Divorce is a big deal. Don't do it before considering the answers to these four questions.Whether it's Katie Holmes, Danny DeVito or Amy Poehler, celebrity divorces and breakups continue to make front-page news. Unfortunately, the average couple doesn't fare much better: approximately every other relationship is now bound for a breakup.
More from YourTango: 21 Undeniable Benefits Of Being Divorced
As a therapist, I'm not one to recommend staying in hurtful relationships, let alone abusive ones, but I do believe that women contemplating divorce will benefit from looking at the issue carefully from all sides. Here's my list of top four questions to consider before filing for divorce:
1. What will I lose? Divorce means big change. It's a big deal; income, health insurance, homes - spouses come with a whole slew of things.
Can I make it on my own? Am I willing to make the sacrifices? Which friends will I likely not see again? Would I have sufficient social contacts or would I have to start over from scratch?
These may not be the deciding factors for you, but do take the time
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- YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 8, 2012 3:36 PM EST
Divorce is a big deal. Don't do it before considering the answers to these four questions.Whether it's Katie Holmes, Danny DeVito or Amy Poehler, celebrity divorces and breakups continue to make front-page news. Unfortunately, the average couple doesn't fare much better: approximately every other relationship is now bound for a breakup.Read More »from 4 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Filing for Divorce
There are advantages to waiting out your twenties and thirties."Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person." -UnknownRead More »from The Benefits of Marrying Later in Life
More from YourTango: 7 Most Outdated Myths About Love
I used to wonder if I would ever find true love. When I was in college, I thought I'd be married by the time I was 25. When 27 rolled around, I thought I would get married in my early 30s. Then I thought I'd be married by the time I was 35 years old. In hindsight, it's easy to see why it took so long for "the one" to find me and me to find "the one." I wasn't being the person I needed to be in order to have the love I desired.
I focused on my career for so long, assuming that my love life would fall into place. When I was in my late 30s, I began to understand that having a successful love life required conscious effort and focus. This was the beginning of many firsts: focusing more on my love life than my professional life, understanding the unhealthy relationship patterns I was repeating, learning to love myself and accepting my self-worth.
- YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Wed, Nov 7, 2012 5:36 PM EST
Kirstie Alley has opened up about two different men she fell in love with during her marriage.Over the past two days, Dancing with the Stars contestant Kirstie Alley is coming clean about quite a bit of history. In her new book The Art of Men, she goes into detail about the difficult times she went through in her love life. But you don't have to pick up the book, out today, to get all the dirt about how Alley fell in love twice while married.Read More »from Kirstie Alley's Confession: What I Did was Worse Than Cheating
More from YourTango: Whoa! Check Out Sienna Miller Pregnant & Fully Naked!
On an interview with Barbara Walters-which will air in full on Friday- the star revealed that the "greatest love of her life" was not with either of her two husbands. Apparently, in 1989, during the filming of Look Who's Talking, Alley fell hard for her costar John Travolta. Although the feelings she had were strong, she resisted them because she was married to her second husband Parker Stevenson.
"Believe me, it took everything that I had, inside, outside, whatever, to not run off and marry John," Alley told Walters. "And be with John for the rest of my life."
A Muslim woman gave up her past to provide her family with a future. It was during my second month of medical school-as I was cutting anatomy class-that I met Ron. We bonded over our mutual dislike of the subject, and I felt like we had an instant connection.Read More »from From Muslim to Jewish: How Love Transformed Me
In the course of that first conversation we also wound up discussing our backgrounds: Ron, I learned, was Israeli-Jewish; I was Iranian-Muslim.
The relationship grew serious quickly. Ron proposed a year and a half in, and we planned a Jewish-Persian wedding, where we drank wine, did readings in Hebrew, and let my relatives grind sugar over us to add sweetness to the marriage, according to Iranian/Persian tradition.
Then, six months after we married, we began discussing the idea of conversion. Ron and I had both been raised in secular homes, and he felt connected to Judaism on a cultural, rather than religious, level.
