Blog Posts by Em and Lo

Who wouldn't want an orgasm as a present? Well, you'd be surprised. Some people's greed is not properly directed. In order to avoid offending their delicate sensibilities, follow these ten rules of gift-giving etiquette this holiday season:

1. If the recipient is a sex-toy virgin, go with a kit since they tend to be nicely packaged and are typically beginner-friendly.

2. If the gift is for your partner, toys you can share--like bath accessories, massage oils, little love rings, and finger toys --are a pretty safe bet. [Video: A trip to Babeland yields demos of unintimidating, kinky toys.]

3. If you're worried the recipient won't be totally amenable to the idea of a sex toy as a present, try an undercover toy like a vibrating lipstick--that way, they can always choose to accept it in jest, if they're embarrassed. And they can secretly use it without anyone ever accidentally stumbling on their sex toy, since it's not a sex toy, it's just a lipstick!

4. You can never go wrong with a

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the question--and, in a Man-Handled first, they all agree on the answer--Who should pay on a first date? (Is there any man out there who disagrees with them?!)

Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): The guy should pay. I mean, strictly speaking, the person who issued the invitation should pay, but since the most effective way for a girl to ask a guy out is in such a way as to make him think he's actually asked her out (in order to spare the straight male's delicate ego when it comes to issues of masculinity), it amounts to the same thing. Obviously, if the girl wants to go dutch, then that's a perfectly acceptable arrangement, and the "insist twice on paying before acquiescing and allowing the guy to pay" approach is also particularly gracious (though it does create the risk that he'll actually accept). But we're long past the age when if the guy pays it's because he thinks the girl's place is in the kitchen. The guy

Very rarely are other people's dreams interesting...except when they're about sex. This week dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg helps a man who just can't stop dreaming about the woman who broke his heart.

I have this dream normally twice a week. It involves my ex-girlfriend, whom I still love, and me. We meet somewhere and talk for a little bit, then we always end up in a room making love. What's up with this? We've been broken up for almost three years, yet every week I have this dream. Why?

Is he destined to dream about his ex forever, or can he make it stop? Find out after the jump (right after you send us your own dreams!):

Lauri Loewenberg: Recurring dreams are like a broken record; they are a good indication that you are stuck somewhere in your life. The dreams cannot move forward until you move forward. And it is impossible to move forward when you are holding on to what is behind you. That being said, here's what you can do to help you and your dreaming mind release the death

Have you ever gotten creative with your sex toys and used a household object for an activity not intended?

Speaking of sex toys, try these 10 tips for storing them safely.

MORE FROM EM & LO AND GLAMOUR:

• Ask Em & Lo: How Can I Take the Work Out of Being On Top?
• The Britney Spear Dating Game: Choose Her Next Boyfriend!
• Babeland: A Guide to Pornography
• Subscribe to Glamour right now and get an exclusive tote bag free!

Saucy Brit Emily Dubberley is a Daily Bedpost fave (who can drink both of us under the table). Her latest book, Ultimate Burlesque, is steamy, instructional, and it's raising money for breast cancer. Plus, this prolific sex writer once performed a burlesque in honor of her Rabbit vibrator. Don't you wanna be her best friend?

What is burlesque, and how does it differ from striptease?
Burlesque means parody, it doesn't have to involve nudity, and it's performed by women of all shapes and sizes. However, it often does involve removal of clothes, so "striptease with a sense of humor" is probably the best description.

Have you ever performed a burlesque?
Yes, for a magazine article. I danced to "At Last" by Phoebe Snow--my act was a love song to my Jessica Rabbit vibrator, as the opening line of the song is, "At last my true love has come along" (you had to be there!). Having done a striptease in front of 500 people, despite my cellulite and general lack of dancing ability, I know from

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
"Remember, you can't force anyone to love you," say the stars. Well, the stars can take their self-righteous condescension and go to heck. How can they not expect you to push back when the one you love pushes you to the edge? It's how you push that makes the difference: lather up with honey first, not vinegar.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
We know how badly you want to be in love. But be careful: overdosing on romantic comedies may muddy your brain into believing that s/he's the one. Avoid developing inappropriate attachments to casual dates and/or household pets this week. (The Three Best Romantic Movies. Do You Agree?)

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
You're going to feel sexeee all week. The more you talk about what you like, the more likely you are to receive it. Especially if you say it in your sexeee voice. Try these 16 sexy, sneaky acts of seduction to get him into the mood!

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
The bad news is that Monday's going to suck. But

Dear Em & Lo,

I need a little advice. My boyfriend was in an accident and now he is paralyzed. We can still have sex with the help of erectile shots, which make his penis hard. The problem is, I have to be on top and do all the work. Is there anything out there that might help? Please help! My legs are in the best shape of my life, but they get tired quick, and the shot lasts longer than I can do the work.

--Tired on Top

Dear ToT,

We're really sorry to hear about your boyfriend. But we're really happy to report that we have an answer for you! Pictured above is the Bodybouncer, a device that promises to "take the gravity out of sex." We were sent a freebie a while back when we were researching our book Sex Toy: An A-Z Guide to Bedside Acccessories, and we can attest to its campaign promise. He lies under it, you sit on top, and the handy hole lets you, er, connect. We'll let Bodybouncer.com explain the rest: "Just the slightest flexing of her thighs sends her gliding up and

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the question, Is there such a thing as an ugly vagina? based, in part, on recent advice we gave and the flurry of comments that followed:

Straight Married Guy (Matt):
It's not something I've ever been all that concerned about personally, but I have (very, very rarely) heard guy friends comment on "ugly" vaginas, just as I've heard girl friends (slightly less rarely) comment on guys' johnsons. Some guys think anything other than Playboy-style tiny labia is ugly, and some girls think anything less than a pornstar package isn't enough for them. I'd say both of those categories are tiny segments of the population, and that most people are satisfied within a remarkably broad spectrum of labia and penis sizes. Basically, if it's not an actual medical oddity, it's pretty much all good. And unlike with penis size, where I assume there's actually a difference in feeling, I've never even slightly noticed a woman's labia while having