Ah, the good ol' days
About a week ago I turned 40 …
I was telling a friend that I'd totally trade in my Gen X status for that of a 30 year old hipster who wears black rimmed glasses (yet has no prescription). Then I wouldn't have to admit that I spent most Saturday nights of my childhood hoping beyond hope that Charo would be the surprise guest on The Love Boat or somehow Shari and Lambchop would find themselves in an eerie episode of Fantasy Island where Shari was the puppet. (What, I'm the only one who wished for that story line? I think not.)
No, I wouldn't know a ton of things about pop culture, big hair, or bad TV, had I not been a poster child for Generation X. Things like this:
1. I wouldn't recall the Facts of Life before Edna's Edibles burned down and Cloris Leachman moved in. I'd say, "Who's Mrs. Garrett?" and "Tootie on roller-skates, really? I don't think so."
2. I wouldn't know what it would be like to get up to change the channel on the television set or how to adjust bunny ears. (For those non Gen Xers, "bunny ears" is not a reference to making a stupid finger gesture behind someone's head in a picture.)
3. I wouldn't know what it's like to use my allowance to buy the Beastie Boys License to Ill album (as in LP), and play it on my awesome record player with mono AND stereo … nor would I understand how speakers were sometimes used as makeshift bedside tables.
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4. I certainly wouldn't have learned most of what I know about grammar, science, math, and history from School House Rock. To this day, I can tell you who invented the cotton gin, why 3 is a magic number, and how our nervous system is like a telegraph line. I'm also fairly certain the Great American Melting Pot is an actual stew made by the Statue of Liberty.
5. Nor would I know what a Yuckmouth is, what to do when I hanker for a hunk a cheese. or not to drown my food in ketchup or mayo or goo.
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