Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ shares how to overcome your FemiType if you're a woman dating over 40.Over the past few months I've profiled six types of women - I call them FemiTypes - who have less than healthy relationships with men. I've written about The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat, The Wow-Me Woman, The Bitter Woman and The Sexpot.
Why have I written about women when you really want to know about men? Because I know it will help lead you get to where you want to be: in a loving relationship with a man who is devoted to you.
I wrote the FemiType series in hopes of creating empathy for your counterpart: the over 40 single guy who is dating and looking for love. Many of these guys come to you after dating, living with or being married to one or more of these FemiTypes.
After reading this series, I hope you can understand why some single men can seem judgmental, insecure, scared or a little shell-shocked! Like you, they're likely reacting based on previous experiences.
Understanding men's bumps and bruises will add to your compassion, and compassion is toward the
Blog Posts by Bobbi Palmer
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Mon, Sep 3, 2012 12:59 AM EDT
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ shares how to overcome your FemiType if you're a woman dating over 40.Over the past few months I've profiled six types of women - I call them FemiTypes - who have less than healthy relationships with men. I've written about The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat, The Wow-Me Woman, The Bitter Woman and The Sexpot.Read More »from Are You Ready to Teach and Tame Her? (FemiTypes - the Epilogue)
Why women dating over 40 who rely on their sexuality to attract a mate short change themselves in the long run.Let me start today by telling you how magnificent you are. The fact that you are a woman over 40 and reading this tells me that you are all the more spectacular. Really, it does!
One of the reasons finding love over 40 can be the most gratifying time of all is that you know your sphere of power. You've learned you are only in control of you, no one else. Life has taught you that you cannot control co-workers, friends, and especially the men you date...or marry, for that matter. (Though I'm quite sure you occasionally try.)
You also know that with that self-control comes personal responsibility, and you know you have the power to create a happy and full life for yourself instead of living one of disappointment and scarcity. This is why I've written this series on FemiTypes.*
Hard as it is to take a close look at yourself, I know that you have a super-important goal you have not yet reached. As with all things in your life you have already achieved, you know that the way toRead More »from Are You Attracting Cads and Pingers?
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Mon, Aug 20, 2012 12:27 AM EDT
Your bitterness will hold you back from finding a fulfilling relationship with a man who adores you.In an effort to help you understand the man side of this midlife dating experience, I've introduced you to The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat and The Wow-Me Woman: all FemiTypes* that send good men running.Read More »from User Post: Do All Men Make You Mad? the Bitter Woman
Today I'm going to talk about perhaps the most challenging of all FemiTypes: The Bitter Woman. She is a little scary, a lot angry, and all about being a victim. Not only does she scare and briefly traumatize the men she meets, but her bitterness probably seeps into all areas of her life.
So buckle your seat belts; this may get a bit bumpy. The good news is that you will probably not recognize yourself here - though I'll bet you have a friend or someone else in your life who is The Bitter Woman. (These are not women to talk to about your search for love, btw.)
Who hasn't had periods of feeling bitter? Whether you've been passed over for a promotion, had a crappy childhood, or had a man do you wrong, by this time in your life you've taken a fair share of hits.
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ explains how a Newsflash: Women constantly push really good guys right out of their lives without even knowing it. We do it by behaving in ways that, until pointed out by someone else, are a complete mystery.
Finally having this pointed out to me in my early 40s was a huge part of my transition from a pretty happy single gal to, at age 47, a truly fulfilled wife of a loving and adoring man.
In my never-ending quest to help grownup women find fantastic love like I did, I'm writing about the six types of single women who drive men away. I'm outlining these dating "FemiTypes" so you, the oh-so deserving woman over 40 looking for love, can do two things:
- Find love by clearing out what might be standing in your way.
- Make better connections with men by extending them true empathy.
This has nothing to do with woman-bashing or saying you're broken in some way. It has nothing to do with saying that dating and relationships are more difficult for men than for women. It simply has to doRead More »from Are You Waiting to Be Wowed?
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ explains how a We all know that dating over 40 can be a bit of a jungle with challenges, surprises and pitfalls. I'm sure you've encountered your share of Pingers, Needy-men and Players as you meet single men. I get it, and you belong to a large, loving sisterhood. But it's not only us gals who have dating disasters. Men have their fair share of icky, confusing, ego-crushing experiences too.
In my ongoing effort to help you empathize with those nutty creatures with whom we're trying so hard to connect, I'm showing you my 6 "FemiTypes": the over-40 women men date who send them running for the hills.
(Btw, I know that many of my readers are under 40. To you, this will either be super helpful or a stern warning as to what not to do as you "mature.")
