Blog Posts by Common Sense Media

End the Battle Over Holiday Wish Lists

Kids often give their parents major grief for crossing "cool" games off of holiday wish lists. In kid logic, games are "cool" when they have awesome graphics and gameplay, envelope-pushing storylines, and all manners of weaponry. And they aren't wrong. The games they want typically are well constructed, thoughtful, and exciting. But they're often inappropriate for the teens who hunger for them.

A lot of this season's most talked-about games include ones with excessive violence, negative role models, extreme gore, sociopathic behavior, and other things that have been proven to have a negative effect on kids.

So how do you give kids what they want without giving them what you don't want? At Common Sense, we solve these problems all the time. Simply follow our tips on a choosing great video games, check out our 2009 video game gift guide, and find some great alternatives that don't veer into unhealthy territory.

The Editors at

Kids love rituals -- it's how they anchor memories. So here's an easy (and cheap) way to start a wonderful Thanksgiving tradition. And all it involves is a sofa, a DVD, and two random hours.

First, pick a night over the weekend where everyone's home (we love Friday night after thanksgiving where we eat leftovers).

Then, pick a movie. Since parents and kids often disagree about what movies are okay for kids to see, this is a great opportunity to go to Common Sense Media and find an age-appropriate movie that everyone can agree on. There are thousands to choose from. Sort by age or interest. Have everyone pick something and vote -- or give everyone a turn. (Hint: if you have little kids, pre-select three or four movies so you don't run the risk of having to sit through Care Bears IV. This way they get to choose but you won't lose brain cells in the process.)

Do something wacky. Have everyone dress up in costume, wear crazy pajamas, serve dinner backwards on with dessert first. Set up a

A friend of mine was recently helping her daughter with her homework when they got to some challenging word problems that neither of them could solve. My friend's Facebook page was open, so she posted the questions to her friends -- and immediately received the answers. Problem solved? Hardly. When the results came through, it occurred to my friend: Am I cheating?

The ease and immediacy of digital devices -- cell phones, smart phones, Internet access, and social networks -- allow us to get answers quickly and efficiently without having to do a lot of work. And if it's a gray area for parents, it's really shady for kids.

A recent Common Sense Media poll revealed that lots of kids are doing exactly what my friend did. Plus, they're texting each other answers during tests, using notes and information stored on their cell phones during tests, and downloading papers from the Internet to turn in as their own work. And, while my friend felt conflicted, many students don't consider

Arm Yourself With Information

The names of violent video games tend to travel fast among preteen and teen gamers. And the next thing you know, your kid wants to play them.

Our list of the 10 most violent video games is designed to arm you with enough information to help you make informed choices about what to allow your kids to play. And beyond that, we offer less-violent alternatives with the compelling gameplay that kids want. No parent wants to say "no" all the time.

Why care about violent video games ? Prolonged exposure to violent media leads to aggressive behavior, anxiety, bullying, and desensitization. This cause-and-effect relationship is now part of the American Academy of Pediatrics' official policy to help doctors and parents create a "safer" media environment for kids.

At Common Sense Media, we're all about sanity, not censorship. So here's our list of the 10 most violent video games -- and 10 you can say yes to.

1. Manhunt

Parents trying to limit their kids' exposure to violent media now have a little more support -- from your kids' pediatrician. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics , "Exposure to violence in media, including television, movies, music, and video games, represents a significant risk to the health of children and adolescents."

That means that dealing with the physical and mental health problems associated by overexposure to violent media is now part of the organization's official policy . Pediatricians might now ask kids about their media lives -- like how much TV they watch, whether they have a TV in their room, what kind of video games they play, and how much time they spend consuming media. If the replies suggest too much, your pediatrician might now counsel you and your kid on creating a "safer" media environment.

Beyond that, the AAP indicates that it will promote more responsible portrayal of violence to media producers and more useful and effective media

How Movie Monsters Help Kids

Beasts are bad guys, right? Not always. Movie monsters get a bad rap, but they often have positive qualities that help kids learn good things. With monsters, kids can focus on the character's inner beauty and learn how emotional qualities can trump physical appearance -- making them into lovable giants. Also, movie monsters are imperfect, which makes them relatable to kids.

Make use of movie monsters to help guide kids towards positive behavior -- like being a good friend, making good choices, reporting bullies, and working together.

But even nice monsters can sometimes be scary to little kids, so use our movie reviews when deciding what to watch.

Monsters, Inc., Age 5
Sully
By exposing Monsters, Inc.'s cynical tactics, Sully upends the Monstropolis power grid from an unsustainable model of fear mongering to an infinitely renewable resource: laughs.

Beauty and the Beast, Age 5
Beast

What You Don't Know About Web Filters

7. They don't catch everything. Most parental control programs use a combination of filtering techniques to block access to unwanted sites. But each method is vulnerable, and none promises 100% accuracy.

6. They catch too much. Text-based filters can't really determine the context of words or phrases, so they can block access to perfectly acceptable sites. Words like "sucking," for example, might get caught in the filter and prevent your kid from researching, say, mosquitoes.

5. Kids can defeat them. When determined, technically savvy kids meet filters, they find ways to disable them. In fact, there are Internet discussion groups devoted solely to this purpose.

4. Kids resent them -- and you. Your ultimate goal is to teach kids to be responsible digital citizens so they can surf the Web and use technology responsibly. Filtering software makes you the gatekeeper, whereas you want your kids to learn to self regulate. If kids feel like

I believe that almost anything can be turned into a teachable moment. But when I heard that the Nov. 9 episode of Gossip Girl will feature a threesome in bed, I felt defeated. I just can't wrack my brains to come up with what I can tell my 16-year-old son that could transform this cheesy attempt at increased ratings into a moment of enlightenment -- and that won't pique his interest to the point where it becomes a "can't miss" episode.

Whether teens watch this episode or not is an individual family's decision. After all, that's why Common Sense Media exists -- to give families the information they need to make good choices for their kids. We believe in sanity, not censorship. But where's the sanity in showing mature sexual interactions in shows targeted at teens -- like Gossip Girl or Heroes (look for Hayden Panettiere's character to be kissed by her female roommate in an upcoming episode)?

Pop culture profoundly impacts kids' attitudes, aspirations, and values. It normalizes