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    Blog Posts by Parentables

    • Please Mom, Don't Force Me to Sleep Over

      Princess bed."Mommy, please don't force me to go," my six-year-old daughter, Maia, sobbed into my chest the night before a weekend visit with her dad. She had a cold and just wanted to stay home in her room.

      "You have to go," I tell her. "Your dad misses you. He wants to spend time with you." Then, we go over the fun stuff they have planned. I don't add that there is nothing I can do. Maia spends two weekends a month at her dad's house. She knows this, but it doesn't stop her from asking.

      Read More: You Can't Tell Me What to Do, You Are Not My Mother

      Can't you just talk to him, she'll say. You used to be married-- Maia references photos archived by my mother for her to keep as she grows up. There are shots from our wedding, vacations, past Christmases, basketball tournaments, road races and hiking trips. In them, Maia sees our messy apartments and Emma, the dog she knows as her own.

      This is the only way Maia knows her father and I as a couple. She's never lived with him; we split

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    • 19% of Brits Think Alcohol Makes Them a Better Parent

      Bottom's up.When British Prime Minister David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter in the pub, there were no doubt plenty of snide remarks made around the world about us Brits and our alcohol intake.

      A new study by British charity 4Children is only likely to add fuel to that fire. Entitled Over The Limit: The Truth About Families and Alcohol, among the report's findings were the following troubling statistics:

      • 22% of children live with a parent who drinks hazardously
      • More than a third of all domestic violence cases involve alcohol
      • 19% of parents believe that drinking alcohol has a positive effect on their parenting

      This last statistic particularly caught my eye - because depending on how the question is worded, I might actually be one of the 19%.

      Read More: Real Parents Weigh In: Would You Serve Alcohol to Your Teen At Home?

      I do not, for a moment, suggest that I am a better parent after I have had a drink - but I am not sure I am a worse one either. I do think

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    • Michelle Duggar on Life, Death, and the "Bambi" Problem

      Is it over yet?The other night, we picked Bambi for movie night for the younger kids. It's so sad in the beginning when Bambi's mother dies, but the kids were really sweet about the way they handled it.

      They were watching the movie, and it came to the part where the movie looks so real and the music is very dramatic. I was standing in the kitchen doing something at the sink (our family area is very open so we can all be together) when Hannie, my 6 year old, came running over crying. She grabbed a hold of me and buried her face. She said, "Mommy, I don't like this part of the movie." And I told her, "Oh, Hannie, you know what, if you don't want to watch that part, you hang out over here. Keep your head turned the other way. Or you can go color in the office over there until it's over."

      Read More: Michelle Duggar on Helping Her Kids Through a Crisis

      That's okay for the little ones. I know that sometimes the music in the part of the film where the mommy dies can be too much, and they

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    • How Do You Involve Your Kids in Household Chores?

      Squeaky clean? Or redo.Here's how the child labor breaks down in our house: Ava, who is 14, is in charge of taking out the trash, setting the table, and vacuuming the house once a week. Chet, who is 11, takes out the recycling, clears the table, and Swiffers the bathroom floors once a week. Allowance is five dollars/week, and though they sometimes complain, and we prod and remind, prod and remind, the chores do get done.

      Read More: 3 Reasons My Kid Love to Do Chores Without Me Even Asking

      Chores for our 6-year-old, Maia, have been a work in progress. She was assigned to sweeping under the kitchen table after dinner. But the little pile never seemed to make it from the dustpan all the way into the trash. This is the problem with assigning chores to the little ones. I like the idea of her contributing and feeling like she is a part of the work of the household, but often I wind up having to re-do the "work" she does, so when I'm feeling tired, it's easier to just let her off the hook.

      Read

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    • Parenting Through Problems Pooping

      Potty time."Kids do not poop in school (humph). That is just gross," I heard my 11-year-old stepson, Chet, advising my six-year-old, Maia.

      Maia came home from school yesterday with a bellyache from withholding poop. She feels it is inappropriate to poop in school, and apparently so does her brother.

      Read More: The Poop O-Phobe's Guide to Successful Potty Training

      Years back, potty training went smoothly once Maia decided she was ready to soil the Dora toilet. But around the age of three, she developed terrible constipation. The doctor advised drinking gallons of water, cutting out bananas and using enemas. My poor child would become so impacted, she'd sit screaming on the toilet, eventually passing blood-streaked stool. Sometimes I'd have to help with a Vaseline covered finger. Filed away in my mind as another thing "I never imagined doing for someone until I had kids."

