By Kristin Fast, Guest Contributor and Mamarazzi
It's Valentine's Day, late 1990s… a young twenty-something couple is still in the bliss of early relationship sexytimes… before the babies, the mortgage, the vomiting dogs… I digress. Our heroine comes home from work a little early, excited for the "something special" her beloved has readied for her on this most romantic of holidays; a sunset dinner? A special evening out? Perhaps some exquisite lingerie?
Ah, the Harlequin Romance possibilities… endless.
She knocks on the partially opened door and it swings open… hello? I'm home, she calls. He responds, I'm back in the bedroom…
So just imagine, really imagine, swinging open that door and seeing, not a bed covered in rose petals, but a room swathed in plastic sheeting and a Costco-size bottle of vegetable oil.
Sexytimes? Or Murdertimes?
A romantic gesture should never be confused with a potential crime scene.
And with thDirty rotten flowers at in mind, let us embark on a little journey together, a journey which will remind us, what not to buy this Valentine's Day.
Let's face it, Valentine's Day is a holiday ripe with potential failure. Too romantic? You make everyone uncomfortable. Too casual? You're insensitive. It's a lose lose. However, by paying attention to what I am going to tell you and following my advice, you just might skate through unscathed.
Really, who can ask for anything more?
The Sexy Gifts.
The Sexy Gifts include all manner of items purchased at stores with the words, "Pleasure", "Discreet" or "Naughty" in their name. Also, anything that is delivered in a plain brown wrapper. Vibrators, edibleRead More »from User Post: What NOT To Buy for Valentine's Day