Blog Posts by YourTango.com

A new wife finds it tough to live with or without her husband. I fantasized about an idealist who could quote Thoreau and Emerson; I fell in love with a Prada-loafer wearing lawyer. I longed for a man who was at least 6 feet tall; I got 5'9"-with shoes on. I dreamed of lazy weekend mornings in bed; Eric worked seven days a week, and for the few hours that he did sleep, he snored. When I accepted his proposal of engagement, I was well aware that I was agreeing to marry a 37-year-old whose dirty clothes would never meet a laundry basket, and who still called his parents "Mommy" and "Daddy."

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It wasn't perfection, but it was right. In just one date, I had been transformed from a boy crazy, what-if-the-grass-is-greener tease into a monogamist. When I was with Eric I was present in a way I didn't know I could be. I trusted him. After our first fight, I didn't want to slam the door or run away; I wanted us to hold each other and talk it through. I loved him and he loved me back in

Can you be a feminist and still be feminine?Yesterday, an op-ed on FoxNews.com - a publication I do not make a habit of reading - sent the internet into a tailspin. Its author, Suzanne Venker, is a woman with whom I'm certain I have next to nothing in common. She's a wife, a mother and a conservative. I'm single, liberal and have no children. She believes mothers shouldn't work. I feel women can (and should) have a family and a career.

Venker's essay on the negative influence of feminism on relationships and marriage was pummeled by Jezebel, Refinery29 and The Awl - three sites I respect thoroughly and read on the regular. When I finally followed the trail back to Venker's original piece, I fully expected my head to explode from rage. Instead, something worse happened. Something that caused me much more distress.

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I kind of related to what Venker said. (Well, not all of it.)

In the piece, Venker - rather obnoxiously - posits that women of childbearing

This is what official scientific research looks like.Think having kids will be your ticket to fulfillment? Not so, says a new study. Might as well save all that energy for a roll in the hay, because sex ranks as the most enjoyable human activity. Perhaps more surprisingly, drinking alcohol, or partying, came in second. (No word on whether the study was conducted in a frat house.)

Researchers from the University of Canterbury in New Zealand used an interesting method to get people to gauge their happiness in real time: they asked participants to rate their activities throughout the day, via text message, from best to worst in terms of pleasure, meaning and engagement -- a technique called "experience sampling." So, although partying ranked second in terms of pleasure, it finished 10th in meaning.

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While I can understand a hookup being more enjoyable than chasing around a screaming toddler, I find it a little troubling that sex also ranks number one in terms of meaning and

Got cold feet?Are you feeling anxious about your upcoming wedding? Sick to your stomach? Having bad dreams? Does the sight of the dress fill you with dread? Feeling like you may have made a mistake saying "yes" or proposing?

If you answered yes, you are experiencing pre-wedding jitters. This is your subconscious telling you that something is not right and you need to listen to it. It may be that you are nervous about your own ability to be a husband or wife, anxious that your fiancé can't be the spouse you need or both.

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Having wedding jitters does not mean that the marriage is doomed or that it is time to call off the wedding. But all jitters mean that an intervention is needed. Something is making you anxious and you need to understand what it is.

We all have an internal compass that guides us in our life and when we go against it, there is a reaction. At first, you feel a gentle tugging at the back of your brain; something

Do you appreciate the importance of gratitude in your relationship?"Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am" - a cryptic phrase made popular by an old Dean Martin song - was obviously written from a man's point of view. It epitomizes the kind of glib, get-it-overwith quickie that immediately makes many women cringe.

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But how often do we girls virtually do the same thing - say things we really don't mean, outside the bedroom? We're so programmed with "please" and "thank you" manners from an early age, we say "how are you" and "thanks" so often, they automatically come rolling out of our mouths, almost without thinking.

Yet, do we mean it? Are we really, sincerely interested when we ask, or thankful when we say it? I'll be honest, not usually.

Try responding to that obligatory "How are you?" with the details of your day or your aching back and watch how fast you get that look of shock and annoyance that you're actually answering. Superficiality seems to be the norm now in so many ways. Deep, sincere thank

Two women come clean about what's it's like to date and be intimate when you're au naturale.Patricia, 31, a doula who lives in Carterville, IL:

"When I was dating I used to refer to my armpit hair as my 'superficiality filter.' I think it worked pretty well, though I also think I met guys who had 'hairy girl' on their must-bone bucket lists. I'm married now, but back in my single days I was brazen about my hairy legs. Men simply didn't approach me if they weren't into it. I had one boyfriend, though, who wouldn't introduce me to his grandmother because of my hairy legs. That bummed me out, but didn't deter me.

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I was 18 when I quit shaving; it was just after high school graduation. I had known other women who didn't shave, and I began to identify with them. I had started to realize that the ritual of women removing all their body hair is dictated by consumerism and fear-based marketing. In short, it's about buying products. I thought, I shouldn't have to spend a lot of money to remove something that's a part of me; it

A fresh face is the best face.Wondering what to wear on a first, second or fifth date? Your outfit says a lot, but your makeup can say just as much - if not more - about your attitude. Nonverbal communication - even through your appearance - speaks volumes, especially with someone new.

Keep some of these tips in mind to figure out what signals you might be sending with this season's beauty trends.

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