Debbie Nigro, a blogger at divorced women's hang-out FirstWivesWorld.com, is sick and tired of being called a cougar. It's not that she's a stranger to the appeals of the younger man--far from it, in fact--she just hates what the moniker has come to mean: "The word 'cougar' just makes it sound like older women are pouncing on innocent young men, when truthfully we are 'treating them' to the experience of wisdom and an occasional expensive dinner. Neither side in this romantic pairing initially embarks innocently and without agenda." Just look up "cougar" on UrbanDictionary.com to see what she means: phrases like "overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim" and "an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister" are enough to drive any older woman to the nunnery. Or the bottle.
More from Glamour: When a 50-Year-Old Has a Better Body Than You (and You're 25)
Oh, let's be honest here, you don't even have to venture out to UrbanDictionary.com. You can start right here, with yours truly. We
Blog Posts by Em and Lo
Getty ImagesRead More »from Why the term "cougar" gives women a bad name
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Mon, Sep 8, 2008 9:03 PM EDT
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)Read More »from LOVE HOROSCOPE: Seeing Stars for the Week of September 8th
We love it when the stars get all stand-offish and non-judgmental. Take this week, for example: "One-night stands are prevalent." Just that: prevalent. Not even a hint as to whether they approve of all this prevalence or not. So we're guessing you should just stock up on prophylactics and wear your good underwear every day (not the same pair), just in case.
More from Daily Bedpost: One-Night Stands Make Cliches Of Us All
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
So there you are, in your local bar (or corner deli, or indie record shop), eying up the area hottie you've been meaning to speak to for weeks now, and you're finally ready to take the plunge: heart pounding, sweat droplets forming at your temples, hands shaking...but whatever you do, don't use a line. We're serious as cancer. We know that in moments like these, you suddenly forget how to form complete sentences and a line can seem like a handy crutch, but it's not. Better to come right out and admit your
Getty ImagesRead More »from Before I die I want to... have sex in the woods
This week's bucket list edition goes out to reader Elizabeth, who writes, "Before I die, I want to have sex outside in the woods, surrounded by trees." Here's how to do "Sex and the Country" right...
1. First, and most importantly of all, make sure you know what poison ivy looks like. And then, duh, don't shag on it.
2. If you're in the mood for a little against-the-tree squirrel sex, then wear a skirt with no underwear and face your partner. Just be warned that this isn't the most discreet way to do it, in case there are families picnicking in the next field over.
More from Daily Bedpost: Before I Die I Want to... Have Sex in a Swimming Pool
3. Actually, if there are families picnicking in the next field over, any kind of alfresco sex is gross.
4. Not to mention illegal. Another good reason to make damn good sure there is zero chance that an errant dog walker will happen upon you. Okay, so there's never zero chance -- and that's at least half the fun, isn't it? -- but at least
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Thu, Sep 4, 2008 7:31 PM EDT
Getty ImagesRead More »from Advice from our guy friends: Can I quit trimming my pubic hair?
Q: My boyfriend is hairy and does no pubic trimming. I'm ready to go full '70s bush myself. Any advice?
Straight Married Guy (Frederick): By all means, let the garden grow! Full bush is sexy. You're a woman, not a girl. Of course, I'm a product of the '70s, where images from a '70s Playboy found in the bushes influenced my preferences. Most guys like a trimmed hedge. Screw 'em!
[Impertinent Question: How Do You Wear Your Pubic Hair?]
Straight Single Guy (Chris): In all seriousness, I can imagine this is a huge problem. Most guys hate your pubic hair and should return the favor. You should explain to him how much bigger he would look without the hair, buy him a Philips Body Groom, and point him to Shave Everywhere. Make sure he knows that the frequency of oral sex will go up exponentially when the area is cleaned up. Make sure you are diligent about your own grooming. Ask him things like, "You know what would be super hot...?" or "Did you know that you could look one inch bigger
Dear Em & Lo,Read More »from Ask Em and Lo: My boyfriend won't go down on me
Long story short: My partner refuses to perform cunnilingus on me, claiming that the taste is unpleasant. Any suggestions on how to make it better? I've tried all the obvious hygiene solutions, including douching and internal feminine deodorants, but this seems not to improve it sufficiently for him.
[Impertinent Question: What Do You Think of 69?]
