm reading Lucy Moore's Anything Goes about the Roaring 20's in America. In those days, women began to shed the homemaker role, and exalted in their independence. They "roared" along with the decade, and they did this partially through celebrating their beauty.

In the 20's, starlets were hitting the silver screen with attitude, and flappers danced and drank with the best of them. Women began wearing makeup extensively, to capture the glamour they saw on the silver screen. In fact, Max Factor coined the term "make-up" for his product in 1920, and Chanel No. 5 debuted in 1921.

Women found a bold voice, while accentuating and basking in their beauty. And this contributed to their newfound independence.

But after a discussion with some friends in my office, I'm wondering if beauty has become detrimental. Has it gone from empowerment to pressure?

In my office, we were discussing girls' obsession with bags. I don't just mean regular bags that you grab and pack up for an

Years ago there was a stigma with meeting people on dating sites. These days, with the rise of social networking, it's more accepted. Outside of the regular dating sites, one could argue that adding a friend on Facebook is grounds for online dating-especially if you're like me and friend adding is as important as getting a phone number.

I can't bring myself to join a dating site. I have no issues with people who have joined them-my cousin met his wife on a dating site.

I have my reasons for not signing up:

First of all, I don't want extra help to meet someone. I am afraid signing up for a dating site is an admission that I could not meet a girl and attract her on my own. However, plenty of people have trouble meeting that special someone.

Secondly, like I just wrote, I'm looking for a storybook meeting and relationship. The mechanical world of online dating doesn't allow for this story. But perhaps after a few dates that grow out of an online setup, that story

Does love require beating odds, versus being convenient? You can:

Fall in love by shooting the moon. You win over your unreachable target despite the odds against you.

Fall in love out of convenience: You settle out of necessity: it's more about partnership than passion.

I'm searching for a love story.

Often, my friends say: "Just go for her. She's so in to you," about a girl I'm not into. It's like saying: "Well Girl A that I really want doesn't like me, but Girl B who I'm not into at all likes me, so I'll just give up and go for her."

I want to fall in love by conquering barriers, so I often look for situations with barriers.

Here are a few examples of romantic "barriers":

Against All Odds

I'm guilty of looking for the ultimate beauty, perfect girl. Because she's so perfect, it will be an uphill climb for me to win her over, but if I do, won't life be perfect?

Love at First Sight

When I'm out I sometimes spot that glowing girl, standing out