      I started to wonder if Freud was right and my child was becoming an "anal retentive" personality, trying so

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    • What It’s like to Be a Work-at-Home Mom

      Laptop picnic.I was a full-time working mom for a few months after my daughter was born, and let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I was prisoner-of-war exhausted. That time was a blur. A highly unpleasant blur: sleepless nights followed by commuting, working all day, commuting home, washing breast pump parts, packing daycare bags, more not-sleeping... I was going off the rails on a crazy train, to borrow some prose from Ozzy Osbourne. When I was laid off from my job, after the shock factor faded, I was left with pure relief.

      Now I stay at home with my daughter while I work. I'm a freelance writer. I'm also busy launching my own business, which will inspire others who are considering getting off the crazy train of fulltime office work in pursuit of a more fulfilling lifestyle.

      So What's it Like to Be a Work From Home Mom?

      Physically, it feels great right now. I'm getting enough sleep (except when I stay up too late of my own volition.) I'm getting regular,

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    • Michelle Duggar's Secrets for Getting Musical Instruments on the Cheap

      That's a tiny violin!We have been playing instruments for quite some time, and when you've been involved in music for a while, you develop many contacts that are teachers who know what is best for their students. When we acquired our first piano years ago, we didn't know anything about purchasing a piano. We were able to ask teachers, some of whom had more than 30 years of experience, "What would be your favorite piano that would not take up a lot of space, but still have good sound?" They were glad to give us their input.

      Read More: The Duggar's Instant Stress Buster: Music

      We spent several months looking through the newspaper, trying to find the right one. One day we got a phone call from a piano teacher that knew of our search. They had found a really nice piano for sale from its original owner at a great price. That's how we got our first piano!

      Read More: Movie Night at the Duggar's

      It may not be immediate gratification like when you buy something you want on credit. With credit

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    • Black Hair Versus White Stepmom

      Pretty.My step-daughter, Ava, just turned 14. When I met her at nine, she rocked a gorgeous, voluminous Afro. Back then, her dad deep conditioned and picked through Ava's curls once as week in front of the television.

      Read More: Gabby Douglas: A Hero, Her Hair, My Heartache

      As she got older, Trey tried to get Ava to take over some of the work of caring for her hair, but Ava said she'd rather have someone else do it (wouldn't we all). Enter stepmom in training. Once in a while, Trey would ask me to condition and blow dry Ava's hair. But anyone who knows me understands I'm not much of a hairstylist. I am a white woman with tangled, wavy hair that is getting less blonde each day. I get haircuts and highlights 3-4 times a year if I can afford it.

      Still, Trey said, "Come on, you know about this girl stuff."

      Read More: How Do We Respectfully Teach Young Girls About Beauty?

      Ava only wears her hair free on the weekends. To go to school, she insists on a tight bun with a

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    • Using the Scientific Method to Get Your Kids to Eat Their Veggies

      YUM!Fed up with pouts and whines at the dinner table, I knew I had to take action to get my second grader to eat his vegetables. Like lightning, mid-meal, the brainstorm of a lifetime struck. Mommy brilliance is a rare and beautiful thing; and therefore, dear reader, I shall share my epiphany with you.

      Read More: Teach Your Child to Eat (and Like!) Vegetables

      There are two truths about my son. He loves science and hates vegetables. So, thought I, was there a way to use his love of science to turn his hatred of vegetables around? Oh yes, indeed there was.

      I prepped him the next morning.

      "Tonight, at dinner, we're going to do a science experiment," I informed him.

      "What kind?" His interest was piqued.

      "A cool kind," I said coolly. "You'll be the scientist, I'll be your assistant."

      Off to school he went, just dying to know what madness I had in mind.

      Read More: Don't Hide Those Vegetables

      I went to the grocery store and bought one of every vegetable. One

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    • "My Teacher Doesn't Think I'm Good at Reading."

      Books!"Mum, my teacher doesn't think I'm good at reading," my daughter, Maia, said when she got off the bus yesterday. No mother wants to hear this.

      Processing over Pirate Booty, I figured out the first grade teacher did not actually say this to Maia. She had just assigned kids to reading "bins" and "buddies." The bins contain books that are appropriate for the reading level at which each student has been assessed. And the kids read with buddies who are around the same reading level as them.

      Read More: Is Your Child Ready for School?

      Of course they don't use labels like the "smart bin." But kids measure their abilities against their peers. Maia knows she's at level four, and there is a kid in her class at level 16!

      Maia attended Montessori preschool, which focused on learning through guided play. She knew about Picasso and the solar system, but she did not learn sight words. Most studies say teaching kids to read and write earlier and earlier doesn't necessarily mean better

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