More from YourTango: 13 Tips For Dating A Mormon
I, on the other hand, have never really felt tied to Islam. I believe in gay marriage-and I believe that a woman can do anything a
- YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Tue, Nov 6, 2012 5:53 PM EST
Is he more into himself than he is into you?Healthy folks mostly stay in a good mood. They can ride life's bumps in good humor. They also have open ears. When you say something to them, they seem to hear it and take it seriously. They succeed in watching out for themselves and, at the same time, responding with generosity and compassion to you.Read More »from 6 Signs You're in a Relationship with a Narcissist
More from YourTango: What His Romantic Past Says About Him
Narcissism is a clinical term for what generally boils down to selfishness. Narcissistic people want their way, pay insufficient attention to what others want and can be pretty tough to get along with because if they don't do what you want, they are likely to get angry.
That's the short explanation of narcissism. Here are the details: six signs to pay attention to. If you are dating someone who exhibits these signs, you may have a narcissist on your hands:
1. Deafness to what others feel, want or think. "What I want, feel, think or believe is all that matters so I don't bother taking seriously what you say, especially when it
This is not how it has to be...Everyone has dealbreakers.Read More »from Why You Should Stop Settling for So-So Sex
They're the unalterable qualities in your prospective partner that eliminate the possibility of a happy relationship. Some are shallow: gnarly feet, freakishly small hands, a CD collection that's a little heavy on the Limp Bizkit. But others are critical indicators of compatibility: he doesn't want kids and you do. Or his deeply held religious convictions don't mesh with your own.
But one potential dealbreaker defies categorization: bad sex. Is it a shallow concern that shouldn't matter if two people care about each other? Is it the ultimate indicator of compatibility because it's so primal? Or is it not a dealbreaker at all because, with enough time and effort, it can be fixed?
"Sometimes people just need a little physical training," says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of Sex So Great She Can't Get Enough. "But since passion is practically a philosophical concept, bad sex almost always results from emotional, mental, and physical issues."
Before you can
- YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 1, 2012 5:50 PM EDT
Believe it or not, there's an upside.Breaking news: Divorce is difficult.Read More »from The Upside of Being Divorced: 21 Undeniable Benefits
Now, we're not trying to minimize that undeniable fact, but we do want you to know that there are benefits to enduring a marital dissolution as well. Like, remember when your mother told you that anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Well, she was right ... but that isn't the only upside to the end of your marriage. In fact, our experts came up with quite a list of advantages to your divorcee status, and here they are:
1. You will become a stronger person. As the saying goes, if you can get through this, you can get through anything. -Carol Ferguson
2. You will become closer to your friends and appreciate them more. They can be a shoulder to lean on, a sounding board for advice and a date when you want to go out. -Carol Ferguson
More from YourTango: 17 Essential Rules For Dating After Divorce
3. You now control your life. You make the decisions you want to without having to consult with someone else. -Carol Ferguson
4. You are
- YourTango.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 1, 2012 5:26 PM EDT
Do you and your husband argue about money? Is it starting to take a toll on your relationship? If so, help is on the way.
More from YourTango: Help! My Husband & I Fight Constantly
In this video, psychologist, therapist and YourTango Expert Tina Tessina assures us that it's common for couples to fight about money. Money is usually a heated topic because of our symbolic and emotional ties to it.
"Sit down with your husband in a more business-like manner ... put papers in front of you; make it feel more like business and it'll go more like business. And, if you have to talk about the emotional parts of money - I feel guilty about spending money on this, or I feel scared that we don't have enough money - talk about that separately from making the money decisions. The money decisions are just math."
To learn more, check out the video above!
More From YourTango.com:Read More »from VIDEO: How to Stop Fighting with Your Spouse About Money
- YourTango.com | Parenting – Wed, Oct 31, 2012 6:02 PM EDT
New research explains the importance of fathers talking to their daughters about sex.A new study shows when dads talk with their children about sex, those children have less sex during adolescence. While it's traditional in many families for the mother to talk to her daughters and for the father to talk to his sons, here are at least four reasons why it is important for fathers to also talk to their daughters about sex:Read More »from 4 Reasons Fathers Should Talk About Sex with Their Daughters
More from YourTango: Young Girls Aspire To Be Sexy, Says New Study
1. Research shows when fathers give their daughters the talk, their little girls have less sex when they're older. The first reason is the most obvious. If fathers talk to their daughters about sex, according to the research, they will have less sex during their adolescent years. This also means there will be less STDs and teen pregnancies. This can only be a positive thing as we think about our teen's sexual health and their lack of necessary maturity to make decisions about adoption, abortion and raising a family.
2. Women and men have a different understanding of sex. Have you ever