Blog Posts by Monika Basile

His eye is on the sparrow

Hey, Mom and Dad? Now don't get mad but…I got a tattoo.

I know. I know. I know. I'm too old for this and it's permanent and I didn't even get it in a truly hidden place. It's on my leg and I can't erase it. It was a gift and it actually reminds me of other gifts. So bare with me as I share the meaning-and it really means a whole lot if you see the bigger picture…

These past few years have been an absolute hell for too many reasons-so many reasons. I have been angry a lot-angry at life and the way everything seems to be turning out and challenging me at every turn, angry that there is this amount of hurt in one woman's life and angry at God. I felt like he had taken his eyes off me to allow me to go through the tragedies I have had to endure. I even said it out loud one day when I was watching the sparrows flit around the patio at the group home. Sitting there in the midst of a heart break, I whispered those words out loud, "Your eye is on the sparrow God, but surely you

Valentine

I think if I see one more article about Valentine's Day I will scream! (Except for my own)

Let's just add a few numbers to it to make it more believable.

86 ways to catch a man by the big V Day.

13 ways to make your woman crazy with happiness by the big plans for the romantic weekend.

47 of the worst gifts you could ever buy that will send your true love out screaming in the streets.

6,792 reasons to be happy you are single on Valentine's Day.

The headlines scream it from every magazine and internet website. How do they know and who the hell are they asking to actually find out what they think they know?

Yet-ashamedly, I have been sucked in and reading these obnoxious articles. I have yet to find one bit of truth in any of it though. Why do I continue to explore what anyone has to say about these matters when I find most of it pure idiocy?

Here is what I have to say about it because I feel the need to add my two cents:

There is no secret

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I think the oldest girl in my odd assorted household said it best, "We are a tribe…"

She pinned the tail on the donkey with that statement. Most people do not understand how the connection among us is as strong as it is since we are not all blood. In our family, when horror hits, we gather round as if we all came from the same place though in reality-we come from very different places.

In days gone by, when a person was without a parent, a sibling, a grandfather, etc., they were taken into another family and told, "You are part of us now." It didn't seem unusual like it does now. It used to be a normal thing to take care of others and not something eccentric or noble. It isn't either of those things. It's what humanity should be.

Most people on the outside looking in never realize that ties of love bind us intricately and make us forget that we are not related. People wonder all the time how each of us is there--too closely immersed in each other's lives, to ever

Mix ups for Match ups...

Free-online-dating

To Whom It May Concern( this is an open letter to Match.com, OKCupid, Plentyoffish, or any other online dating site who presumes to know who would be my best match):

Each of your organizations claims to know my "perfect" match. I think not and you are proving it each day.

Number one: I am a smoker, so when you match me up with someone who finds smoking to be disgusting, I have already lost the game here.

Number two: I like men, and only men. When you match me up with someone whom is bisexual or female-I think you must be unaware of my preference.

Number three: I have many children and I do not desire any more. When you match me up with child haters or even from the other spectrum-men who want a million more-again, this is not a clever match.

Number four: I answered on your questionnaire that I will not relocate to China or any other far off land and that I am only willing to travel within a fifty mile radius. Your scientific

Women-holding-hands

Will I make it?

This is a question I recently heard a young woman ask of herself. I have asked myself that same question as I am sure many women do.

I wonder why we as women have such a shaky faith in ourselves to get through the hardest times of our lives. Why is it that in the midst of chaos or heartache, there is a voice that whispers, "Will I make it?" and then we wait-to see if an answer comes out of the darkest moments? If we are still here, then obviously the answer has come.

I am not sure if men have that same voice or not. I have never been a man so I can not presume to know what they think. It just appears that men have much more faith in themselves. I hear them say, "I'll figure it out." and "I'll find the answer." I rarely hear them say, "I don't know if I'll survive this." Is it a conditioning in their lives or is there something, inherent inside of men, to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel even if it's just a tiny pin prick and barely

Man

The things I admire about men are not what they would ever imagine.

I love a man who can plunge a toilet and actually know what the hell he is doing. I love a man who sits down at new electronic equipment and is determined enough to figure out how to hook it up and get it working. I admire the man who knows that when a car is running funny to check the oil, the fluids and then every thing-a-ma-bob until they get it working again. I am astounded when I watch a man build something and measure and saw and hammer and a few bits of wood, wire, nuts and screws becomes something wondrous like a tree house or a swing set or a beautiful cabinet.

I find it amazing when a man can go to work in a suit and tie and never look uncomfortable or out of place. I like that even if they are clueless on a particular project at a job, they never let anyone see them sweat and still seem professional. I am astounded when he can take a reaming from his boss or superiors and not feel the need

Baby jesus

I have never had what would be called a "beautiful" Christmas tree. I think it would be more accurately called a "Christmas Catastrophe in a wobbly stand-with lights."

I know the perfectionists out there are cringing as they picture the visual of it. I come from a long line of perfect trees and have never been able to create one of my own. Not that I haven't tried-it just never works out that way.

Christmas years ago, my first truly in an adult world, I had a Charlie Brown tree with missing branches and I made the ornaments all myself. I strung popcorn for hours (because wasn't that supposed to be fun and no one ever told me it took HOURS to do it) only to have the dog eat most of it off the tree. It was also when I learned tinsel on a tree is not a good thing to have when you have animals-they like to eat it. And how I realized this was by chasing the darn dog through the house with paper towels trying to catch the sparkly dingle berry dangling from her butt when she

Elegant lady

Maybe I expect too much. Maybe I am being unrealistic in what I think is the way a lady should be treated.

I have met a wide variety of men in my life. Some wonderful, some not so wonderful. I find it difficult to distinguish between the two at times. One sure fire way to send me running in the opposite direction is to assume that I am anything other than a lady.

Oh, I can be just as raunchy as the next gal-the difference is-a lady keeps those thoughts to herself and then blows a man away when they are uttered in private moments. A lady should never reveal her true inner wantonness for the entire world to see-that should be saved specifically for the man she chooses to be with. Some may think that boring, some may think it old fashioned-I merely think it is the truth of the woman I am.

My love once told me a story about a man who wanted a woman and he said it reminded him of me. "He kept saying all kinds of things, 'Hey baby, let's get it on. Do me, etc…" (But in