Blog Posts by Em and Lo

Dear Em & Lo,

I am a teenager in a new relationship with a guy a year older than me. I have never done anything besides kiss with a guy, and I know that he is definitely not a virgin. I don't think I am ready to do anything with him, and I know he is going to try something soon. How do I address the fact that I am not ready to do anything sexually with him? I'm afraid that if I tell him I don't want to do anything, he might get mad and breakup with me, but I'm hoping he's not that kind of guy. I need help!

Under Pressure

Dear U.P.,

Do NOT to do anything you don't want to do--it's that simple. Just tell him you really like him and like hanging out with him, but you want to take things slowly and you're not ready to do anything beyond kissing at this point. If he gets mad and wants to break up with you, then you should break up with him! If you know you're not ready to get physical, he should respect that. If it's a deal breaker for him, so be it. You'll feel better if you stay true

As sex writers we tend to think that, while plenty still makes us blush, there's not a lot that we haven't at least heard about. But we had no idea that the elder dating scene was so saucy (even after interviewing performance artist Christen Clifford about elder sex). Naively enough, we just kind of assumed that dating in the twilight years got all chaste and 1950s-esque. Author Bob Morris thought the same thing until his 80-year-old dad started dating again, mere months after his mother's death. It's both heartening and heartbreaking to learn that dating in your eighties is rife with just as many playas and game-playing as in your twenties, as Morris chronicles in Assisted Loving: Tales of Double Dating with My Dad.

Seriously, what would you do if your 80-year-old dad called from his new girlfriend's bed? (And this is no Hugh Hefner scenario: the woman in question was pushing 80 herself.) And how would you counsel your father if he was being led on by a snowbird with a booty call in

We never thought we'd live to see the day when fashionistas would enlighten us with a concept more ridiculous than "toe cleavage." (People, it even has its own Wikipedia entry! What is wrong with this world?!? Now the rest of us have to feel dirty every time our shoes accidentally show a little toe crack.) Then again, we kind of knew that we would. In fact, we almost can't believe that it took those fashionistas so long to come up with the new trend of butt cleavage.

Is this officially the moment that fashion has become a caricature of itself? We're reminded of that terrible 1981 comedy starring Ryan O'Neal called So Fine in which a wardrobe malfunction leads to a new, utterly idiotic fashion trend: jeans with a see-through cellophane ass.

If we squint, we guess it kind of looks like up-top cleavage, but doesn't that just reveal the ridiculousness of décolletage? It's certainly no more ridiculous than butt floss. But will women really pay $38 for something called the "Crack in the

How to stuff a wild bikini, and other hot-weather horoscopes:

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
It's a great weekend at the beach with friends, new and old. As night falls, your sun-kissed skin burns, the air cools and the wind picks up a bit. After cooking veggie burgers and dogs on the back patio grill and putting back a few gin & tonics with lime, a bunch of you stray back to the beach in the dark. All it takes is one exhibitionistic friend, and suddenly the gang is stripping--white asses disappearing into the black water. You hesitate, then throw caution to the wind and drop trou. The fleeting embarrassment is worth this feeling of refreshing liquid in new places. Later, you end up making out under the stars with someone you'd least expect. This has been a metaphor for your week--jump in.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
If you're going to stick your ice cream cone in strangers' mouths, it might come back with sprinkles on it...if you know what we mean. So make sure you put a hard chocolate

We asked men and women alike: do women like porn?

Check out Glamour's 101 ways to have the best sex of your life!

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Dear Em & Lo,

I'm a 25-year-old virgin with limited dating experience. I'm getting out into the dating world, slowly but surely. I know that regardless of my experience level with sex, I should talk to a prospective partner about sex andprotection prior to diving into anything. But I'm hesitant to share that I'm a virgin. Do I owe it to a guy to fess up before we do the deed? Or can I keep mum about it?

--Sandra Dee

[Video: Do you ask about your partner's sexual history before sex?]

Dear S.D.,

Forget about the guy for a second, you owe it to yourself to fess up. You're going to have a lot of sex in the years to come, both good and crappy, but you're only going to lose your virginity once. So why try to make it feel like every other time?

We can't guarantee that the earth is going to move for you the first time--in fact, for women, the first time is rarely orgasmic, and it's often downright crappy. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't even try to make it a bit special. If a guy

Getty Images
This excellent article on how to make your own Velcro cuffs for a little lite bondage action got us thinking about the many reasons we love Velcro wrist and ankle cuffs. Let us count the ways...

1. Regular handcuffs can be mighty uncomfortable after a few minutes--in fact, the police-issue kind can actually cause nerve damage. But Velcro cuffs are built for comfort.

2. Sure, there's something sexy about undoing your man's tie and co-opting it for your own kinky purposes, but the harder you pull on D.I.Y. cuffs like this, the tighter the knots get. And nothing spoils a good bondage sesh like having to take a pair of scissors to a $100 silk tie.

[Video: A trip to Babeland yields demos of unintimidating, kinky toys.]

3. If your nosy aunt goes poking around in your bedroom next time she comes over for tea, she might just think you're into arts and crafts when she finds a pile of Velcro in your nightstand.

4. Industrial-strength Velcro is surprisingly hard to escape from.

5. ...That

If you didn't win a copy of our new manual SEX: How To Do Everything in the Daily Bedpost Haiku Contest, there's still hope! Our friend Brian Battjer is holding his own SEX contest over on his popular site I Keep A Diary. For years, he's published a photo blog of his (mis)adventures, which has developed quite a dedicated following--maybe it's his hilarious captions, or all the clevaage shots he gets his female friends to pose for, or the hundreds of times he and his friends have "brained" each other (sleeping guy + exposed testicles by sleeping guy's face + digital camera = braining) that keeps the kids coming back for more. Since nothing delights Brian more than publicly laughing at himself and his friends, it's fitting that he hold a contest about sexual humiliation on IKeepADiary.com. Air your most cringe-inducing dirty laundry, and you could win!


Check out Glamour's 16 sexy, sneaky acts of seduction to get him into the mood!

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