Dear Em & Lo,
My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while but he seems to finish before I do. How would I go about having an orgasm faster?
Okay, imagine you wrote to us and were like, "My boyfriend and I go hiking every weekend but he's a really fast hiker and I can't keep up with him. Can you recommend any special hiking boots that would help me move faster? Or is there a medical procedure that would stretch my legs so that they would be longer and I could keep up?"...
We've got answers to your most popular orgasm questions!
You wouldn't even bother writing to us, would you? Because on the hiking trail you would just call out to your boyfriend, "Hey buddy, can you slow down a bit? I'm having trouble keeping up." And unless he was a complete ----- , he would. If he really enjoyed the workout he got from speed-hiking, you could tell him to do that when you weren't around.
So why should sex be any different? We're not sure it's even possible
Blog Posts by Em and Lo
Getty ImagesRead More »from Ask Em and Lo: How can I speed up my orgasm?
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Our inbox is overflowing and we'll never get to all the lonely hearts, so each week, one reader's fate will be left up to the masses. Answer this reader's question in the comments.
I've recently become single after dating a guy for three and a half years. So far, I'm really enjoying my new single status. I've always been a flirty chick, and now the single girl in me is rejoicing! So, I've had a couple of one-night stands. They were with these really cool, interesting and sweet guys, and my mind was blown each time. (Ten Excellent Reasons to Be Single Right Now)
The problem is, that I always want more from these hook-ups. Of course, I'm not expecting love, but I'm a real romantic at heart and I guess I fall in love much, much too quickly. After each hookup, I've had trouble keeping my mind off these guys, fantasizing about them, stalking them on Facebook, trying to dig up details from mutual friends. It's just that each time I've given myself to these guys, it's because I
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Tue, Sep 23, 2008 5:21 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from Why musicians get laid so much and other true confessions of a rock star
Our friend Mr. Indie Rocker--who insists on remaining anonymous--is a saucy Brit who is lead singer and lead guitarist for a New York-based band. (We'd tell you the band name, but that would kind of blow his cover.) He checked in from his U.K. tour to tell us what he's learned about sex and love on the road. Note to self: Never have more than two drinks before attempting a striptease, and never ever attempt to strip to Tracy Chapman.
Do you think it's true that everyone seems hotter and more interesting when they're on stage?
I never understood that. And believe me, musicians are generally the sweatiest and smelliest dudes there are. Somehow girls don't have a problem with that. I played with a drummer previously who hadn't washed in days. We had been on the road for about three weeks at this point. He picks up this exceptionally sweet girl and goes home with her. He told me the next day that she had performed numerous acts on him that were downright wrong. Now just think for a
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Mon, Sep 22, 2008 8:33 PM EDT
In case you hadn't heard, John McCain's campaign has been playing the Heart song "Barracuda" whenever Sarah Palin gets on stage--apparently that was her nickname on the basketball team in school. Unfortunately, Heart sisters Ann and Nancy Wilson are none too pleased about this. As Nancy Wilson told Entertainment Weekly, "Sarah Palin's views and values in NO WAY represent us as American women. 'Barracuda' was written in the late '70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women...There's irony in Republican strategists' choice to make use of it there." So they asked the McCain gang to stop...and they didn't. So then they pledged to donate all song royalties to the Obama campaign...and the song keeps playing for Palin. And then this just appeared in Seattle's The Stranger. We have no idea if it's real or not, but it made our Monday either way.
Related: Why Sarah Palin Is Tanking
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- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Mon, Sep 22, 2008 8:16 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from LOVE HOROSCOPE: Seeing stars for the week of September 22nd
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
You're a very generous person: You give out help like it grows on trees, you're a lender but not a borrower, and in the bedroom you're quite the giver. But when it comes to commitment, fuhgeddaboutit. Put a cork in your butt and crown yourself "Miss(ter) Anal Retentive." Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just be sure you're not faking anyone out with your generosity of spirit in every other department.
