Blog Posts by Em and Lo

Dear Em & Lo,

I'm a 24-year-old virgin in just about every way you can be--second base is about all I can claim. It's not for religious reasons, and I'm not waiting for marriage (heck no! Must test-drive the car first). I held off in high school, and then held off through college because I consciously wasn't ready for the responsibility that comes with being sexually involved with someone. Now I'm just waiting for a guy who means enough to be worth giving it up, someone who I really trust and who is patient with me.

But that's not my dilemma. I've waited so long now that I'm scared about that first time. The idea of the pain is my biggest tangible fear, I think. I've heard nothing but horror stories from friends about their first times, and as a woman with quite a low pain tolerance, I've worked myself into a tizzy worrying about it.

I'm totally open to the idea that good sex comes with practice. But clearing this hurdle is holding me back from doing much dating at all to avoid the

If you're a regular reader, then you'll know that we're huge fans of Feministing (even if we do wish that the site's name didn't always make us think of fisting). So how could we not love founder Jessica Valenti's new book, He's a Stud, She's a Slut? Sure, some of the double standards she includes might seem a little tired (like "He's a Bachelor, She's a Spinster"), but that's kind of the whole point, isn't it? It only seems tired because we're sick and tired of the fact that it's still freakin' true. Other double standards include "He's p---- Whipped, She's a 'Good Girlfriend,'" "He's an Activist, She's a Pain in the Ass," "He's a Celeb, She's a Mess," and a bunch of other stuff guaranteed to get you all riled up. In honor of Lindsay Lohan's blossoming relationship with Samantha Ronson, we thought we'd excerpt from "He's Gay, She's a Fantasy," after the jump...
"Ask a straight guy about lesbians, and you're likely to get some smart-ass comment about porn, girl-on-girl action, or

stfree.jpgWe're usually all for anything that encourages safer sex. And in theory, the STFree Safe Sex License (recently reported on by New York's Daily News) is a great idea: Test people--especially those in high risk communities--for STDs (mainly HIV), give them a card with their picture and an ID number. They can then give that card to potential sex partners, who can call to confirm the results. The idea is to encourage honest discussion about sexual history with partners, as well as regular testing.

But here's why we're not 100 percent gung-ho:

• They test mainly for HIV (which admittedly is the mutha of all STDs), though the card's name would suggest that all STDs are covered. Regarding testing for other STDs, the website says, "Those Safe Sex Licenses require an extremely frequent amount of testing. It is mostly used in the adult entertainment industry, but can be provided to any user who requests one." Which kinda sounds to us like they don't do them that much. On top of that, there really

We wanted to watch the video clip of the ladies from The View discussing Kegels. Of course, co-host Sherri Shephard (who doesn't believe in the theory of evolution, thinks nothing pre-dated Jesus, and is not sure whether the Earth is flat or round) claimed authoritatively that "Kegels don't work." Dumb-ass. At least Whoopie and even Elizabeth Hasselbeck defend the power of pelvic floor-strengthening exercises.

Anyway, in order to watch this clip on ABC.com we were forced to view an online ad first from Chips Ahoy, and that's where things got really disturbing: the claymation commercial features a chocolate chip cookie singing Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" to a "sexy" blonde human female (in a little black dress complete with cleavage) as an attempt to woo her into a kiss and, one can only assume, eventually into sex. Their lips (yes, the cookie has lips) almost lock before a giant hand swoops in, deus ex machina-style, and steals the cookie, preempting what would only have been

Getty Images
You know that feeling when you're calling up some guy to cancel a date and you're thinking that you might be willing to sacrifice your first-born if only you could guarantee you'd get his voice-mail? Or perhaps you've been on a date or two with someone who's so nice but not the one and you just kind of want to let things peter out via a few missed calls rather than actually have to dump them. Or you've had a one-night stand with a good friend and you feel like you owe them a call rather than an email but you don't actually want to navigate the awkwardness of a live conversation. Or you promised a hook-up you'd call but you didn't mean to say it but you know it's lame to just disappear into thin air. Well, imagine if you could skip straight to voicemail and make it look like a missed call, so you're off the hook, as it were. A new technology called Slydial allows you to do just this--and all you have to do is listen to a few ads. Genius.

We can't believe this didn't exist back when we

Em & Lo give the ladies a chance to tell men what they need to know about sex.

Why do geeks make great luv-ahs? We can't say for sure, but Glamour has a round-up of hot ladies who found happiness with not-so-very-cool dudes.

MORE FROM DAILY BEDPOST AND GLAMOUR:

• Advice: What's Better Than Sex?
• Get to your healthiest weight by Summer!
  Sign-up now for Body by Glamour-lose inches, get in shape, win prizes, and have fun!
• Top 50 Sex Myths
• Subscribe to Glamour right now and get an exclusive tote bag free!

See, we always thought that the whole point of a sex toy was that you didn't have to give it directions. So a voice-activated Rabbit sounds like our ultimate nightmare--especially given how unreliable voice-activated products can be. You know how annoying it is when you get stuck in a phone tree because the automated operator can't understand you? Now imagine that happening in the middle of a self-love sesh. If we were being generous, we'd mention the possibility that talking to your vibrator might give you the confidence to vocalize your wants and needs with a human partner. But the thing is made from PVC, which just ruins the whole thing for us. Yeah, we'll stick with a manual control pad, thanks.

[Video: Claire from Babeland helps you find the perfect vibrator that's right for you!]


Photo via Onjoy.com

MORE FROM DAILY BEDPOST AND GLAMOUR:

• Advice: What's Better Than Sex?
• Get to your healthiest weight by Summer!
  Sign-up now for Body by Glamour-lose inches,

Summertime, and the horoscopes are sleazy...

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Usually we're all for jumping in the deep end with both feet. But we feel it's our responsibility to tell you that some little dude just took a piss in the Relationship Pool. Best to wait a while, let the chlorine kick in, and then test the waters with your toe for warm spots. Plus, you just ate and you need to digest.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Going green this week will help your sex life. Turn off your air conditioner. You and your loved one will be forced to take your clothes off. Plus, all that naked skin glistening with sweat will be begging to be touched with an ice cube. Hot!

[Video:Green Sex Toys at Babeland]

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
It's summer, dude, why overanalyze everything? Why not focus on your partner for a change, instead of "the state of the relationship." Don't put this paramour under the microscope just yet--they're not ready for your pessimistic and picky questions and observations.