Okay, alright, admittedly that's our very unhelpful knee-jerk advice regarding any guy unwilling to perform one of the most basic sex acts out there--oral--especially when it's the main route to orgasm for so many women, and especially especially when about 99.9 percent of men enjoy, indeed expect oral attention lavished on themselves. (In our nearly ten years of sex writing, we've only heard of ONE guy not enjoying the occasional BJ.)
Ask Dr. Kate: I Want Your Sex (more than you do)
That said, who are we to determine the sexual preferences of your boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter?
- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Wed, Sep 3, 2008 11:19 PM EDT
Even though McCain's choice for VP last week is a woman, the evangelical, socially conservative Sarah Palin couldn't be more anti-woman. According to Cecile Richards, the Planned Parenthood Action Fund President (who delivered a great speech at the Democratic National Convention last week), "When Palin was running for lieutenant governor in 2002, she sent an e-mail to the Alaska Right to Life board saying she was as 'pro-life as any candidate can be.'" According to Naral Pro-Choice America, "Palin, a member of the anti-choice group Feminists for Life, said during her campaign for governor that she is opposed to abortion, even in cases of rape or incest."Read More »from Reproductive rights and sexual freedoms, take cover!
More from Daily Bedpost:John McCain Hasn't Really Thought About Your Ovaries
RH Reality Check has a great summary of why you should be afraid, be very afraid: the overturning of Roe v. Wade, more ineffective abstinence-only education (and yes, ineffective abstinence-only education begins at home!), a pro-active assault on gay rights...
If you've ever wanted a bit of help figuring out what's dirty sexy talk and what's just plain weird, then this "Things to Say During Sex" flow chart by comedian Doogie Horner may help. He categorizes all dirty talk as either "good," "bad," or "meh" (hilarious example of the latter: "Thanks for that").Read More »from Things (not) to say during sex
More from Daily Bedpost: Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear After a First Kiss
And each phrase or term fits into a category, from religious to animal noises to swear words to foreign words to--one of our favorites--"rhetorical questions" (you know..."Who's your Daddy?"). So lion noises are good, sheep noises, not so much. And if you wanna rut like a T-Rex, then go for it, according to Doogie, though he recommends skipping the whale sounds. For the record, however, we have to say that dirty talk is largely subjective and most definitely contextual. So while we agree with Doogie that we can't really imagine a situation in which "I rule at f*cking" or "Wanna suck this sh*t?" would go
Getty ImagesRead More »from What we sing about when we sing about the body
Did you know that the eyes are the most common body part sung about in most music genres, from electronica to folk to country to R&B? Even metal! The only exceptions are hip hop, in which la derriere takes the prize, and blues and gospel, where the hands are in the lead (though we're pretty sure the hands are doing different things in each of those genres).
More from Glamour: 14 things he wants you to know about his body
All this and much much more we learned from this excellent Fleshmap, which is based on a sample of thousands of songs. Also, "clit" appears more often than "titty" in hip hop (yay?), while in heavy metal," clit" and "nuts" are even stevens. And at least one hip hop song out there addresses either the toenail or the elbow. We expected jazz songs to mention the nose more often than alternative music (oh, those jazz sensualists!) but we had never thought to wonder which was the most popular term in alternative music: balls, nuts, or scrotum (answer: balls, though
Em & Lo get personal this week, asking New Yorkers if they'll reveal their magic number.
Head over to Daily Bedpost for more scandalous, impertinent questions from Em & Lo.
MORE FROM DAILY BEDPOST AND GLAMOUR:
- Ask Em & Lo: My Amazing Sex Life Leaves Me Black and Blue
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- Em and Lo | Love + Sex – Tue, Sep 2, 2008 5:31 PM EDT
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)Read More »from LOVE HOROSCOPE: Seeing stars for the week of September 1st
You will find it difficult to hide your true feelings. You'll be passionate, warm, and affectionate in your gestures, and this will incur "interesting" responses. Especially if all this "warmth" and "affection" is being displayed on a second date. And you're a chick. And your date is a dude. Don't make any sudden moves unless you're prepared to see a grown man squeal like a little piggie on the way to market.
Check out Glamour's 16 sexy, sneaky acts of seduction to get him into the mood!
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Being overly pushy is sure to blow up in your face this week. And we don't mean "blow up" in a sexy, let's-fight-and-make-up kind of way, you dirty little drama queen. No, we mean blow up in a "I'm leaving you for a more mellow partner who won't make me commit to a joint bank account just yet" kind of way. So don't push it, Mr./Ms. Pushy-Face.
gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Your timing's all off. Or maybe it's the person you're kind of sweet on