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Beware of someone who seems to be having a little too much fun. Anyone that perky has something to hide.
gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
We think Johnny Lee said it best when he sang, "Lookin' for love in all the wrong places / Lookin' for love in too many faces / Searchin' their eyes / and lookin' for traces / of what I'm dreamin' of / Hopin' to find a friend and a lover," yadda yadda yadda. Don't make us sing the whole thing, just start looking in the right places.
cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
Sure, go for it. If you
Sometime in the early '90s, a sexologist by the name of Edward Eichel claimed he had discovered a brand new way to do it that guaranteed simultaneous orgasms in the missionary position every time! Obviously he had a rather exaggerated sense of his own accomplishment (otherwise he would have won a Nobel, or at least had a very large building named after him)--but the Coital Alignment Technique (C.A.T.) certainly has a lot going for it.Read More »from How to... have an orgasm every time you have sex?
The basic idea is to provide clitoral stimulation during genital intercourse. It's a toughie to master--it sounds more like calculus than copulation when you try to describe its ins and outs. Beyond just following the specific steps below, mastering the C.A.T. requires a philosophical readjustment. Abandon your assumptions that intercourse automatically means a piston-like motion, lots of flailing about, and a rush to climax. For the C.A.T., you've got to take what some might call a more "feminine" approach to sex: think small subtle movements, full-body
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Fri, Sep 19, 2008 6:07 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from Advice From Our Guy Friends: A guy at work is always "excited" to see me
I'm 58, and a 26-year-old man I meet with regularly on a professional basis often gets a hard-on when he first sees me or after we've been talking for a while. I know young men get frequent spontaneous erections. Should I just be flattered and assume that I am one of the dozen or so women he sees that day that are attractive to him and make him get hard, or do you think it's more special than that and he really likes/wants me, or is it just a case of spontaneous erections because he's so young? So, how many times per day DOES a 26-year-old get an erection? Is there a difference in frequency between single and married guys in their 20s? Also, can they tell that they have a hard-on without looking? Sometimes I see guys checking the front of their pants as if to see if something has come up. Can't they sense it?
Here's what the guys say:
Straight single guy (Colin): In what professional basis is anyone getting a hard-on? I've had lots of hard-ons in the past as well as a plethora of
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Thu, Sep 18, 2008 5:54 PM EDT
This week, our intern Kristine deGuzman, a junior at UC Berkeley -- pictured above with her boyf -- bemoans the effects a significant other can have on one's quality college partying.Read More »from College confessional: Do you suffer from "couple's stamina"?
I frat-hopped every weekend of my freshman year. Once Friday rolled around, I would whip out my knee-high, lace-up, black leather boots (that were completely impractical any other day of the week) and strut my way in and out of various fraternity houses. I would drink, dance with random guys, go home, and then do it all over again on Saturday. In fact, my dorm floor pretty much knew it was the weekend if I was wearing my knee-high, lace-up, black leather boots. It was a predictable routine, but oh, how I enjoyed it. (Attention party animals: Some health news for you)
That is until I got a boyfriend and we fell victim to the phenomenon known as "couple's stamina."
I was first introduced to the term during an episode of How I Met Your Mother. It refers to how couples drastically differ from single people
Em & Lo, here's the scoop: I've typically been an early ejaculator and for whatever the cause (years of come & run masturbation, psychosomatic connections, lack of cardiovascular shape, or some combination of the three) I tend to lose my libidinous drive as well as my erection after that less-than-tardy grand finale. I've come to grips with this fate and am comfortable enough to deal with it openly with my sexual partners, to everyone's enjoyment. I've found that if I climax just prior to slipping into her little garden of nirvana, whether it be from gracious and wanton fellatio or my hand giving off an equally arousing show for her, that I can remain hard for dozens of minutes of intense sex. Unfortunately, I'm not immune to mild depression, which is the Kryptonite to even Clark Kent's libido, and does nothing for sustained erections for lay folk like myself. So recently my current partner and I toyed around with (apologies for the intentional pun) a vibrating c*ck ring that came withRead More »from Ask Em and Lo: Do love rings really work?
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