Blog Posts by Rich Santos, Marie Claire

The best thing about bad dates is that we walk away with a great story, and little doubt that the perpetrator is not the person for us.

I was thinking about some of the common errors made on first dates. I came up with 10 common mistakes that could kill the chances for a second date:

1. Arriving Late
Even five minutes of lateness is inexcusable on the first date. People are already anxious on these excursions, so making someone wait and think more about everything is pretty rude. Seems like the trend in NYC is to be late for things regularly. On one date, I texted the girl and told her I was running late. She said she was too. We ended up just having the date ½ hour later than planned and technically no one was late because we were both ½ hour late together.

2. Having a Wardrobe Malfunction
Make sure you cater what you wear to what you're doing. I try not to make a girl walk too much if she's in heels. Also, I've seen girls wear pearls and a nice blouse to

I've said many times I wish I could be a "dude" about sex and think: "Wow, I'm nailing this chick." Unfortunately, I have other thoughts racing through my head and most of these thoughts have to do with what's going to go wrong.

Here is a sampling of my insecurities in bed:

Is She Freaked Out by My Penile Abnormalities?
Ever since the first time I entered a guy's locker room, I felt different. Unfortunately, this feeling didn't stem from being incredibly blessed in size. It actually stemmed from the fact that I was always the ONE guy who was uncircumcised. I feel like women are much more used to dealing with circumcised penises.

On top of this, my experience with testicular cancer left a few marks down there. The long scar from my first surgery looks like a hernia incision. While this isn't too freaky, I do experience numbness down there on that side from time to time, and I'm definitely aware of this tingling during sex.

I'm also insecure about the fact

It's chilly in NYC. This is certainly a letdown, considering spring has arrived.

To get myself into a better mood, I'm going to discuss a few findings from a Wet Intimacy Products survey:

• 67% of respondents said they become more interested in sex when the weather starts getting warmer.
• 74% said that they feel sexier during the warmer seasons.
• 38% of respondents said they find that their inhibitions are lower in the warmer months.
• 49% are more likely to flirt with a stranger when the weather starts getting warmer.
• 38% of respondents are more likely to have a one night stand when the weather starts getting warmer.

What is it about warmer weather, or "spring fever" that amps our libido into high gear? Here are my reasons:

We Are Animals
The mating process consists of everything from flirting to sex In the spring, we're surrounded by pheromones and pollen. Reproduction is in the air. Perhaps we haven't evolved beyond the instinctive desire to

When I was dating my last girlfriend, I got spiteful at times. When she forgot to text me when she got home after going out with her friends, I vowed to "forget" to tell her when I got home after a night out. When she'd forget to write back to a question via text, I'd add to my running tally of times I'd ignore her questions on text. It was an eye for an eye...and somewhat immature.

Dating makes us vengeful. Here are some examples of how we seek revenge in dating:

Flirting
This kind of revenge plays itself out consistently throughout relationships. Usually, when a couple goes out, one person in the couple gets hit on or talks "too long" to someone of the opposite sex.

At this point, the other person in the couple can either integrate themselves into the conversation, stand there looking stupid, or flirt someone on their own for their significant other to see. Sometimes, it's about saying: "Hey look, I'm desirable too," or "if you're going to flirt, then I will

I recently stumbled upon an interesting graphic in Newsweek highlighting a study from the dating site OKCupid, suggesting great questions for a first date.

The questions showed a high percentage of compatible people agreeing, which is why OKCupid uses the questions to match people up - the questions are "not too personal" but might lead to more personal discussion.

Here are a few of the questions:

Question #1: Do you like scary movies?
Of compatible respondents, 74% agreed they like scary movies

I am a scary movie geek and I get way too excited talking about them. I think it makes me look creepy - I should get geeked up about puppies instead (actually, that's kind of creepy too).

My favorite is the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. First dates including the words "chainsaw," and "massacre" in succession usually don't go too well. "Texas," however, is totally fine. It's polarizing: you either love or hate scary movies. And if I can connect with someone on

The other day some guys and I were discussing the "innocent girl" versus the "bad girl." Across the board, the guys agreed they prefer an innocent woman over a "bad girl."

It's important to own whatever mojo you have, because we do pay attention to that overall aura you're giving off. And sometimes we go for the opposite of what we went for in the past - but we definitely bucket women into innocent or bad.

It's tough, though, because, while we like innocent women, we don't like to be bored. On the other hand, a crazy bad girl is too much. I like an innocent girl with a bad streak that comes out once in a while.

My buddies and I also theorized that women all go through a bad guy phase. It was an interesting epiphany, and one that may be way off, like most of the theories my buddies and I make about women.

Here are some reasons guys like innocent girls:

Corrupting Innocence is Fun
The reason I think the buttoned up business look is so hot on women is that

I recently came across an article that enlightened me (and scared me). The article argues that the influx of internet porn is causing men to lose their libidos and expect outlandish behavior in bed.

My porn habits have evolved throughout my illustrious masturbatory career. I went from scavenging 70's Playboys to videos - either certified straight up porn or late night Cinemax.

But then I discovered the internet. It's crazy that those same videos and magazines that I found so arousing no longer get me going. I need the internet - when I discuss it with my friends (yes, guys discuss masturbation with the ease and confidence that doctors discuss treatments for patients), I tout that I'm now "100% digital" (so Y2K). Most of my buddies consume pornography like I do. Print and TV are old school.

Taking into consideration my own experience and history with pornography, I agreed with many of the points the author made. Here are a few ways that pron has affected my love

My editor sent me a fascinating story about the business behind the site Ashley Madison. For those of you who are not familiar with the site, its mission is to provide people seeking affairs the environment to pursue the fantasy. It's a dating site where cheaters meet (online first) and later in person.

My knee-jerk reaction was to dismiss Ashley Madison as exploitive filth.

But then I thought more about it and realized that people are going to find a way to cheat with or without Ashley Madison. I don't buy into the CEO's argument that the site is actually saving marriages by providing a secret outlet, but I do think there's more to blame than just the site.

It's the age-old argument: do you blame the drug user or the drug dealer? Drugs and cheating are activities that draw weak people. There's an exploitive element to Ashley Madison: inviting people at weak moments in their lives to act on their desire to stray from their significant other. But, in the end, people