To snip or not to snip? That is the question.Before I gave birth to our first child six years ago, my husband and I discussed our son and the manner in which he would be raised at length. Lying in bed at night my husband would run his hands over the curve of my belly while we talked quietly about everything from the name he would be given to whether he would attend public or private schools. We agreed that our son would be vaccinated, that he would not be baptized, and that motherhood would not be the end of my career.
One question we did not answer until a nurse posed it in the hours after delivery, my newborn baby boy nestled snugly in the bend of my arm, was whether or not our son would be circumcised.
"Absolutely not," my husband replied without a glance in my direction. While my gut instinct was to agree with him, I was caught off guard by his prompt response and the finality with which it was delivered without my input. My mind flashed back to an experience I had long before he and I met, a former boyfriend who was very
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Read More »from Join Our #LoveAfterKids Twitter Party!
Join us for a fun convo about keeping love alive after having kidsLet's face it: trying to balance a romantic relationship with the demands of modern-day child rearing can be as hard as trying to scrub peanut butter out of your white cashmere sweater.
Thankfully, YourTango experts have come to the rescue! We asked counselors, therapists, coaches and others some probing questions about how to keep the spark alive no matter how many times your kids douse it with colorful fruit juices or flush it down the toilet just to "see what happens," and they came back with some terrific responses.
YourTango.com invites you to join us on Tuesday, September 11 for two hours as we share the questions and answers and enjoy insightful discussion about methods to make sure that your relationship stands the test of time - and tiny fingers.
Here are the party details:
When: Tuesday, September 11, 2:00 - 4:00 p.m. EST
Where: Twitter.com/yourtango
Who: @YourTango and @YTExperts will be hosting the party-follow both of us for optimal interaction!
How: When the partySo Long, Kate White: 7 Love Lessons from 'Cosmo'
By YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Wed, Sep 5, 2012 7:40 PM EDT
Read More »from So Long, Kate White: 7 Love Lessons from 'Cosmo'
Cosmopolitan magazine's editor-in-chief Kate White is departing after 14 years.Your Cosmo may soon get a makeover.
Hearst announced this week that Kate White is leaving her editor-in-chief position at Cosmopolitan after 14 years to focus on speaking engagements and book-writing. A 61-year-old mother of two, she told the New York Times, "I'm looking forward to working just 55 hours a week." Joanna Coles, the editor-in-chief of Marie Claire magazine, will replace White later this month.
Whatever you think of Cosmo - and chances are, you have a strong opinion one way or the other - we decided to ask our favorite women's lifestyle editors and our Twitter followers what lessons it has taught them over the years. With the recent death of legendary Cosmo editor and single-girl extraordinaire Helen Gurley Brown, we thought it would be the perfect time to examine some of the love lessons (and wacky sex tips) the magazine has imparted on us.
1. BE BOLD. Well, Cosmo's tip about putting a donut around a man's penis definitely taught me that all the men I've slept with must
Read More »from Is Child Autism a Risk for Older Dads?
Men have more of a biological clock than we thought.Since the invention of Viagra, life has been pretty awesome for the older guy. It's been a little like being Catholic: You could go bananas for years, and then settle into the role of a family man around the time you start losing your fastball. It's been a pretty good system, keeping older fellas and younger ladies together, with each something to offer for the other. The arrangement's been perfect because a guy's DNA factory keeps cranking out the sticky stuff late into life.
But a recent study out of Iceland, which found a correlation between autism and the (advanced) age of the father, reminds us that nature does not give out free lunches. Here's the deal: The older a man gets, the more mutations there are in his sperm, affecting the probability of a child ending up with disorders such as autism and schizophrenia. The study found that the age of the mother has no bearing on these disorders. The mutations that occur in sperm, per the Icelandic study, may account for 20 to 30 percentWho Should Be the Priority: Your Husband or Your Children?
By YourTango.com | Parenting – Wed, Sep 5, 2012 6:59 PM EDT
Read More »from Who Should Be the Priority: Your Husband or Your Children?
Who comes first in your household?A survey of counseling professionals from YourTango.com-the digital leader in love and relationships-offers surprising insights into the romantic relationships of couples with kids. Shockingly, the survey reveals that half of experts polled agree: wives should prioritize their husbands over their kids!
About this finding, one expert polled says, "The husband-wife relationship is a life commitment as is the parent child relationship. However, the parent's responsibility is to raise a child and teach him values and morals and accountability so that the child may then take care of himself when he becomes an adult. Therefore, the husband-wife relationship has priority over the parent-child as long as the children are safe."
