When I was in sixth grade, my boyfriend told me he didn't care that I was fat. He loved me anyway, just as I was.
It was something along the lines of, "Tom and all those guys say you're really big, but it doesn't matter to me." And instead of hearing the part about his acceptance of me, all I heard was that people thought I was fat. This was news to me, as I'd never thought about my own size, weight, or shape in any way before that moment. Never considered that other people were looking at me and judging me. It was an absolute revelation. And although I give him credit for trying to soften the blow and explain that he could care less, it still changed me. For the worse.
I started dieting immediately, and continued to diet for the next 13 years. On and off, of course, which meant that my weight fluctuated quite a bit. I've been 30 pounds heavier than I am today, and 20 pounds lighter. I've done Slim Fast, Lean Cuisines, and all manner of book-based food plans. Most recently,
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