By Matt Mogk
Author of Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Zombies
Zombies are more popular than ever. They're racking in billions at the box office and in the video game store. They can be seen shambling down city streets from Los Angeles to London as fans organize thousands of zombie walks, pub crawls, and flash mobs across the globe every year.
That kind of wild popularity inevitably breeds the classic celebrity crush. But if you've considered dating a zombie you might want to think twice, because the undead make horrible romantic partners. According to dozens of leading relationship experts and matchmakers, here are the top five reasons NOT to date a zombie:
1) They're selfish. Don't be fooled by their laidback demeanor and quiet confidence, zombies have one thing on their minds and one thing only. They're not interested in taking you out to a surprise birthday dinner, or ever meeting your parents. They'll never send you flowers on a random Tuesday just because, or
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