Deep down, The Scaredy Cat feels unworthy and afraid to receive love and attention, especially from potential romantic partners. SheRead More »from Your Fear of Rejection is Getting You Rejected
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Fri, Jul 13, 2012 4:11 PM EDT
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup on why when women dating over 40 embrace their inner 18 year old, they don't find quality men who appreciate them as adults.Dating like a grownup is the quickest path to finally enjoying mutually nurturing relationships with men who are full of respect, adoration and commitment.
If you're going to date like a grownup, developing empathy for men is crucial. Just like all your relationships, when you have the ability to step outside yourself and get into someone else's head and heart (even just a little), your connections instantly improve.
Today I'll help you warm up your empathy muscle by sharing another story in my series What Dating Is Like for Men*.
Single men carry around old baggage and wounds just like we do. They've accumulated their fair share of dating and relationship bumps and bruises; in fact, they've probably had more. Think about it: they've been the ones responsible for putting themselves out there first since they were teenagers. Ouch. Talk about rejection.
Along with all the fun and great sex, men too have gotten dumped, misled, used and had their hearts broken by someRead More »from Are You Still 18 when it Comes to Dating and Relationships?
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ details the Princess, one of the six FemiTypes who'll struggle to find love when dating over 40 as a woman.If you're going to be a successful dater (which means you have fun and meet good men), an essential tool is the ability to empathize with the men you meet. Empathy is not feeling sorry for someone. It's being able to put yourself in their shoes and understand their experience.
I believe that the only way women can truly do that with men is to hear their stories firsthand. In my years of coaching I have gathered thoughts, feelings and stories from men in their early 30s up to their 70s, and clear patterns have emerged.
Among those patterns is this: There are certain types of single women who grownup men looking for relationships hope NOT to meet.
In a previous article I outlined the six types of women who are a challenge for men to date. They are The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat, The Wow-Me, The Bitter Gal and the Sex Pot.
Based on the number and intensity of comments this article received, I think I hit a nerve! Believe me, I am SO not judging. ThereRead More »from Are You a Princess?
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Tue, Jul 10, 2012 1:25 AM EDT
Last week was Men's Health week; and as another nod to the guys, I thought I'd help them by helping you better understand them. (Did you follow that?) In particular, I want to help you better understand the experience men have when they're trying to "date like a grownup."
If you've read my eBook, you know that I believe strongly that empathizing with men is absolutely essential to your dating and relationship success. The definition of empathy is "the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person's feelings." So the only way you really can empathize is to know their side of the story.
Men and women are different in many ways, but we're more the same than you may think. And this is especially true as we get older. We all have dating disappointments and horror stories. Just like how you've dated your share of challenging types of men like the Pinger, the Couch Potato and the older-and-balder-than-his-profile-guy…men also meet and enter intoRead More »from What Dating is like for Men (Oh…ya Think You Know?)
30+ ideas for things to do this weekend if you're date-free and over 40When I was single I had a love/hate relationship with weekends. I loved having the extra time off work; I hated that I didn't have a man to spend the time with. The truth is, though, that I didn't need a man to have fun or accomplish something meaningful. In many cases, I just needed ME!
I thought I would help you out by giving you a bunch of ideas of things to do this weekend. I have all kinds of thoughts about how to make this, or any other weekend, enjoyable-with or without a man or a friend. (Although I strongly suggest you pick one of these and call a friend to join you this weekend!)
- Have a chick-date with a new friend.
- Go on a cheap weekend getaway.
- Go to a department store makeup section and get a free makeover.
- Buy a new dress and pair of sandals. (Summer is here!)
- Get tickets for a play or other live event. Grab a discount if you can by going to www.Goldstar.com.
- Go to a singles event or just one to meet a new girlfriend. (Google "[your city]
This week I spoke with my client, "Sue," who recently entered the online dating world. Right off the bat she had scoped out a profile she really liked and emailed him. He seemed interested, attentive and pretty fabulous on paper. The next thing you know…she has a date!Read More »from Avoid Dating Burnout by Thinking More like a Man
When they met in real life, he complimented her generously, told her he felt so lucky to have met her, and talked about doing lots of things together. At the end of the date, they both agreed they wanted to see each other again. She felt a major connection.
Sue was understandably thrilled and got that he-could-be-the-one tingle thing goin'. I'm sure you know that feeling.
But it's likely you also know the end of this story: he never followed through.
He didn't call when he said he would. He cancelled two dates. He had long story for why each time and professed his interest and desire to be with her again.
And then he stopped calling.
By the time Sue and I connected, this entire story had transpired. When I talked