Blog Posts by Rich Santos, Marie Claire

When I was dating my last girlfriend, I got spiteful at times. When she forgot to text me when she got home after going out with her friends, I vowed to "forget" to tell her when I got home after a night out. When she'd forget to write back to a question via text, I'd add to my running tally of times I'd ignore her questions on text. It was an eye for an eye...and somewhat immature.

Dating makes us vengeful. Here are some examples of how we seek revenge in dating:

Flirting
This kind of revenge plays itself out consistently throughout relationships. Usually, when a couple goes out, one person in the couple gets hit on or talks "too long" to someone of the opposite sex.

At this point, the other person in the couple can either integrate themselves into the conversation, stand there looking stupid, or flirt someone on their own for their significant other to see. Sometimes, it's about saying: "Hey look, I'm desirable too," or "if you're going to flirt, then I will

I've said many times I wish I could be a "dude" about sex and think: "Wow, I'm nailing this chick." Unfortunately, I have other thoughts racing through my head and most of these thoughts have to do with what's going to go wrong.

Here is a sampling of my insecurities in bed:

Is She Freaked Out by My Penile Abnormalities?
Ever since the first time I entered a guy's locker room, I felt different. Unfortunately, this feeling didn't stem from being incredibly blessed in size. It actually stemmed from the fact that I was always the ONE guy who was uncircumcised. I feel like women are much more used to dealing with circumcised penises.

On top of this, my experience with testicular cancer left a few marks down there. The long scar from my first surgery looks like a hernia incision. While this isn't too freaky, I do experience numbness down there on that side from time to time, and I'm definitely aware of this tingling during sex.

I'm also insecure about the fact that I

A while back I asked if women enjoy sex even when they don't orgasm.

Now I'm wondering if sex is bad for a woman if the guy doesn't orgasm. I'll be completely candid here: I don't orgasm often during oral sex or intercourse. What is the cause of this phenomenon? I'm not sure, but I have a few theories about my affliction:

Too Much Self-Stimulation
I satisfy myself quite often. All this self-stimulation not only tires me out, but it creates a high standard for physical pleasure because I'm the only one who knows exactly what I want. Masturbation is isolating: I am more comfortable orgasming by myself than with another person.

Crisis Thinking
During sex, I worry about anything and everything from losing my erection, to the girl not enjoying it. I wish I could be a regular dude and think: "Man, I'm nailing this chick right now," but I can't.

Performance Anxiety
During foreplay, the crazy thought that enters my head is often, "Oh man, we might have to have sex." It's not that I don't

The other night I was talking with friends about how awkward it is to meet people at bars. The women in the conversation were sharing their frustration with the whole "getting the number" process. They feel they have to give their number out to be friendly (and to get a guy to go away if he's hitting on her). But some guys make it tough for girls to be nice.

The common move among guys (I'm guilty of this one too), after getting a girl's number, is calling her phone to confirm that that it's real and that his number is now registered in her phone. Most guys will watch the girl's phone as they call it to make sure there's no funny business going on. Essentially, cell phones have made it impossible for a girl to give a guy the wrong number.

The best way for a girl to avoid that awkward first date is to not give her number out in the first place. As a guy, I know the ins and outs of the phone number game. If a cute girl is giving me any sign of hope, I'm going to try for those digits. I

Recently, my friend asked me to help her build an online dating profile. While I don't think it's necessary to have a professional write your profile, the online profile is essentially a digital "resumé," and like writing a resumé you have to spend some time figuring the best way to highlight your attributes and set the tone of your personality.

This particular friend is one of the few people I know that I can't say anything bad about. In order to convey her brilliance through her profile we decided to adhere to a few rules while constructing our masterpiece. Here they are:

Choose the Right Community
Online dating is helpful because you're able to choose the type of environment you want to explore. Some sites allow you to find Jewish singles, some allow you to meet through community service, and some even allow you to find someone to cheat with if you're married.

Be Honest and Accurate
I'm a proponent of honesty, even in an online environment where it's so easy to lie. People need

I recently a read a Q&A in which a woman describes struggling with dating a "nice guy." Everything is going well until they have sex - it's bad. I thought it was a shame that a relationship that seemed to be heading in the right direction could be derailed by problems in the bedroom. I'm not going to argue that sex can't destroy a relationship, but I think, sometimes, bad sex can get better.

Couples can overcome physical challenges. In the beginning, it's tough to know what your partner enjoys. So, being "off rhythm," touching the wrong spots, or being a poor kisser can be fixed. Physically, you can experiment and coach each other on your likes and dislikes. After a while, you'll know what to do, and how long to do it. With work, communication, and honesty, bad sex based on physical issues can be improved.

But if it's a mental disconnect that's making sex unsatisfying, it's tougher to fix. A friend of mine once told me that sex with her boyfriend was so boring, she used to count the

Many people get into dating situations that are doomed from the start. I have a habit of doing it unconsciously, and some of my friends actually admit they do it on purpose: they fear being hurt or getting too close to anyone. There are many tactics out there to keep yourself single. Here are a few:

Getting Stuck On an Ex
It's impossible to form a healthy relationship if you're still obsessed with your ex. When you meet someone new you'll wonder if it's ruining your chances of ultimately getting back together with your ex.

Going For Taken Guys/Gals
A classic move to avoid success. It's not that you're a wannabe homewrecker. You probably rationalize your behavior: "if they honestly choose me over their current significant other then it's best for all of us." The reality is that if you're going after a taken person, you're already behind the eight ball. Even if you're attracted to each other, the chances of it working out are still severely limited.

Dating a Jerk,

A recent USA Today article cited sexting/texting as a gateway to cheating. The article argued that the internet has supplied yet another way to meet candidates for extra-marital affairs. Social media makes it easy to connect with new acquaintances, and re-connect with old flames.

A few flirtatious words or salacious pictures do get the blood boiling. The communication may be a seed for a clandestine meeting, as a couple seeks release from all that flirtatious buildup.

But I would argue that internet connections and sexting could be helpful for couples. Yeah, sure, Anthony Wiener is a dirtball, but he (allegedly) didn't actually have extra-marital sex in reality. In fact, he says he didn't even touch another woman.

Some may say that Wiener cheated - after all, he got aroused with another woman - and maybe it was only a matter of time before he graduated to full on cheating after his sexting. But, what if the sexting release was enough to satisfy his need for another