Meanwhile, an expert on the other side of the fence asserts frankly, "Husbands can take care of themselves; kids can't."
Almost unanimously, the experts say working parents should share parenting duties equally; only 4% champion working mothers as primaryExperts Reveal Secrets About Co-Parenting Couples
By YourTango.com | Parenting – Wed, Sep 5, 2012 6:19 PM EDT
Read More »from Experts Reveal Secrets About Co-Parenting Couples
80% of experts polled agree: Couples become happier as their children age.YourTango.com surveyed 101 mental health professionals to find out all the dirt about couples who have children. From what they fight about more than anything else to how they rekindle the romance after the baby is born, this survey reveals all the juicy details you've always wanted to know - but have been afraid to ask - about love after kids.
More From YourTango: 28 Dos & Don'ts Of Divorced Parenting
So, what do couples with kids argue about most? We provided the following answer choices: parenting/discipline, money, sex, feeling neglected, domestic responsibilities and "other." "Money" came in first place with 30%. "Parenting/discipline" came in second with 22% and "domestic responsibilities" clocked in third place with just 18% of the total vote.
If you think you'd be so much happier living an uber-adult life without children and occasionally visiting your nieces and nephews, you're all wrong. We asked the experts to agree or disagree with the following statement: "Couples5 Celeb-Inspired Date Night Looks for Fall
By YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Tue, Sep 4, 2012 8:38 PM EDTWe know how bummed you are to have to put your summer dresses away until next year, but that doesn't mean your style has gone away too.
More From YourTango: 5 Super Easy Desk To Date Style Tips
This fall, use some A-listers' influence to really wow your date. Instead of pulling out your boring jeans and t-shirt (which, we admit, we love too), there are far more stylish options. Whether going out to dinner with an old fling or heading to the bar for first date drinks, these five looks are adorable and sexy for the fall and come straight from the stars.
Tell us: which look will you be trying this season?
Written by Emily Longeretta for YourTango.com.
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VIDEO: Is Your Wife Cheating on You? How to Tell
By YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Tue, Sep 4, 2012 7:47 PM EDT
Has your wife been extra preoccupied lately? Do you get the sense that there may be something going on "behind the scenes?" If so, you're in luck.
In this video, author, therapist and YourTango Expert Dr. Joe Kort explains that "We're all scared that we're vulnerable to being betrayed and hurt in our relationships." So, how can you tell if you're being cheated on? Well, you can't, unless you catch her, or she comes out and tells you. But, according to Joe, she's unlikely to tell you unless you make room for that kind of honesty in your relationship.
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Want to learn more? Check out the video above.
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Read More »from Why You Should Wait to Say 'I Love You'
What's the Rush?Picture this. You've been dating a new guy for a few weeks. Things are going amazingly well and you can't stop thinking about him. You connect on so many different levels and you just seem to get each other. He is exactly what you've been looking for in a man and, not only that, he exceeds your expectations.
In other words, you're in love with him and you're wondering if you should tell him exactly how you feel. But before you go saying "I love you," there are a few things you should know about saying these three little words too soon and why it might be a good idea to hold your tongue for a while.
Saying "I love you" too early puts intense pressure on the relationship. Suddenly, you aren't just dating anymore - you're in love. It's more serious and often times, more limiting.
Along with love comes expectations that a new relationship might not be able to live up to. Love implies forever; but how do you know that you want to be with someone forever if you haven't even been togetherHow My Daughter's Name Helped Me Understand Her Eating Disorder
By YourTango.com | Parenting – Fri, Aug 31, 2012 3:10 PM EDT
Read More »from How My Daughter's Name Helped Me Understand Her Eating Disorder
Often times, there's a larger issue underneathIt was winter break and my daughter came home for the holidays. She was working on her masters program and instead of student-teaching as the college had promised, she had three of her own, three high school classes to teach, despite a complete lack of prior experience.
I was appalled; I had been a master teacher myself for four student teachers. She kept insisting everything was all right.
To further compound the pressure, she was living off whatever money I was sending to her. With small, 400 square-foot apartments renting for more than my house payment, giving her much beyond what she needed for rent, tuition and food was extremely difficult. We were both stressed.
Her dad - my husband - had treated her to a plane ticket and some time at home. Being a typical parent, I was overjoyed to see my daughter. However, she was extremely gaunt ... so thin that I thought hugging her would somehow break her bones. Her dad, on the other hand, thought she looked terrific.
