Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ shares ways for women over 40 to be intimate without being with a man.Have you ever found yourself in a sexual lull? Maybe you're in one right now. During my oh-so-many single years, I used to call my gaps in dating and intimacy "being on hiatus." And the hiatuses were often pretty long. (Sorry…TMI?)
The truth is that extended periods of celibacy are somewhat common for single women over 40. Unlike our earlier years of joyful experimentation and bed-hopping, most of us aren't sleeping with any guy that comes along. (Yes…pun intended.)
While these lulls can seem perfectly right for you at the time, lengthy abstinence can affect future relationships and sexual encounters. Whether it's been a few months or a few years, it can still be the beginning of a troublesome path.
The old phrase "use it or lose it" pertains here. Going too long without sexual pleasure can cause you to become complacent. The memory of achieving pleasure can fade, which can numb you to the idea of intimacy and even make it seem like something unpleasant or unnecessary.
Blog Posts by Bobbi Palmer
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ shares ways for women over 40 to be intimate without being with a man.Have you ever found yourself in a sexual lull? Maybe you're in one right now. During my oh-so-many single years, I used to call my gaps in dating and intimacy "being on hiatus." And the hiatuses were often pretty long. (Sorry…TMI?)Read More »from User Post: Don't Sleep Through Your Sex Life
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Fri, Jun 1, 2012 10:52 PM EDT
My guess is that you've been dating a while and not getting great results. You're here reading this, after all. The best way to shift into having dates that render positive outcomes - like having more fun and eventually meeting The One - is to change the way you talk to yourself before you even leave the house.Read More »from User Post: Two Simple Thoughts that Will Change the Way You Date
Whether it's a meet-date or a date-date, there are two things you can tell yourself that will improve your chances of meeting Mr. I Love You. And here's the great thing about this: it's 100% in your control. (After all, we do love our control, don't we?)
Self-talk #1: "I hope I like him."
This was the one thing I learned from my coach that changed my entire dating experience. For years I lived in a perpetual state of disappointment and self-doubt. Why aren't they picking me?! Then I learned these magic words: I hope I like HIM.
Two simple thoughts that will change the way you date so you can Date Like a Grownup, specifically for women over 40.
We usually approach meeting men with the "I hope he likes me" feeling. Then, anything short of getting a second date feels like a personal rejection
Tips for helping women dating over 40 learn how to communicate better in their online profiles.I'm sure you know that in order to attract the right man you need to feel great about yourself. That's why Step One of my 6-Step Find Hope and then Find Him System is Who Am I: Falling in Love With Myself. You have to know why you rock and truly believe that you'll make some lucky man a superb partner.Read More »from How to Get (the Right) Man to like You
Part of this powerful step is to also come up with your "nuggets." Nuggets are bits about what you believe to be so bleeping cool about you and your life. Interestingly, discovering and defining these nuggets is one of the hardest skills for women to learn. (Yes…it is a skill.) Here are some examples of nuggets from my private coaching clients:
~ In India I participated in a Habitat for Humanity blitz build. Volunteers from all over the world worked with 100 homeowners to build a village in a week.
~ One of my favorite things in life is to get on the floor with my grandchildren and play for hours.
~ I've spent five years renovating my 1920s house. I made a home where everyone who
As all you Americans know, we're heading into one of our famous three-day weekends (non-Americans, play along please): Memorial Day. This is the official start of the summer season: a time to remember all those who served in our military, a time to break out the BBQ and the bathing suit (ugh), and a time to unpack the white shoes and pants. Spring is ending soon and summer begins.Read More »from Claim Your Power and Your Prize
I have a challenge for all you to help kick off a new season: a challenge with a GREAT PRIZE attached to it (seriously, a GREAT prize)!
In the spirit of the three-day weekend, I challenge you to list:
~3 things you can do differently to bring Mr. Fabulous into your life
~3 things you can do to celebrate the forward movement you're making in your life
~3 things you like about the current guy you're dating
~3 ways you can show him you care
~3 ways he shows you he cares
~3 things you love about yourself
~3 things you love about your body
~3 ways you can pamper yourself this weekend
I'll start this off
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Thu, May 24, 2012 1:12 AM EDT
I received an email yesterday that I want to share. I hear some form of this a lot: "I'm [not perfect because of fill-in-the-blank] and I'm worried no man will ever want me!" I get it but I can't tell you how much this breaks my heart.Read More »from Can I Find Love when I Have Serious Life Problems?
I lived in the "no man wants a fat girl" reality for a long freaking time. But it's a lie I told myself so I could blame men for the lack of love in my life.I know the truth now: the vast majority of the men I met didn't pick me because of my "Wall of I Dare You" and my insecurities; not because of my fat thighs.
