I am the mother of a three year old little girl and two teenage sons. I hire a very mature 12 1/2 year old girl who lives two doors down to watch my daughter sometimes in the evenings, or when I need to run a quick errand while she is napping (my boys are far too irresponsible to handle the job, plus they have many activities and are seldom available anyway). I pay my sitter $5 per hour, or portion of an hour. In other words, if she is here 3 1/2 hours I pay her 20 bucks. Am I underpaying her? None of my friends have children as young as mine (she was our little late life surprise) so I don't know the going rate, and I am certain rates have gone up since my sons were little.
Although my sitter tells me the money I pay is fine, I know she would not say anything if it wasn't. Therefore, I need some help here. Please let me know how much you pay your sitter so I can make sure I'm not underpaying mine.
Blog Posts by Danine Manette, UltimateBetrayal.com
I am the mother of a three year old little girl and two teenage sons. I hire a very mature 12 1/2 year old girl who lives two doors down to watch my daughter sometimes in the evenings, or when I need to run a quick errand while she is napping (my boys are far too irresponsible to handle the job, plus they have many activities and are seldom available anyway). I pay my sitter $5 per hour, or portion of an hour. In other words, if she is here 3 1/2 hours I pay her 20 bucks. Am I underpaying her? None of my friends have children as young as mine (she was our little late life surprise) so I don't know the going rate, and I am certain rates have gone up since my sons were little.Read More »from How much do people pay babysitters these days?
Okay, I'll admit it, I'm a snooper. I snoop in my kids email, cell phone logs, computer history, rooms and backpacks, and occasionally take a peek into my husband's wallet and cellphone call/text log. True, I work as a professional investigator, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. I think I snoop because I have a constant need to be on top of every situation all the time. With my kids, I simply like to monitor their friends, conversations, and activities so that I won't have too many surprises down the road. With my husband, however, it's a whole nother ballgame.Read More »from Is there anything wrong with snooping?
The truth of the matter is I've been the victim of infidelity in the past and don't EVER want to be blindsided like that again. Does that give me a license to snoop hence forth and forever more? Sure it does. In my opinion, once someone betrays trust in a relationship, they forfeit their right to a blanket expectation of privacy. Now, I'm not suggesting that it's okay to do a complete cavity search every
- Danine Manette, UltimateBetrayal.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Jul 10, 2008 11:24 PM EDT
Is it ever okay to begin a relationship with a man who is "in the process" of getting a divorce?
This is a tricky one. Many years ago my sister stopped seeing a man she'd dated for only a few weeks because his divorce was not yet final, and she felt that was crossing the line. It turned out to be something she now somewhat regrets because he was an intelligent, handsome, financially stable man, who went on to date and become engaged to another woman he met shortly thereafter. Although I understood where she was coming from morally, I still felt as though she was being way too uptight and rigid about the whole thing. I'm not so sure I still feel that way now.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit that one thing which bothers me about Cindy McCain is that she was, indeed, the other woman. Regardless of how troubled John's first marriage was, he was, in fact, still married when he began seeing Cindy. Whenever I see her on television, regardless of my political opinions, I cannot
- Danine Manette, UltimateBetrayal.com | Love + Sex – Tue, Jun 17, 2008 8:57 PM EDT
This is something I've wondered about for a very long time. When I was in college, I had a fling with another girl's boyfriend. I thought she was pretty, so therefore, in my mind, that made me prettier. I also knew that he was taking quite a risk sneaking around with me. That did wonders for my ego because I felt since he was taking such incredible risks to see me, then certainly that must mean I was worth all of the effort and energy he was putting forth in order for us to be together. It was an exciting, unpredictable time being his "secret lover", and I am left with many fond memories of the relationship. But I was 19, dumb, and a little girl compared to where I am today. Which leads me to my current question...Read More »from What drives a woman to sleep with another woman's man?
What exactly drives grown, mature, adult women to sleep with, and continue to be with, another woman's man? Is it an ego boost? The thrill of the challenge? An attraction to what appears to be a stable catch? And if one unknowingly gets caught up with a married man, what
Does it have to be in the bedroom, or can it basically be anywhere on the planet? For me, it starts anywhere...anytime I feel as though my man is in tune with my needs.Read More »from So what's your definition of foreplay?
I have tried to explain to men a trillion times that foreplay does not necessarily involve flowers, cards or jewelry, and often can occur without even being touched. Foreplay for me is when I come home tired and stressed out from a long day at work, and rather than park himself in front of the sports channel, my man walks into the kitchen and starts unloading the dishwasher. Foreplay is not calling me and pestering me about what's for dinner, it's requesting that I come straight home because dinner is already on the table. Foreplay is not asking how he can help with the kids, it's running their bath water, bathing them, and reading them a bedtime story. Foreplay is not asking me if I know where his brown sock is, but rather identifying the overflowing laundry basket shoved in the corner, and taking on the task of
- Danine Manette, UltimateBetrayal.com | Love + Sex – Tue, May 20, 2008 8:17 PM EDT
Okay, so here's the scene. You're driving down the road when you see a car that looks like the one owned by the woman your man had an affair with. It's parked in front of a small cafe. You know it isn't her car, but still you begin wondering if he's ever taken her there or how many other quiet lunch dates they had in similar places. You start imagining them talking, laughing, touching each other and behaving like newlyweds. You wonder if their conversation was about sex and when they could sneak away to have another wet, steamy encounter. Your blood starts to boil as you imagine them, once again, in the midst of a sexual escapade. You wonder how he kissed her, how he touched her, and how his body responded to hers. Then suddenly, you hear the horn from the car behind you honking impatiently, and you realize the signal light has been green for quite a while. As you are driving away, shaking, sweating and mad as h*ll, you wonder if there will ever be a time when you are free fromRead More »from Can't stop thinking about him having sex with the other woman?
- Danine Manette, UltimateBetrayal.com | Love + Sex – Fri, May 2, 2008 8:02 PM EDT
Revenge, should you or shouldn't you? This question has been asked and debated time and time again by infidelity victims. For some reason, victims feel as though they need to cause just as much pain to their husband, and especially to the other woman, as was caused them. Victims spend in inordinate amount of time fantasizing about how and when to exact the perfect revenge. Some methods of revenge merely cause interruption to the cheater and his lovers lives while other methods are much more destructive. Often times, the thought of revenge and the fantasizing which follows are far more satisfying than the act itself. The mere image of the other woman being mowed down by a locomotive or of the husband being publically tarred and feathered is usually enough to satisfy most women's need for revenge. But what about the ones who do follow through with it? Wouldn't you suspect they'd feel better having the opportunity to witness the pain and suffering of the ones who caused them suchRead More »from Wanna get Revenge against your Cheating Man or the Other Woman?
The discovery of marital infidelity is a devastating experience. Although marriages often recover, the speed and degree of recovery is usually dictated by the behavior and actions of the adulterous spouse. Since the adulterous spouse often has no idea what to do, or how to behave, in order to rebuild trust in the relationship, I composed this guide to assist them in doing so, effectively.Read More »from How Does a Cheating Spouse/Partner Rebuild Trust?
If you are the cheating party, you'll need to print this list out and put it in your pocket. If you are the victim of a cheater, you might want to provide your spouse with this list as a reference.
#1 Stop lying. If you love the other man/woman, admit it; if you're not sure you want to remain in the marriage, say so; if the victim spouse presents evidence of the affair, own up to it. You need to understand that the worse thing that could happen has already occurred…you slept with someone else. Therefore, continuing to lie, twist, or deny is simply adding insult to injury. If you are looking your