Blog Posts by iVillage

The Rules: Surviving the Holiday Season as a New CoupleBy Norine Dworkin-McDaniel

The holidays can feel overwhelming when they arrive a few months into a new relationship. Follow these rules to get through them without hurt feelings or breakup talk.

1) Cut Yourself a Huge Slice of Perspective
Not to go all Bah Humbug!, but 'tis the season to be stressed out -- and that's before you add in the outsized expectations of spending this most wonderful time of the year with the new man in your life. Nothing puts pressure on a new couple like navigating the holiday season. There are family dynamics to contend with, gifts to consider, and travel plans that can go awry. Remember this is a new relationship so don't get wrapped up in what any one moment means for the two of you. "Your first holiday season together does not define you as a couple by any stretch," says Yahoo Health's mental health expert Rob Dobrenski, Ph.D., author of Crazy: Notes On and Off the Couch. "Expect some road bumps and snafus. Then, if they don't happen, you'll be

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What to Say When... Your Friend is DepressedBy Cynthia Ramnarace

When someone you care about is suffering from depression, you want to do something that will make it all better. But here's what people with depression want you to know: They know you mean well with the pep talks and the movie tickets to the latest rom-com but, the fact is, there is nothing you can do or say that will "snap" them out of depression.

Instead, just listen. Be sympathetic. Don't belittle and don't lose patience. And if you fear a person might harm themselves, get them help.

"If a person has cancer, people rally to their side," says Matthew Stanford , Ph.D., professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University . In the same way, "people with depression also need to know they are not alone."

No one chooses to feel depressed. Depression is a brain disorder that affects nearly 1 in 10 Americans, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (more common in women than men, in the unemployed than the employed and in

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What Are the Rules at Your House? Shoes On or Off?By Dina El Nabli

I'm nowhere near neurotic about cleaning my house. Between my 4-year-old son and 21-month-old daughter, it's a good day when I can keep dinner on their plates and trains, tracks and Legos off the stairs (where they patiently wait to trip us up). But when it comes to the floors, we have a no-shoes-in-the-house policy. My kids are trained to take their shoes off as soon as they get home. My husband even has two sets of slippers -- one for indoors and one for outdoors. (Did I mention that I'm really not that neurotic?)

But here's the thing: I never ask guests to take off their shoes. I don't want to impose or make anyone feel uncomfortable. What if they don't have socks on in the summer? Or what if their socks have holes in them? What if you're hosting a party and your friend's gorgeous 3-inch red heels are key to her outfit? (Though I must admit, this isn't usually the case at our house.) It just seems to be a request guests need to prepare for in advance. My husband

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What His Cooking Style Says About His PersonalityBy Kimberly Dawn Neumann

Want to see if you and your mate have the right recipe for romance? How he whips up a meal can offer some major clues.


1) The Free Spirit
Does he let inspiration dictate his menu? People who regularly cook sans recipe tend to be creative thinkers. "When determining ingredients, seasonings, times and temperatures, they turn to personal thoughts, experiences and feelings," says Tom Castrigno, a personal chef in Colorado and founder of HealthyMealsMadeEasily.com. "Choosing a cooking method -- such as poaching versus baking -- is usually based on mood." This chef likely holds an image in mind of the finished dish, and uses that as guidance for to what to do next. These are attributes of "creative" types who are often very sensitive to their surroundings.

Spice Things Up: Sharing in meal preparation with this cook can be a challenge. Since he is making it up as he goes along, he may not be able to direct another person on what tasks need to be done as the meal

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MacGyver Beauty: 13 Crazy DIY IdeasBy Charlotte Rudge and Katherine Kluznik Rentmeester

Whether you're stranded on an island with nothing but you wits or simply flat broke, repurpose what's on hand to turn any moment into a glamorous on.

1) Kool-Aid = Lipstick
DIY dilemma: A day of volunteering at your kid's kindergarten has drained the life from your face--and you've got just five minutes until the school bell rings and you can make a break for a restaurant with the family.

Mission accomplished: Distract the kids with a pitcher of cherry Kool-Aid while you grab a pinch of the powder for yourself and head to the bathroom mirror. Mix with a little water and you'll have made an awesome ad-hoc cheek and lip tint, say Annie and Maggie Ford Danielson, global authorities for Benefit Beauty.


2) Advil Liqui-Gels= Zit Zapper
DIY dilemma: A pimple has reared it's ugly head and you've got nothing more than the contents of the office first aid kit to tame it.

Mission accomplished: Aspirin has long been known as an in-a-pinch zit

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30 Days, 30 Ways to Be HappierBy Arricca Elin SanSone

Try a few of these happiness-boosting strategies to find what works for you.

1) Maintain a Sense of Purpose
People are happier when they focus on what really matters to them. "As obvious as this sounds, we often don't do whatever it is that gives us a sense of meaning in our lives," says Timothy Wilson, Ph.D., author of Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change. In both work and leisure, focus on meeting the goals that matter most to you, whether it's taking care of your family, strengthening your spirituality or improving your community.

2) Schedule Your Worrying
If you can't stop yourself from fretting, schedule a time to worry. "Tell yourself 'I'm not going to do this right now, but I will think about it tonight from 7:30 to 8 p.m.,'" Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. "Sometimes by the time your 'appointment' to worry rolls around, you don't feel you want or need

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The Rules: Dating Your Friend's ExBy Norine Dworkin-McDaniel

If you're going to break the Girl Code rule of "hands off my man even if I'm no longer dating him," you should follow these rules to get through it.

1) Grill Yourself about What the Attraction Really Is

Dating a friend's ex-boyfriend isn't just playing with fire -- it's a bomb that can implode your whole social circle. Your friendship may not survive, and if it does, it will never be the same. "That sounds so ominous, but your day-to-day dynamic and the context of what you share with each other will be different," says dating expert Natasha Burton, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags. "I'd caution women to take stock of their friendship and ask 'Is this guy really worth it?'" Ask yourself Are you drawn to the excitement of plucking forbidden fruit? Or is there an authentic connection that you can see going the distance? "There has to be more than the thrill of the drama because eventually that will fizzle out," says Lisa Paz, Ph.D., a

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Deliciously Awkward Holiday CakesBy Lisa Cericola
These goofy, lopsided, misspelled and downright awkward holiday cakes are only good for one thing -- making us laugh! Here are some of our favorites from the hilarious new book Wreck the Halls: Cake Wrecks Get "Festive".


1) Merrychrist Mas

Something got lost in translation in the making of this cake. Nice cursive, though!

Tipsy Turkey2) Tipsy Turkey

Rough night, turkey?

Seasons Greedings3) Seasons Greedings

Perhaps a subtle message to Wall Street?

Santa Birdy4) Santa Birdy

Is it Santa, or a chicken dressed as Santa?

Mary Christmas5) Mary Christmas

Maybe this cake was for someone named Mary. Or maybe someone needs a spelling lesson.

Oh, Tannen-bum6) Oh, Tannen-bum

You've got to love this cheeky take on a Christmas tree.

We'll Miss You7) We'll Miss You
Looks like someone retired minutes before the office holiday party.










Happy Hanukkah8) Happy Hanukkah
Why does this menorah remind us of playing Operation as kids?











Teenage Mutant Ninja Grinch9) Teenage Mutant Ninja Grinch
Grinch? Ninja Turtle? Scrooge? Whatever this thing is, it's creepy.











Strange Snowman10) Strange Snowman
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