I hope this letter and the articles I refer to help you realize two things:
1. Men are not as superficial as you may think.
2. You are a wonderful woman who, if she can give love, will most certainly receive it.
I appreciate your Friday Quickies and emails very much. I am 42, divorced after a 10 year relationship and very much craving love and a special person to love me. However, I am not exactly the powerful and financially
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Sun, May 20, 2012 9:57 PM EDT
The first 10 minutes of a date often determine whether a second date is even going to happen. And let's face it: second dates are not the norm for many. That was definitely my story until I learned about (what I now call) "Date Waste."Read More »from Nine Ways to Make Your Date Great (in the First Ten Minutes!)
Date waste is when a date is a drag but has little to do with whether you're a potential match. It's a drag simply because neither of you set the date up to succeed. These aren't the dates with jerks that you can't wait to end. They're the ones that are just a little boring, lack sparks, or just go nowhere. You can turn these into very positive experiences.
I see date waste all the time when I'm coaching, and I lived it for years. When I accepted that every date was part of the journey and not just a means to an end, my life changed. Every date is an opportunity. You can talk to a nice person, learn something new, get much-needed practice, and maybe connect with someone you want to know just a little better. It doesn't have to be "Oh, he's The One!" or
I'm often asked what I mean by Dating Like a Grownup. It's obviously a great question that I probably should answer every so often. (I am, after all, the CEO of Date Like a Grownup!) I'm going to give you my definition, and then I'm going to tell you about a great book I've read that does a terrific job of discussing dating and love for grownups.Read More »from Are You Dating like a Grownup?
To me, dating like a grownup means taking responsibility for your own happiness. It means getting past the men suck/I-have-no-control-over-this part-of-my-life nonsense. It means approaching men, dating and relationships with consciousness; allowing you to balance your heart and your head.
Some key ingredients to dating like a grownup:
~Understanding that your happiness comes first; and the rest of the good stuff will follow.
~Staying open to new information and new experiences no matter your age.
~Taking some risks.
~Making decisions that are good for you in the long term and not giving in to short-term pleasure or ego driven choices.
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Mon, Apr 30, 2012 3:23 PM EDT
This is one skill I want you to master: Rejecting online rejection. Learning to accept rejection gracefully, with as few "dings" to your self-esteem as possible, is key to finding your true love.Read More »from User Post: Online Rejection: There’s No Such Thing!
As a dating coach, I've found the #1 reason you won't have success online is giving up too soon. What you perceive as online rejection can exhaust you mentally and the positive attitude you started out with will quickly dwindle.
Here are 4 things to know to help you move forward in the online dating world with your self-esteem intact!
1) They don't know you.
All a guy knows about you is 20 sentences and a crappy picture. If they don't "pick" you, take a deep breath and remember: There are 1000 reasons a guy won't be interested and most have nothing to do with YOU. The want a blonde, someone under 5'2", someone who skis, someone without kids, etc… Better he NOT chose you and save you both heartache and disappointment later. And let's be honest. There are a myriad of reasons YOU reject guys
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup shares why women dating over 40 should relax about their bodies when it comes to sex.Are you excited about the notion of hopping into bed with your new guy?Read More »from User Post: Will He like You Naked?
Slowly undressing…eyes locked…savoring each other's bodies…lust so intense that you both might explode…
…or does the thought of it make you so nervous you want to puke?
Let's face it: if you're working on attracting a fabulous man into your life, ya' better be ready for sex. I know that for many of you-especially if you're dating in your 40s, 50s, or beyond-it's been a while since you stood naked in front of a man.
Many of you tell me that you look forward to enjoying this intimate and glorious part of a good relationship, but the thought of presenting your naked body to your new man seems daunting. After all, you have those stretch marks, sagging boobs, cellulite and wrinkled skin…all kinds of flaws, right?
I received an email the other day that reminded me of how scary this is. I lived this myself-a room could never be dark enough-but I eventually learned the truth: most men just don't care. Here is my email
Ten tips for talking to men from Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ for women dating over 40.If you're a single woman working toward meeting a grownup, confident and relationship-minded man, a must-have skill is the art of conversation. If your perception is that all a guy does is look you up and down and decide if he wants to ask you out, you're wrong.Read More »from 10 Tips for Talking to Men
The Good Guys want to connect somehow if they're going to spend an evening with you. They want to know you'll be fun and open and that the two of you can carry on a conversation. (Just like what you want to know, right?)
You don't have to be a super extrovert. You don't have to tell stories of rock climbing or doing charity work in Africa. What you do need to do is know how to…well…how to be You.
I want you to get asked out by these good guys, so I'm going to help you do that. Let's get started.
Visualize yourself at a party standing at the nosh table. A woman walks up, you make quick eye contact and you smile at each other. How might the conversation go? You might ask her a standard question or two: something in the realm