Blog Posts by YourTango.com

Tokii TradingPost helps couples compromise and make good on their promises. Tokii makes sure my long-distance boyfriend and I follow through on the promises we make. Sometimes we have to treat our relationships like a business arrangement. When traditional, lovey-dovey methods of communicating don't seem to get the job done, it's time to get formal. It's time to use things like

Sometimes we have to treat our relationships like a business arrangement. When traditional, lovey-dovey methods of communicating don't seem to get the job done, it's time to get formal. It's time to use things like "agendas" and "action items."

Since the start of my relationship-and especially because we are long-distance-we decided communication was crucial (my boyfriend is a lot better at it than I am). In order to keep the ideas flowing we have mandatory "check-ins" every other month. These meetings tend to be very formal (yes, we often have agendas typed up), sometimes include written questionnaires, and can cover serious topics like abortion. We set up this system so that all the big questions or issues that tend to build up in a relationship get released and resolved. Then, like any good team we have action items to work on until the next check-in.

Enter Tokii.com's TradingPost feature, which encourages you to haggle in the name of love. "I'll wash your car on Saturday, if you

Who needs a man when you have an Oscar, right Charlize?

Charlize Theron is talking about love. The question actually revolves around exes -should you ever look up an ex, or will that lead to a big old ex-mess?

Over tea at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in New York City, 36-year-old Theron laughs and shakes her head. She's miles of long legs in person, which are wrapped in black tights. She wears a tight black skirt and a gorgeous white cashmere sweater. Her hair is glossy blonde and just graces her chin.

An edgy Grace Kelly comes to mind. But this princess is prince-less these days.

"I don't know if it's a good or bad thing to call up an old love. I've never done it. I certainly wouldn't do it if they were married with a newborn baby," Charlize says.

That's what her character, Mavis Gary, an author of young adult novels, does in the new movie, Young Adult. Theron plays a semi-famous author who is divorced and living alone in the big city. She decides to hightail it back to her hometown in Minnesota and reclaim her high school boyfriend. The

Feeling stressed? Read on for seven ways to cope.
What is stress? It is certainly a word that we toss around a lot and loosely. When was the last time you were "stressed out"? Was it work related? Family? Financial? Relationship? What happens to your body when you are stressed out? How do we find stress relief?

Most of us have heard the expression that "all disease is stress related", but what does that really mean? The changes that take place in our bodies are certainly real. Our diagnosis is real. So, how does 'stress' contribute to DIS-EASE in the body…DIS-COMFORT?

Ponder this: if we do not listen to our thoughts and feelings, then our issues will haunt us in our dreams. If we continue to ignore the messages that our dreams are attempting to deliver, these 'issues' are likely to SOMATIZE. In other words, we develop physical symptoms. Which ones, where, who? We all have inherited from our families a weakness in some organ or system in our body that seems to take the brunt of our stress. Under prolonged stress you may develop

Juggling kids and an at-home job can be a challenge.
The working mom vs. stay-at-home mom debate is one that has gone on for decades. Which situation is ideal for the child? Which is easier on mom and the family? And of course, which is more challenging? As a work-at-home mom, or WAHM, I lie somewhere in the middle. In the six months that I've been a mother, I haven't had to say goodbye each morning (or any morning) as I reluctantly drop my daughter off at daycare. And while I am very, very thankful for this, I also want it to be said: WAHMing ain't easy.

Prior to the birth of my daughter, I worked from home for close to two years. Even though I've never mastered the art of the perfectly disciplined work-from-home schedule, I had a routine. That routine included waking up around 7am and working all day, just as if I were in an office somewhere. I almost never quit before 5, and because I love my role as a freelance writer and blog editor, sometimes I worked well into the evening.

When I became pregnant, I easily admitted that I really

A blind date with an ex. That's double trouble.

Blind dating is like playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun. Something is bound to go wrong. I had been working at a retail department store for about six months when one of my newfound friends/co-workers approached me with a favor. She had met this "really great guy" and he had asked her out on a date. She was scared to go alone, so she asked him if he had a friend. She would bring a friend of hers and it could be a double date.

My first clue that the night was not going to be one of my brighter moments was when I discovered she had never met the guy in person. They had met online in a chat room. Red flag #1. She assured me he was OK. She had seen his picture online. Red flag #2.

I asked her where he was from and she said he had never really told her, but it was only about 20 minutes away. It didn't dawn on me until later that I knew people who lived approximately that far away. I stopped asking her questions when I realized she probably hadn't done her research on the

Fifty-nine percent of men and 50 percent of women say Christmas is their favorite holiday.

There's no other time like the holidays to examine your life and how lucky you are to be surrounded by friends and family. While you're at it, you might as well take a look at your relationship with your significant other and see just what makes you click. We're not suggesting you sit down and have a deep, intense one-on-one under the mistletoe (although that's always fun, too), but instead make a game out of it. Tokii is here to help.

Tokii is a website aimed at helping couples grow closer and communicate better through the use of games and quizzes. You ask your partner and yourself a question, then compare the results to see exactly where the two of you fall on different subjects, concerns and topics as important as religion and as light-hearted as, well, how much you love Christmas.

In the name of holidays and all things merry, Tokii put together an infographic (below) comparing how men and women view certain aspects of the holidays differently. If you look at the infographic you

Gifts are not the only ways to show generosity in your relationship.
Studies show that being a generous partner not only makes for a happier relationship, but actually provides health benefits for both partners. But how can you tell how generous you are? Many people have trouble assessing this personality trait, and tend to overestimate their own generosity. Others are chronic "givers," letting their significant other walk all over them and often not even knowing it.

How does your relationship stack up on the generosity scale? The New York Times recently posted a quiz of four questions that researchers from the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project used to measure generosity, higher levels of which predict a stronger and happier relationship. The questions are:

1. How often do you express affection or love to your partner? (Answer options for each question are: Never, Seldom, Sometimes, Often, Always)

2. How often do you express respect or admiration to your partner?

3. How often do you perform small acts of kindness for your partner

How to steer clear of ten common holiday-related fights.
November and December are a time when we come together to catch up with loved ones, enact family traditions and celebrate life. But the season of good cheer is not always cheerful. Between selecting the perfect gift, booking expensive flights and dealing with the in-laws, people get stressed and, unfortunately, the closest vent for those frustrations is typically one's partner. Here are ten common holiday fights couples have during the holidays and how to avoid them.

1. The mother-in-law fight. His mom hates your cooking-he says she's just being helpful. How to fix it: Address her directly, with this non-threatening formula: "I feel insert your feeling here when you her action here. Please what you want her to do." Example: "I feel bad when you criticize my cooking. Please don't tell me my food is awful, even if you don't like it."

2. The money fight: You want to throw a holiday party; he says you can't afford it. How to fix it: Create a budget in advance that takes into account all