Blog Posts by Bobbi Palmer

As all you Americans know, we're heading into one of our famous three-day weekends (non-Americans, play along please): Memorial Day. This is the official start of the summer season: a time to remember all those who served in our military, a time to break out the BBQ and the bathing suit (ugh), and a time to unpack the white shoes and pants. Spring is ending soon and summer begins.

I have a challenge for all you to help kick off a new season: a challenge with a GREAT PRIZE attached to it (seriously, a GREAT prize)!

In the spirit of the three-day weekend, I challenge you to list:

~3 things you can do differently to bring Mr. Fabulous into your life
~3 things you can do to celebrate the forward movement you're making in your life
~3 things you like about the current guy you're dating
~3 ways you can show him you care
~3 ways he shows you he cares
~3 things you love about yourself
~3 things you love about your body
~3 ways you can pamper yourself this weekend

I'll start this off

I received an email yesterday that I want to share. I hear some form of this a lot: "I'm [not perfect because of fill-in-the-blank] and I'm worried no man will ever want me!" I get it but I can't tell you how much this breaks my heart.

I lived in the "no man wants a fat girl" reality for a long freaking time. But it's a lie I told myself so I could blame men for the lack of love in my life.I know the truth now: the vast majority of the men I met didn't pick me because of my "Wall of I Dare You" and my insecurities; not because of my fat thighs.

I hope this letter and the articles I refer to help you realize two things:

1. Men are not as superficial as you may think.
2. You are a wonderful woman who, if she can give love, will most certainly receive it.

Dear Bobbi,

I appreciate your Friday Quickies and emails very much. I am 42, divorced after a 10 year relationship and very much craving love and a special person to love me. However, I am not exactly the powerful and financially

The first 10 minutes of a date often determine whether a second date is even going to happen. And let's face it: second dates are not the norm for many. That was definitely my story until I learned about (what I now call) "Date Waste."

Date waste is when a date is a drag but has little to do with whether you're a potential match. It's a drag simply because neither of you set the date up to succeed. These aren't the dates with jerks that you can't wait to end. They're the ones that are just a little boring, lack sparks, or just go nowhere. You can turn these into very positive experiences.

I see date waste all the time when I'm coaching, and I lived it for years. When I accepted that every date was part of the journey and not just a means to an end, my life changed. Every date is an opportunity. You can talk to a nice person, learn something new, get much-needed practice, and maybe connect with someone you want to know just a little better. It doesn't have to be "Oh, he's The One!" or

I'm often asked what I mean by Dating Like a Grownup. It's obviously a great question that I probably should answer every so often. (I am, after all, the CEO of Date Like a Grownup!) I'm going to give you my definition, and then I'm going to tell you about a great book I've read that does a terrific job of discussing dating and love for grownups.

To me, dating like a grownup means taking responsibility for your own happiness. It means getting past the men suck/I-have-no-control-over-this part-of-my-life nonsense. It means approaching men, dating and relationships with consciousness; allowing you to balance your heart and your head.

Some key ingredients to dating like a grownup:

~Understanding that your happiness comes first; and the rest of the good stuff will follow.
~Staying open to new information and new experiences no matter your age.
~Taking some risks.
~Making decisions that are good for you in the long term and not giving in to short-term pleasure or ego driven choices.

This is one skill I want you to master: Rejecting online rejection. Learning to accept rejection gracefully, with as few "dings" to your self-esteem as possible, is key to finding your true love.

As a dating coach, I've found the #1 reason you won't have success online is giving up too soon. What you perceive as online rejection can exhaust you mentally and the positive attitude you started out with will quickly dwindle.

Here are 4 things to know to help you move forward in the online dating world with your self-esteem intact!

1) They don't know you.

All a guy knows about you is 20 sentences and a crappy picture. If they don't "pick" you, take a deep breath and remember: There are 1000 reasons a guy won't be interested and most have nothing to do with YOU. The want a blonde, someone under 5'2", someone who skis, someone without kids, etc… Better he NOT chose you and save you both heartache and disappointment later. And let's be honest. There are a myriad of reasons YOU reject guys

Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup shares why women dating over 40 should relax about their bodies when it comes to sex.Are you excited about the notion of hopping into bed with your new guy?

Slowly undressing…eyes locked…savoring each other's bodies…lust so intense that you both might explode…

…or does the thought of it make you so nervous you want to puke?

Let's face it: if you're working on attracting a fabulous man into your life, ya' better be ready for sex. I know that for many of you-especially if you're dating in your 40s, 50s, or beyond-it's been a while since you stood naked in front of a man.

Many of you tell me that you look forward to enjoying this intimate and glorious part of a good relationship, but the thought of presenting your naked body to your new man seems daunting. After all, you have those stretch marks, sagging boobs, cellulite and wrinkled skin…all kinds of flaws, right?

I received an email the other day that reminded me of how scary this is. I lived this myself-a room could never be dark enough-but I eventually learned the truth: most men just don't care. Here is my email

Ten tips for talking to men from Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ for women dating over 40.If you're a single woman working toward meeting a grownup, confident and relationship-minded man, a must-have skill is the art of conversation. If your perception is that all a guy does is look you up and down and decide if he wants to ask you out, you're wrong.

The Good Guys want to connect somehow if they're going to spend an evening with you. They want to know you'll be fun and open and that the two of you can carry on a conversation. (Just like what you want to know, right?)

You don't have to be a super extrovert. You don't have to tell stories of rock climbing or doing charity work in Africa. What you do need to do is know how to…well…how to be You.

I want you to get asked out by these good guys, so I'm going to help you do that. Let's get started.

Visualize yourself at a party standing at the nosh table. A woman walks up, you make quick eye contact and you smile at each other. How might the conversation go? You might ask her a standard question or two: something in the realm

Thinking about calling a man to confirm tentative plans? Don't. Here's why.It's Monday and you're talking on the phone with a nice guy you're interested in. After some chit-chat he finally asks you out on a date. It goes something like this:

Nice Guy: Do you want to go out for dinner Saturday night?

You: Yes, that would be nice.

Nice Guy: Okay, I'll call you later in the week to firm up the plans. I'm looking forward to it.

You: Me too. Talk then.

[Click.]

You: Woohoo!!!!!! (Okay…I added that on for dramatic effect.)

You like him, and you're looking forward to Saturday. In fact, you're already wondering what you're going to wear and what you're going to talk about.

Wednesday there is no call. Thursday there is no call. Friday morning comes, and you wonder, "Do we actually have a date?" You're disappointed: maybe a little mad. You're fretting over what to do next.

You email your friend or your dating coach and ask: What should I do? Should I call him?

Unfortunately, this is a common situation - especially when you're meeting men using online dating. What